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The Daily Me Staff
Tony, Tony
You’re…So Boney?
Sconey?
Certainly Not Atoney!
Brave, Brave Tony
The MP from Perry Sound-Muskoka
Took fifty million bucks
Despite the fact that the government is broke – a
Fact about which his Tories cluck.
The money that was meant to go to the G8
Summit went to other projects in his riding.
Despite the opposition’s fury at Gazebo-gate,
The tumult he is abiding
If anybody looks out of his element,
It’s Treasury Board President Tony Clement
A lesser man might rush
To defend his reputation,
But Tony just sits on his tush
For the Question Period’s duration.
They taunt him once, they taunt him twice,
They taunt him thirty times or more.
To answer would be cowardice,
So Tony does not take the floor.
He watches with a face carved from cement,
The brave (not bold) Tony Clement
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/578.html]
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And, The Arab Spring Is Immediately Followed By The Arab Get Your Coats Out Because It’s Going To Be A Viciously Cold Winter
Twenty doctors and nurses who treated injured protestors in Bahrain have been found guilty by a court of “abusing the hospital for political purposes.” Their sentences ranged from five to 15 years in prison.
If you had ever wondered what will happen after the Arab Awakening, now you know: the Arab Hitting The Snooze Button, Rolling Over And Going Back To Sleep.
SOURCE: The Arad Post
[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1098851590225]
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Or, Swordfish
People are wondering if a photograph from 1860 that was put up for sale on eBay that bears an uncanny resemblance to John Travolta proves that the actor is actually a time traveller. I don’t think so.
If Travolta really could travel back in time, don’t you think he would have found a way to stop the production of Battlefield Earth?
SOURCE: Late Tonight with David Lenoman
[http://marketing.ubs.com/latetonight/latetonightshow/monologue]
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Peewee Politics
In a poll of representatives of 11 Canadian polling companies, 10 pollsters responded that ideologically driven polling was distorting democracy and giving the profession a bad name. The other pollster responded, “I know you are, but what am I?”
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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We Have Reached The Third Circle of NHelL
It was either a kumquat or the peel of a kumquat, depending upon whether somebody had eaten the insides of the piece of fruit before they tossed it. Either way, after Wayne Simmonds of the Philadelphia Flyers saw it hit the ice surface on Thursday night, he told reporters he was “confused.”
“I always knew that some hockey fans were racist,” Simmonds, who is black, explained, “but I never realized that they had the redeeming quality of being incredibly stupid, too.”
Police have charged Chris Moorhouse under the Trespass to Property Act. Moorhouse insisted that “what I did was not racist. It was satire.”
It was a busy week for Simmonds, who had to attend a disciplinary hearing for telling New York Ranger Sean Avery: “You suck kumquats.”
“I always knew that some hockey players were homophobic,” Avery responded, “but I never realized that they had the redeeming quality of being incredibly stupid, too.”
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#59235420865]
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No Self-awareness, But Plenty Of Insite
The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that, given the overwhelming evidence of its value, an exemption from drug laws for Vancouver’s Insite clinic, which allows drug users to self-inject under clinical supervision, should stand. This is a blow for the “don’t confuse my morality with your facts” Conservative government. However, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has said that his government will act quickly in response to the decision.
It will appoint two hard-right conservative judges to try to stack the Court in its favour.
SOURCE: Vancouver Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/VancouverStunned/News/2011/10/01/508701.html]
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Move Doesn’t Hurt So Much:
New Orleans Stopped Being Fun Years Ago
Mardis Maigre: Thin Tuesday. A celebration of not overindulging oneself before Lent. Was “Mardis Gras” before the obesity epidemic achieved monumental proportions.
SOURCE: The Non-existent Pages
[http://www.utopia.tv/erewhon/index.html]
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On The Other Hand, If A Provincial Government Tries To Help Them, Squash It
Squash It Like A Bug
“Helping immigrant workers fit in
By 2031, one in three Canadian workers will probably be foreign-born, so it’s important for businesses to help them adapt”
– Globe and Mail
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=12701341278]
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Blue Peter – Isn’t That A Vodka, Brandy, Lemon Juice And Hot Chocolate Beverage?
So, I entered C-DIK’s “Three Words About Existential Pudding” contest and won two tickets to see Blue Peter. I didn’t know who Blue Peter was, but I figured if I went, I would have one of those, “They did that song? I didn’t know they did that song! I love that song!” moments.
Shows you how wrong you can be.
DOWN IN FRONT! Blue Peter, as seen by a woman who is four feet, three inches tall. Despite my height, if I knew any of their music, I would have said that I was their biggest fan!
According to Wiwipedia, Blue Peter was an 1880s East German prog polka band. They took their name from Peter the Great, who had a mansion filled with rooms painted blue. Or, maybe he liked to play with dolls with blue skin. Or, he might have been one of the best performers the Blue Man Group ever had. It depended upon what minute you accessed Wiwipedia’s Blue Peter page.
The band’s biggest hit was “Don’t Walk on By, Renee,” although it also scored big with a song called “Chinese Torture.” I think I may have heard the words “Chinese torture” early in the set, although it may just have been feedback. I – okay, you know what? I may not know much, but I do know one thing about the band Blue Peter.
I’m never entering a C-DIK contest again!
SOURCE: Jennifer’s Brain Blorts
[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
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Your Time Might Have Been Better Spent Reading Scientific Reports
“I have done a lot of soul-searching on this and have come to the conclusion that we are not exporting death.”
– Baljit Chadha, a Montreal businessman who has raised private funds to reopen a Quebec asbestos mine
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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