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Hush Little Baby, Don’t You Cry
Sooner Or Later, We All Must Die
Gaza Lullaby
Hush little baby, don’t you weep
Soon as the bombs stop, you can sleep
Dream of your parents, they love you with all their heart
(They pray you don’t get blown apart)
They hope you grow up to be an adorable gamine
(Because you didn’t die in a horrible famine)
They hope that your marriage will be oh so merry
(Assuming that you don’t die of dysentery)
They let you play with their hair as long as you don’t pull it
(Or get cut down by an Israeli sniper’s bullet)
All God’s children are full of grace
Unless born the wrong religion, colour or race
So hush little baby, don’t you weep
Consider yourself blessed if you live long enough to sleep
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/899.html]
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All Men Must Die
Donald Trump Is A Man
Therefore I Endorse Donald Trump For Republican Nominee For President
PROFILES IN DISCOURAGE
Nikki Haley: You know that chaos follows Donald Trump wherever he goes. It’s time for the Republican Party to choose a younger leader who is more in touch with the people. And that’s why I’m endorsing Donald Trump as the 2024 Republican candidate for president.
Mitch McConnell: We know that Donald Trump was responsible for the…unpleasantness on the Capitol on January 6th. And we cannot ignore the judgments against him for sexual assault and the four criminal indictments totalling 91 charges against him. That’s why I am left with no choice but to endorse Donald Trump as the 2024 Republican candidate for president of the United States of America.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2024Mar27.html]
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The Company Explored Many Options, Including Limiting Performers To Nouns And Holding Events In Alleys Behind Traditional Comedy Clubs, But This Was The Best They Could Come Up With
It May Be Time To Dust Off The Death Of Comedy Obituaries…
Facing bankruptcy, the company that operates the Just for Laughs comedy festival has announced that it will be cutting back on its activities for the coming year as it seeks creditor protection. Until future notice, comedians will only be performing set-ups.
“We hope to be able to afford punchlines in the next year or two,” the company said. “But that will depend upon whether the environment for satire will improve. Given Pierre Poilievre’s current popularity, I’m not hopeful.”
SOURCE: Titters Comedy Club
[http://www.titters.com/info/TittersClubs/ElginClub/elgNowAppearing.cfm]
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You Should Do Something About That Cough
I Hear There’s A Blue Pill For It
It is rumoured that Donald Trump is seeking a meeting with Elon Musk in the hope that the billionaire will fund his 2024 presidential run – cough cough, lawyers’ fees. Although Musk has denied he will be giving money to any candidate, Trump has reason for optimism – after all, the TwitterX debacle has proven that Musk has no qualms about sinking billions of dollars into a losing proposition.
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel – Live! (On Tape Delay)
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
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Ice Cream Always Tastes Better On TV
Hearing Foreigner…Not So Much
The ice cream parlour booth featured in the last scene of the TV series The Sopranos has been sold for over $82,000. Apparently, somebody wanted to recreate the excitement of sitting around in an ice cream parlour and listening to Foreigner on the juke box.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt01493590/]
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As Einstein Observed, This Is “Spooky Economics”
Legal scholars have suggested that Donald Trump’s lawyers aren’t very good. As evidence, they point to the fact that they claim that Trump has $14 billion worth of assets – more than enough to pay for all of the civil judgments against him – while simultaneously begging judges to reduce the bond amounts he must put up to appeal his losses, crying poverty.
This just shows their genius. They are quantum lawyers, arguing that Trump is wealthy and bankrupt at the same time. They can keep this dual state going as long as nobody opens the box of his books.
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB003413379491518404,11.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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And He’s Smiling
The Only Black Man He Smiles Around Is Clarence Thomas
It’s Their Private Joke…Well, A Joke They Think Is Private, In Any Case…
In an image that went viral, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump stopped his motorcade to pose with six young black men; if real, it would show how popular the former president was with an important demographic for the upcoming election. Unfortunately it was fake, and not even that deep. You want to know how you can tell it was fake? Trump didn’t demand the black men receive the death penalty for a crime they didn’t commit.
SOURCE: Cohan
[http://teamcoho.com/video/opening-monologue-02-22-24]
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And When They Pull Out An Inmates’ Fingernails, They Disinfect And Bandage The Wound
The Liberal Government Is THAT Soft On Crime!
Conservative MP Frank Caputo toured the Quebec prison that houses notorious killer Paul Bernardo, and was appalled at what he found there.
“The rack had pillowed manacles. Pillowed. Manacles. Can you believe that?” he said in an exclusive interview with a dozen right-wing media outlets. “And the hot iron station had an aloe plant next to it to deal with burns. An aloe plant! Not many regular, hard-working Canadians have aloe plants next to their hot irons to help them deal with burns!”
Is it any wonder that crime rates in Canada are soaring when criminals are so coddled by the federal government?
SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2024/03/07/509727.html]
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Measles Smiled Coyly And Stated: “Rumours Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated”
“I’ve always been underestimated,” Measles told me over a warm cup of o-negative (red, because “cream and sugar don’t really improve the taste”). “Everybody in the communicable diseases community told me I was washed up, that my time had passed. Well, I’m back, baby!”
What does measles attribute its comeback to? “I never stopped believing in myself. I knew from experience that I could kill and disfigure large numbers of people if I was just given the chance. And when anti-vaxxers – evolution bless them! – gave me the chance, well, I was ready to run with it!”
What does the future hold for the disease? “Oh, I’m only getting started. This may be my last shot at glory – you know I’m gonna make the most of it!”
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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