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If Howard Lutnick Was Replaced By Howard The Duck, Do You Think Anybody Would Notice?
(The Feathers Could Just Mean He Was Having A Gay Moment…)
CHINA: If you insist on putting tariffs on our goods, we will put an equal amount of tariffs on yours.
DONALD TRUMP: Was that a threat? That sounded like a threat. Well, guess what? I’m not afraid of you! I was gonna put an 80% tariff on your goods, but since you threatened me, I’m going to put tariffs of 145% on all goods coming into America from China. What do you think of that? Hunh? Don’t sound so tough now, do you?
CHINA: We will levy tariffs on a wide variety of American goods to offset the tariffs you have placed on our goods. As soon as America takes your tariffs off our goods, we will remove our tariffs on yours.
TRUMP: That’s fine. Do your worst. The American government is going to rake in billions while your industries suffer. Is your economy tanking, yet? Because it will. You just wait and see. Your economy is in serious trouble now. You should have never started this trade war!
CHINA: We will never back down.
TRUMP: Okay, so maybe the stock market has been having some bad days and prices for certain goods are going up, but your economy is doing so much worse. How can you stand the hit you’re taking? Seriously, when are you going to back down?
CHINA: We will never surrender.
TRUMP: Okay, I think the point was made. I have just signed an Executive Order lowering the tariff on Chinese goods to 30%.
CHINA: We will lower our tariffs on American goods by a similar amount.
TRUMP: Aha! Did you see that? China blinked! I told you we just had to wait them out! Feel that? It feels like…winning…
HOWARD LUTNICK: Donald Trump is the most brilliant negotiator in the history of the United States!
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1098&dir=bb]
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A Country Of Dreams Can Be A Country Of Nightmares
Why does the Republican Party appeal to so many Americans?
During elections, Democrats talk a lot about “meeting people where they live.” The problem with that approach is that they need a machine that would allow them to travel to another dimension to find where tens of millions of Americans live, and such machines are the stuff of science fiction.
The Republican approach to voters during elections is “meeting people where they want to live.” As the eminent political philosopher Stephen Miller put it: “People want to live in a place where they feel safe – you know the kind of neighbourhood I’m talking about: white and Christian – sorry, I don’t do coy – a neighbourhood where every man has risen on merit to become a millionaire and every woman is a beautiful mother of 17. Sure, that neighbourhood doesn’t exist in our reality, but people who vote Republican in our reality yearn for it, and who are Democrats to destroy their dream?”
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB113593974911127384,00.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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Bubble Brains/Bubble Zones
Toronto City Council is debating a proposed bylaw that would create “bubble zones” around schools, child-care centres and places of worship where protesters would be limited to…well…not protesting.
Councillor James Pasternak, responding to criticism that the bylaw would infringe on the rights of free speech and assembly, responded, “We’re not undermining anybody’s ability to speak freely. Say whatever you want. You just can’t do it in certain places. If you want to protest, I would suggest El Salvador. In fact, I have a powerful friend who would be happy to help you go there!”
SOURCE: Toronto Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2025/05/16/509727.html]
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For People Who Like This Sort Of Thing, This Is The Sort Of Thing They – KABLOOIE!
10pm
CBS
SWAT
The season finale finds the team fighting against the usual villains in the usual way. Special weapons include: a Tickle Me Elmo doll that shoots lasers from its eyes, an elephant catapult and an exploding crutch.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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T. O. Space. C. O. M. B. A. T. Space. A. N. T. I. S. E. M. – Are You Giving This Statement The Thought It Deserves Yet?
The Trump administration is justifying its draconian attempts at dictating what America’s colleges can do with the claim that the measures – which include government control of hiring, firing and setting curricula – are necessary to combat antisemitism. To combat antisemitism. To. Combat. Anti. Semitism.
How is this credible, coming from a President who has invited a neo-Nazi to his inauguration, did not respond when his biggest backer made the Nazi salute on live television – more than once – and said “I think any Jewish people that vote for a Democrat, I think it shows either a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty.”?
“Hey, I love Jews!” Donald Trump defended the Executive Order. “If there were no Jews in America, I would have to go out of the country to get my taxes done! And that Jeff Dunham – a great comedian, a credit to the Jewish people. Anyway any Jew that doesn’t support Israel are traitors to their own people. Don’t condemn me for saying it – Jews say it themselves. How come they can say it and I can’t? Hunh? Tell me that. How come they can say it but I can’t?”
SOURCE: The New York Crimes
[https://www.nycrimes.com/live/2025/05/03/america/israel-nazi-president-hooboy]
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You Must Want To Spite Your Face Really Badly
FLORIDIAN: Fucking Canadians!
ONTARIAN: Okay.
FLORIDIAN: Hey! Where you going?
ONTARIAN: Home.
FLORIDIAN: But you been a customer of my bait and switch and tackle shop every summer for as long as I can remember!
ONTARIAN: I know. But what can you do? I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.
FLORIDIAN: Yeah, but your money is always welcome here. Don’t go! I said: your money is always welcome here, dont… Fucking Canadians!
SOURCE: Weekends!
[http://www.nobc.com/Weekends/video/play.shtml?mea=227897]
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