Thank you, Supple Kate Fenstruck, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we read that Conrad Black’s lawyer told an Ontario Security’s Commission panel that they should go easy on him because he wasn’t likely to reoffend. Really? Are they planning on putting a cone of silence around him?
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
If We Allow (Certain) End Zone Displays Of Gratitude, The Terrorists Will Win
The Kansas City Chiefs were given a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty when safety Husain Abdullah fell to his knees in what appeared to be a quick religious prayer to Allah after intercepting the ball and running 39 yards to score a touchdown.
Of course, if he had been caught pulling his unconscious wife out of an elevator, the league could have looked the other way for months.
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml.htm#50278134955]
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Cecis Est Une Pancarte
Okay, so, I’ll be honest: I used to think installation art was what the guy who hooked up our cable used to do. (I say used to do, because we’ve got Netflix now. Shh…don’t tell Art. He’d be devastated!) But, I was walking home from my job at Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow, the 24-hour nail salon where I work, when I ran into hordes of people on the street (seriously – my nose will have a nice little bruise from the encounter for the next couple of days). Apparently, it was Nuit Blanche, an overnight festival of art that took place over several downtown streets.
I know, right? I had never heard of it, either.
I will admit that I snuck into the Screaming Booth installation 27 times (but, at least I felt guilty about the last three times). Okay, 32 times if you count the times I pretended I was Naomi Campbell. Still, when I wasn’t doing that, there were lots of other interesting things to experience.
I think this piece is called “Acetone 37 in Shades of Brown, Yellow and Despair.” I like the way it uses the iconography of street furniture to make a subtle comment about the plight of polar bears moving to the big city because their habitat is disappearing, and finding it hard to adjust to their new lives. I think it would have been more effective if it wasn’t such an assault on the senses – especially the sense of smell.
I get this piece. Not just a superficial getting, either, but a deep down in the souls of my shoes getting. It’s a playfully ironic comment on the nature of signage in our urban environment. Unless it’s an actual sign. But, when the street is a festival of art, signs that want to have their message taken seriously really need to state their intentions clearly!
SOURCE: Jennifer’s Brain Blorts
[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
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Don’t Get Smart With Me! …Oh, Wait…
Sunday. 8pm. CBC. Canada’s Smartest Person
On the final episode of the season, the winner is announced, and, surprisingly, he has an IQ of 100. Isn’t that average? We think so. Stern would have thought so. Could it be that Canada’s smartest people don’t participate in gimmicky television shows?
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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They Weren’t Going To Popeye’s, Either
But, Uhh, You Didn’t Hear That From Us
A group of five or six black 16 year-olds was ordered to leave the area of Park Slope, New York because a police officer assumed they were up to no good. His evidence? They were walking down the sidewalk and did not appear to be heading to the basketball court. Commanding Officer Captain Frank DiGiacomo defended his officer’s actions, saying they were intended to prevent crime, despite admitting he had no knowledge of the incident and didn’t know a single detail about it.
“Knowing the details of the incident would have made it impossible for me to defend my officers with a straight face,” Captain DiGiacomo explained. “And, I owe it to the boys on the front lines to give them the best defense I can.”
DiGiacomo added that he liked to know as little about what was happening in his precinct as possible – it made it easier for him to live with his conscience that way.
SOURCE: USA Whenever
[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/newyork/2014-10-07-sloped-foreheads-deal-with-park-slope_x.htm]
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Solid Political Strategy Or Brain Kramp? You Decide
The Harper Government of Canada is reportedly considering additional security measures after an American news outlet reported that Islamic State sleeper agents in the country were planning on entering local shopping malls en masse and switching the tags on all the merchandise, sending the country’s economy into confusion. The fact that the news agency that first reported the plot has since said that it may only be targeted at cargo pants and certain brands of women’s sports bras has not swayed the government from its course.
“The Daily Brain Fart is a widely respected American news outlet, and we believe that their reporting on this issue is highly credible,” said Conservative Public Safety Committee Chair Daryl Kramp. “If they say an attack on Canadian shopping malls is imminent, well, we should be happy to give up our liberties to prevent it. Impulse shopping – it isn’t just vital to our economy, it’s part of the fabric of this great, great nation!”
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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Of Course, We Need The Polar Ice To Make Ice Cream…
If a Congressman makes a fool of himself in the forest and there are no cameras to record it for the nightly news, is he still a fool? Who cares! There are so many Congressmen who say foolish things when the cameras are rolling that we could be amazed for a thousand years and never have to go anywhere near the forest!
So, Republican Representative Steve Stockman was explaining at a hearing of the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology why melting ice won’t raise ocean levels. And, if the only ice that was melting was in the oceans, he might have a point. Unfortunately, much of the ice that is melting exists on land and runs into tributaries that eventually lead to an ocean, so warming really will raise sea levels, just like those pesky scientists have been saying. Smug bastards!
This is what you get when your main source for scientific facts about global warming is the movie Titanic. Or, The Ultimate Bar Book.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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