Thank you, Silantro Gichygoomie, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were so angry about the Facebook data breach that we decided to remove all of the apps from our account. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any apps on our account, so we decided to place some apps on our Facebook account specifically so that we could remove them. And, we were about to do that when OH SHIT, THESE PUPPIES ARE ADDICTIVE! WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL US ABOUT THIS? JUST ONE MORE LEVEL, OKAY? ONE MORE LEVEL AND WE’LL – OKAY, ONE LEVEL AND A QUIZ, BUT THAT’S IT! JUST ONE LEVEL AND A QUIZ! AFTER THAT, WE’LL DEFINITELY –
We’ll definitely get back to you on this.
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Oh, Irony, Is There No Injustice That You Can’t Make Us Laugh At?
SOURCE: T-dot ts
[http://t-dotts/store/new]
more
You Have The Right To State Your Opinion
“Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”
– Dave Gonzales, Sinclair Broadcast Group station KBAK news anchor
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
House Speaker Ryan Makes An Excellent Point
House Republicans have proposed a work requirement for recipients of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). This could throw as many as a million Americans off the programme, which helps poor people afford to buy food.
“Look,” an exasperated Speaker Paul Ryan stated. “It’s a well known fact that poor people make poor culinary choices. I mean, really? Burgers and fries three meals a day? They’re just asking for heart attacks. By cutting off their SNAP funds, we’re showing them that we do not approve of those choices. We’re doing them a favour, really.”
When it was pointed out that poor people often have poor diets because they cannot afford healthy foods, a problem the GOP move would make worse, Ryan responded, “No, pfft, that’s completely – what ever gave you that – oh, look! Is that Stormy Daniels over there talking to Hillary Clinton?” When journalists turned to see what he was pointing at, Ryan ran out of the room.
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
more
If You Love A Trade Agreement, Set It Free
If It Comes Back On You, Take An Antacid
If It Doesn’t, The Profit Was Never Yours
In the spirit of Holy Week, President Trump said that if Mexico didn’t do more to stop the flow of immigrants and drugs at the border, he would set NAFTA free. This is in keeping with Jesus’ message of throwing the moneylenders out…a bone because blessed are the job makers for they shall inherit the girth. I think I read that in Fine Corinthians…
SOURCE: Cohan
[http://teamcoho.com/video/monologue-biblical-leather-03-29-18]
more
You Have The Right To State…Umm, Where Have We Heard This Before?
“Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”
– Aaron Leedy, Sinclair Broadcast Group station WFXL news anchor
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
Scott Pruitt
If You Don’t Like This Article, Don’t Sue It
Scott Pruitt
Was crooked and knew it
He went to Morocco
To get liquified natural gas to flow
Despite conflict laws telling him not to do it
Scott Pruitt
Is part of the swamp, to wit:
For his trouble he was lent
An apartment at below market rent
That is when he really blew it
Scott Pruitt
Exchanged favours. If true, it
Falls with a big WHOMP
On the idea the President will drain the swamp
At this rate he’ll never get to it
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/777.html]
more
By The Time Reporters Realized She Was Talking About The President’s Aspirations For The Country, Not Children’s Aspirations To Develop Careers In Politics, Press Secretary Huckabee-Sanders Had Already Left For Lunch
The White House is coming under fire for a photo of its spring 2018 interns which is dominated by white faces. Dominated may be an understatement: awash, inundated and almost entirely made up of are terms that might better describe the image.
How does the White House justify only 1.5 per cent of its interns being people of colour in a country where over 40 per cent of the citizens are of colour? “Well, it’s aspirational, isn’t it?” Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee-Sanders explained.
Seeing the confusion on the faces on the reporters, she grinned contentedly. Mission accomplished.
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2018/ALLPOLITICS/04/01/reps.main/index.html]
more
You Know What They Say: It Makes Perfect…Storm…
On the first day of marches against Israeli occupation, 15 Palestinians were killed by Israeli soldiers along the Gaza border. The Israeli government vowed that it would respond if the Gaza protests continued. If killing 15 Palestinians wasn’t a response, what was it?
Answered Brigadier General Ronen Manelis: “Practice.”
SOURCE: The Arad Post
[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1412451773225]
more
Or, Russia Doesn’t Attack It With Hailstones
The USS Little Rock, a Freedom-variant warship (whatever that means), has spent three months on its native voyage in Montreal. The stopover was not planned: the boat was trapped by ice in the Canadian port and officials decided to wait until weather conditions improved before allowing the ship to continue on its maiden voyage.
I don’t know about you, but I’m comforted by the fact that we have a new ship ready to go into battle. And, as long as it doesn’t come under a sustained barrage of Scotch on the rockses, it should serve us well!
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel – Live! (On Tape Delay)
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
more
You Have The Right To State – Okay, Whose Opinion Is This, Really?
“Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”
– Jennifer Gilbert, Sinclair Broadcast Group station WBFF news anchor
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
You Have The Right To State Your Opinion – As Long As It Agrees With Your Corporate Owner’s Opinion
“Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”
– Andrea Hay, Sinclair Broadcast Group station KFXL news anchor
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
You Have The Right To State Your Corporate Owner’s Opinion
If That Isn’t Exactly What The First Amendment Says, The Founding Fathers Can Be Forgiven For Not Anticipating Every Eventuality…
“Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”
– Jim Snyder, Sinclair Broadcast Group station KSNV news anchor
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more