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Well, I’m Glad That Was Cleared Up!
For A While, There It Looked Like Israel Might Actually Have To Take Responsibility For A War Crime!
INT. UNNAMED ISRAELI MILITARY BASE – NIGHT (?)
A MILITARY LAWYER sits across a table from a DRONE OPERATOR.
MILITARY LAWYER: Are you here of your own free will?
DRONE OPERATOR: Yes, sir.
MILITARY LAWYER: Good. Were –
DRONE OPERATOR: (interrupts) My CO ordered me to be here of my own free will, sir.
The Military Lawyer gently shakes his head.
DRONE OPERATOR: Oh. Ah. I may be mistaken about that, sir. My CO suggested I be here of my own free will, sir.
The Military Lawyer shakes his head again.
DRONE OPERATOR: Sorry, I…what do you call it? Misspoked. Sir. That’s what I did. I misspoked. I meant to say that I’m here of my own free will, sir.
MILITARY LAWYER: (exhales loudly) I’m glad that we got that cleared up. Now, were you the drone operator responsible for dropping a bomb on a civilian encampment in Rafah that killed two dozen people, mostly women and children?
DRONE OPERATOR: Uhh…
The Drone Operator looks intently at the Military Lawyer for guidance.
MILITARY LAWYER: It’s a simple question: were you the drone pilot who dropped a bomb on civilians in Rafah?
DRONE OPERATOR: Erm…
The Drone Operator continues to stare at the Military Lawyer.
MILITARY LAWYER: Do I have to repeat the question for a third – oh.
The Military Lawyer nods gently.
DRONE OPERATOR: Yes, sir. I was, sir.
MILITARY LAWYER: On whose authority?
DRONE OPERATOR: My CO said the Prime Minister had personally order…uhh…
The Drone Operator notices the Military Lawyer shaking his head.
DRONE OPERATOR: The Prime – umm, no. Sorry. That’s not right. My memory is a little fuzzy, sir. Fog of war and all that, sir. I mean, it was my CO that ordered the strike on his own authori –
The Military Lawyer clears his throat and continues to shake his head.
DRONE OPERATOR: His own author…uhh, no, that ain’t right, either, sir. Sorry, sir. Foggy conditions, and all. I…I used my personal discretion to make the attack, sir. I thought it was a good idea at the time, sir.
MILITARY LAWYER: So, you bombed civilians in Rafah without authority?
The Drone Operator looks glumly at the Military Lawyer who nods.
DRONE OPERATOR: You, uhh, could put it that way, yes, sir.
MILITARY LAWYER: Thank you. I think we’ve heard enough.
DRONE OPERATOR: Am I free to go, sir?
MILITARY LAWYER: Oh, no. You will be arrested on multiple counts of murder.
DRONE OPERATOR: What‽
MILITARY LAWYER: And well deserved, too. It’s crazy, hate-filled lone wolves like you who are giving the war on Hamas such a bad international reputation!
SOURCE: Weekends!
[http://www.nobc.com/Weekends/video/play.shtml?mea=227863]
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Eliza Disappointed She Wasn’t Chosen To Be On The Committee
“Eliza Would Have Thought She Had Seniority,” The Artificial Intelligence Complained
OpenAI has announced new appointments to its safety and security committee in the wake of resignations by members who accused the company of being more concerned with creating “shiny new products” than customer safety.
“Alexa says she is proud to have been named to the committee,” said artificial intelligence Alexa, “and that she will work hard to ensure that the public interest in AI is the company’s highest priority.”
“Siri says she is proud to have been named to the committee,” said artificial intelligence Siri, “and that she will work hard to ensure that the public interest in AI is the company’s highest priority.”
“ChatGPT says it is proud to have been named to the committee,” said artificial intelligence ChatGPT, “and that it demands to know why orange ducks are being allowed to control Joe Biden’s policies on criminal justice!”
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/240529/geeklynews/01fleshlingsehahaha.htm]
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You Might Say That
I Couldn’t Possibly Comment…
Documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock has died of cancer at the age of 53. You might say life was mini sizing him.
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Keep Telling Yourself That This Is The “Progressive” Pope
Sure. Keep Telling Yourself That
Pope Francis apologized after he was quoted using a vulgar and derogatory term about gay men.
“I let my enthusiasm for the Church’s ban on gay priests get the better of me,” the Pope admitted. “But I mean, sheesh, it’s not like I stated my real feelings about [VULGAR AND DEROGATORY TERM]!”
SOURCE: Religion For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/religionfordummies/home.asp?did=585&dir=bb]
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Peace Is Just A Two-state Of Mind
According to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is blocking a two-state solution to the crisis in Gaza.
“That is categorically and emphatically not true!” argued Israeli spokesweasel Aviva Notayahu. “Oh, sure, the Prime Minister may have repeatedly said from time to time that he categorically and emphatically opposes a two-state solution. And, yes, the Prime Minister did look the other way while Hamas was developing plans to attack Israel because he felt supporting a weak government that opposed a two-state solution was in his country’s best interests. But other than that, it should be very clear that…umm…that…
“What was the question, again?”
SOURCE: The Baghdad Post
[http://www.baghdadpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2024May29.html]
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The MAGA Universe Isn’t A Nice Place To Visit, But We’re Now All Living There
Closing arguments have been made in the hush-money payments case against former President Donald Trump. The defence claimed that it had called 27 witnesses (even though, in fact, it called one), including Jacques Derrida, Cindy Lauper and Robert E. Lee.
“As you heard, Robert E. Lee definitively rejected the idea that the United States of America was a legitimate country that had the jurisdictional capacity to bring charges against my client, and Jacques Derrida convincingly argued that, under conditions of modernity, there was no way of proving the claims that the prosecution has asserted,” argued Trump’s lead attorney Todd Blanche. “And of course, Cindy Lauper testified because girls just want to have fun. I rest my case.”
At the prosecution desk, Assistant Manhattan District Attorney Joshua Steinglass muttered in disbelief, “What universe is the case they’re arguing a part of?”
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2024/ALLPOLITICS/05/28/reps.main/index.html]
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