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e) It Isn’t: Republicans Have Flooded The Media With Garbage Polls By Companies That Support Them To Make It Appear As Though – Wait. Why Wasn’t This An Actual Answer? My, God – Have…Have We Been Bought Off?
0 sense) Match the quote with the person who said it:
a) “I need the kind of generals that Hitler had.”
b) “[The] Vietnam [war] would have been a waste of time for me. Only suckers went to Vietnam.”
c) “It doesn’t cost 60,000 bucks to bury a fucking Mexican!”
i) former President Donald Trump
ii) former President Donald Trump
iii) former President Donald Trump
0 sensibility) How is this race so close?
a) Donald Trump has run a flawless campaign
b) MAGAts are walking perception distortion fields
c) Republican voters are racist and sexist and the party and its surrogates have flooded the internet with lies and misinformation
d) ha ha – really had you going, there, didn’t I? No, seriously dude: Donald Trump has run a flawless campaign
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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COOPER: If I’m Being Perfectly Honest, I’m Dying Inside Watching What’s Happening To Mainstream Media
OBAMA: Work It Out With Your Therapist. The Country Needs The Old You Back!
ANDERSON COOPER: Democrats argue that the election is so close because Republican voters are racist and sexist and the party and its surrogates have flooded the internet with lies and misinformation. But that assessment is too glib. It doesn’t capture the complexity of America’s current political landscape. What –
MICHELLE OBAMA: Why?
COOPER: – have the – what?
OBAMA: Why is that too glib? If you removed the racism and sexism from the equation, nobody would vote for an old man who couldn’t tell you what day it was even if his aides were holding a calendar in front of his face and pointing to it!
COOPER: Because that – that wasn’t my question. My question is: what could the Democrats have done differently to do better in the polls?
OBAMA: Are you for real? Kamala Harris crushed Donald Trump in the debate. She gives long policy answers and, frankly, looks very presidential in interviews. But if you go online, she is caricatured as an idiot who isn’t qualified to be president. Isn’t qualified to be president. When she was putting drug lords in prison in California, it wasn’t no reality TV show! She may be the most qualified candidate for president in the history of the country!
COOPER: You haven’t answered the question. What should the Democrats have done to ensure that they would win the election?
Pause.
OBAMA: Didn’t you used to be a journalist?
COOPER: With all due respect, I’m not the sto –
OBAMA: Who are you, and what have you done with the real Anderson Cooper‽
SOURCE: Drew’s Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/nocommaobama.shtml]
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Tartly Retorted
Do Try To Keep Up With The Language!
Israel has launched missiles directly at Iran. “Israel has an absolute right to defend itself,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu justified the attack.
When asked if he thought starting World War III was a form of self-defence, Netanyahu’s eyes narrowed as he retarted, “Which antisemite in the press asked that question?” All the journalists from outside of Israel blanched and cowered in their seats.
When asked if he thought starting World War III would be enough to keep him out of jail, Netanyahu’s eyes tried to squint further, but they ended up just being tightly shut. His eyes suddenly popping open scared many in the press gallery, but even more were chilled when he started laughing. “Any cost is worth staying out of jail,” he chattily admitted.
In a related story, American mega-pastor Joel Osteen smiled ruefully when he heard about the missile attack on Iran. “Weeeellll…” he stated, “I would have preferred it if Bibi had waited until after all the Jews had returned to Israel. Still, if all of the Jews outside Israel are killed in the World War, I’ll smooth out the details from the book of Revelations…”
SOURCE: The Baghdad Post
[http://www.baghdadpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2024Oct25.html]
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Still Believe We Don’t Live In The End Times?
“August retail sales up 0.4% to $66.6B, StatCan says
Despite gains, consumer spending continues to lag population growth”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1555729530]
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Umm…There’s A “Who’s Your Daddy?” Joke In There, Somewhere, But I’m Going To Have To Wait Until My Brain Recovers From Exploding Before I Am Able To Make It
If you allow your power-addled 55-year-old pundit to privately slam the candidate and publicly lie to your face about what he had said, you’re going to get more of it. The best way to deal with this problem is a matter of debate, of course, but there is consensus on one issue: whatever you do, never spank the pundit! You will look like a neanderthal, and the pundit will probably enjoy it.
If the pundit is Tucker Carlson, he might even give you the paddle to spank him with.
Who knew that Donald Trump’s “enemy within” was a teenage girl with raging hormones? (Not a teenage boy, because, as everybody knows, their hormones don’t rage – they’re born without hormones – shut up!) As for mass deportations and turning the army against American protesters, is that what the cool kids are calling “a spanking” these days? Because I’m not gonna kid you, when I was growing up, that was definitely not cool.
On a scale of one to ten, the ick factor of Carlson’s statement is solar systemic. You could almost say systemick. The one saving grace is that none of us actually is one of his daughters, so we don’t have to look away, embarrassed, and whine, “Daaaaaad!” (Unless you actually are one of Carlson’s three daughters, in which case, you have my condolences…)
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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