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Who Says Canadian Art Is Boring? Okay…Who Else?
I Dreamt I Fucked Michael Snow’s Walking Woman
I dreamt I fucked Michael Snow’s Walking Woman.
She didn’t have any hands,
But that was okay;
I would happily pick up after her –
Or before her,
Or in any other direction she might need.
True, she didn’t have any feet,
But it wasn’t like we were going anywhere,
And, anyway, that’s why god created wheelchairs.
Okay, her head was a little freaky,
With its bulge in the back,
Like a silhouette of John Merrick,
And the top shorn off,
Like a victim in a Hannibal Lecter wet dream.
Still, nobody’s perfect.
I dreamt I fucked Michael Snow’s Walking Woman.
It was dreamy.
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/217.html]
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It Should Try Putting Its Head Between Its Legs And Holding Its Hands Over Its Ears Until The Noise Stops
Industry Minister Jim Prentice declared that Liberal leader Stephane Dion “has a spending problem.” His party claims that Liberal spending promises would plunge Canada into a deficit and add $62.5 billion to the national debt. They have conveniently forgotten that it was the Liberals who worked off a debt that they had created, and that their tax cuts and increased military spending have shrunk the $14 billion surplus the Liberals left them with to practically nothing.
The Absurd Ironyometer takes a Gravol to try and stop its head from spinning.
SOURCE: Big Alex’ Domesday Countdown Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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Goniff In Sixty Seconds
Jerome Kerviel, junior trader at France’s second largest bank, Societe Generale, lost more than $7 billion dollars. Makes you wonder how much the senior traders lost…
After being arrested for fraud, Kerviel insisted that managers at the Societe Generale were aware of the bad trades that he had made, and willing to look the other way as long as he appeared to be making money, but they deny that this was the case. Plausible deniability – not just for politicians any more.
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=87dodcc7-f6f3-4f4f-9f25-a2eb4cc6a528]
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Democracy Is Too Important To Be Left To Citizens
“If you put things in an electoral context, then parties have to find ways to differentiate themselves from other parties. It’s about giving the electorate a choice.”
– John Manley, explaining why the Afghan War should not be an election issue
“The Conservatives and Liberals seem to be finding common ground on Afghanistan. Recognizing that the mission there is too important to be treated as a political football, they have made gestures of compromise.”
– the Globe and Mail, explaining why the Afghan War should not be a political issue
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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You Don’t Want To Challenge Her To A Game Of Darts!
Some Democrats are surprised (shocked and appalled would also be appropriate descriptors) that Hillary Clinton intends to claim delegates from Florida and Michigan. Although she harvested a large number of votes in those states, the Democratic National Committee had previously ruled that they would be ineligible to have delegates because they held early primaries in violation of party rules. Because of this, her opponent Barack Obama didn’t campaign in those states, and wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan.
This should come as no surprise to people who have watched Clinton over the years. It is well known that she demands to be given extra trumps when playing bridge, and she has been known to insist that the value of the properties be reversed when playing Monopoly with her family.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49883-2008Feb18.html]
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This Is Why I Get All My News From A Ouija Board
“Support for Tories, Liberals frozen: poll”
– National Post headline over an article on the results of an Ipsos Reid poll that showed the Conservatives ahead of the Liberals by seven points
“Tories flirt with majority, poll finds
Lead over Liberals grows to 12 points”
– Globe and Mail headline over an article on the results of a Strategic Counsel poll a couple of days later
“Voters still not sold on Tories: Survey
After two years in government, the latest results amount to a failing grade for Harper, pollster says”
– Toronto Star headline over an article on the results of an Angus Reid poll showing the Conservatives only three points ahead of the Liberals which appeared the day after that
“Election: they’re all tied up
Tories, Grits at 34% — at the expense of the NDP”
– Toronto Sun headline over an article on the results of a Nanos Research poll a couple of days later
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1388333638]
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Ingratitude Is Part Of The Dark Side – Who Knew?
“It wasn’t necessarily anything you could feel good about creatively. It’s not why you become an actor, to do stuff like that.”
– Hayden Christensen talks about the joy playing Annakin Skywalker in Star Wars gave him
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Where Is George M. Koan When The Country Needs Him?
The Prime Minister and a Parliamentary Secretary were walking down a deserted six lane highway. “Prime Minister,” the Parliamentary Secretary asked, “what is the proper role of a middling power in the world?”
The Prime Minister had long thought about this, so he had a ready answer, but he paused to appear thoughtful: “The only way a country has to make its voice felt in the world is through military force. No other country will take you seriously if you can’t kill a lot of innocent civilians in a foreign land.”
The Parliamentary Secretary was about to say something about soft power when an Abrams tank sped past, crushing the Prime Minister under its treads. As he watched the tank retreat into the distance, the Parliamentary Secretary could make out an American flag and a bumper sticker that read: “This vehicle stops for Congressional dithering,” and he marveled at the Prime Minister’s wisdom!
SOURCE: Everyday Zen
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/EverydayZen/koan237.html]
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