Thank you, Ozzy Sunburne, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we wondered if Neil Young was still alive, so we asked Gaargle about it; to our delight (and, okay, maybe a little surprise), we discovered that Neil Young is, indeed, still rockin’ in the (not so) free world. Then, we wondered if Bruce Campbell was still alive. He is! Groovy! Then, we wondered if we were still alive. We started typing the question into the search engine, but after a moment’s reflection decided not to risk it…
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The Daily Me Staff
Canada Responds:
We Hear The Pleas, You Make On Your Knees
But The Seeds Of Our Relationship’s Destruction Have Been Planted.
As An Economic Shield, We’re Playing The Field:
We Hate To Be Taken For Granted!
Canadian tourists are among the purist;
Our love for you knows no bounds.
Your colourful money is better than honey,
An addiction we don’t want to get around.
We are America’s mayors and we don’t care
About Trump’s tariffs and trade wars.
Our hearts are broken – no, we’re not jokin’ –
Please come back to spend money on our shores!
New York’s economy you maim, Florida’s just ain’t the same,
Because you no longer come to our cities.
To attractions all over our towns, attendance is way, way down –
For God’s sake, show us some pity!
We are America’s mayors and we don’t care
About Trump’s talk about the fifty-first state.
Our hearts are broken – no, we’re not jokin’ –
For Snowbirds to return we can’t wait!
[break]
DAVID HOLT: Stop pushing, Mamdani!
ZOHRAN MAMDANI: I’m not pushing you, David. I have too much respect for you to manhandle you like that.
HOLT: Hunh! That’s just the sort of thing a Commie bastard like you would say!
MAMDANI: Wow, that escalated quickly!
As local economies shrink, we can’t help but think
Of all of the good times we shared.
Though tensions between us continue to grow, we just wanted to let you know
Wherever you are our hearts will be there.
We are America’s mayors and we don’t care
About Trump’s hemispheric ambitions.
Our hearts are broken – no, we’re not jokin’ –
We want you back with no conditions!
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/997.html]
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Despite Constantly Complaining About Communists, The Trump Administration’s Control Of Corporate America Seems Nvidious…
The Justice Department is investigating Nvidia’s $20 billion deal with AI company Groq.
“What ever happened to companies having understandable names?” demanded a DoJ staffer on condition of anonymity. “American Steel. You know what they do. Make steel. In America. AT&T – American Telephone and Telegraph. You don’t have to wonder who they are or what they do – it’s right there in the name. But Nvidia? It sounds like a world out of a fantasy novel! And Groq sounds like a noise a cat would make when it was coughing up a furball! How are we supposed to assess companies when their names mean nothing?”
Could this investigation have anything to do with the fact that Nvidia is a major competitor of Alphabet (owner of Google), a fervent supporter of President Trump? “Alphabet is a great example of what I’m talking about!” the DOJ rep stated. “They sell letters. Could anything be clearer than that?”
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB113413397491118404,00.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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What’s Justice Got To Do With It?
What Is Justice But A Sweet, Old-fashioned Notion?
1 way of pandering to a conservative electorate) The following ad has started appearing on public transit throughout Ontario. What is the subtext for the ad?

a) condo construction has slowed – apparently, there is a limit to the appetite of foreign speculators for Canadian property – who knew? – and the Premier has to find a way to reward his supporters in the industry somehow…
b) *SNIFF* *SNIFF SNIFF* Is that…an election I smell in the air…?
c) hey, kids! Doesn’t a job in the skilled trades look exciting? We sure hope so, because when we get done eviscerating the university system, that’s all you can look forward to!
d) all of the above
2 bad for protesters…and the unhoused…and drug users…but, honestly, if they wanted justice, they should have given more in campaign donations to the Conservative Party) The following ad has also appeared on public transit throughout Ontario. What is the subtext for this ad?

a) be fair! If we’re going to have more jails, we’ll need people to fill them!
b)*SNIFF* *SNIFF SNIFF* Oh, yeah. Elections have a distinct smell – a combination of rotting pumpkins and broken promises…
c) well will you look at that! A Black woman is a prosecutor! Guess the justice system isn’t sexist or racist after all!
d) all of the above
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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US: We’ll Never Agree To That!
Iran: We Know. But We Don’t Trust You, So We’re Willing To Negotiate With Poison Pills To Make It Look Like You’re The Party Unwilling To Negotiate.
US: That’s Outrageous!
Iran: What Can We Say? We Learned From The Best.
US: You…What? Really? Oh, Well, Thank You For Tha –
Iran: Israel.
US: Oh…
“MIDDLE EAST
Iran proposes deal to reopen strait
Minister says talks can resume on nuclear program in seven days if U.S. lifts blockade, sanctions”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1576555583]
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And Remember: Even Though The Checks Will Be Sent Two Weeks Before The Election, You Cannot Refer To Them For Income Tax Purposes As “Bribes”
The Trump administration has announced a plan to issue $500 rebates to some customers of Obamacare. Given the hellaciously expensive nature of the American medical “system,” here is a list of medical expenses $500 will cover:
- 12 seconds in a hospital bed
- half a tongue depressor
- three small bandages, one medium sized bandage, or a third of a dressing
- the top corner (your choice of right or left) of an x-ray
- three seconds of a doctor looking at your chart as they walk out of the hospital or clinic, followed by a brief diagnosis, such as “Oh, dear,” “Ha ha ha ha – seriously?” and “Ooooh, that looks nasty!”
- enough drugs to overdose painlessly
- a gun and monogrammed bullets (so the coroner will know who was shot by you and who was shot by the police)
SOURCE: The Medical-Industrial Complex
[http://www.medical-industrial-complex.org/journals/micx/strategic_medical_spending/secure/2_pds.htm]
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