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One Indian, Still Dead
The Ipperwash verdict is in. Although he did find that then Ontario Premier Mike Harris did say, “I want the fucking Indians out of the park,” Judge Sidney Linden also found that he wasn’t directly responsible for the ensuing death of Indian activist Dudley George. Harris supporters claim the former premier was exonerated because, although a bigot and a thug, he wasn’t a murderer.
And wouldn’t that make a great campaign slogan? “Vote for me. I may be a bigot and a thug, but at least I’m not a murderer!” The campaign signs practically create themselves, don’t they?
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
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Caught You Loving!
How Celebrity Works, A Reenactment, Part Two
FANS: I love you.
CELEBRITY: Me? I’m just a –
FANS: We know who you are. That’s why we love you.
CELEBRITY: Oh, you don’t really know who I am.
FANS: We know enough about you to know that we love you.
CELEBRITY: I’m flattered.
FANS: We love you.
CELEBRITY: Thank you. It means a lot –
FANS: We hate you.
CELEBRITY: What?
FANS: We hate you.
CELEBRITY: But, you just told me you loved me.
FANS: Well, now we hate you.
CELEBRITY: But, I haven’t changed.
FANS: We have. Buh-bye.
SOURCE: Entertainment For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/home.asp?did=475&dir=bb]
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Hello, I Must Not Be Going
It was revealed this week that MPs voted to give themselves a substantial increase in their travel allowance. I’m sure the Canadian public would agree with paying for politicians to travel outside the country – it’s having them return to Canada that we have a problem with.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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How About Going To The Place Known As “Acting?”
“I will not go full frontal. I need somewhere to go as an actress.”
– Lindsay Lohan
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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And, Yet, It Makes You Wonder How They Sleep At Night
Even though he has been imprisoned for five years and, when the American government finally started to try him, the case was thrown out on a technicality, Omar Khadr must remain in jail. This is in accord with the time-honoured legal principle of “We’re scared shitless and we don’t care what injustice we have to perpetrate to help us sleep at night.”
SOURCE: Toronto Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2007/06/08/536727.html]
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What’s Wrong With Just News?
It’s not just news. It’s a collision of 1 million monkeys typing at their computer keyboards.
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070612.eladvote0612_@/BNStory/adSelflove2007/]
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Was Laura Jealous?
MONDAY: Closure Freak: somebody who hates it when a work of art ends with any ambiguity. EXAMPLE: “Those Sopranos fans sure are closure freaks, aren’t they?”
Closure Freakout: what happens when closure freaks don’t get their way; symptoms may include uncontrollable sobbing and writing angry letters to newspapers and Web sites. EXAMPLE: “Those Sopranos fans sure had a closure freakout after the last episode of the series, didn’t they?
TUESDAY: The President has finally found throngs of adoring fans to walk through…in Albania. What, Turkmenistan was too far away? While he was shaking hands with and having his hair tussled by people, do you think he was fantasizing that they were Americans? Or, Iraqis?
WEDNESDAY: It now turns out that a Canadian soldier who admitted that he clubbed a woman with a tire iron may be addicted to sex. And, I’m thinking: if I’ve been having sex wrong all of these years, I don’t want to be right.
THURSDAY: Alright! Major greenhouse gas emitters, including the United States, have finally pledged themselves to “strong and early action” on this environmental disaster in the making. Of course, their agreement didn’t include any hard targets, like cutting carbon output by a specific amount. They just agreed to “seriously consider” doing something. And, by early action, they apparently meant by 2050. Wow. Can you imagine how much worse things would be if President Bush hadn’t committed himself to doing something about global warming?
FRIDAY: Can you open up a can of whupass on somebody’s whole body? I mean, it’s not like they call it whupelbow (sounds like a tennis ailment) or whupstomach. And, hey, if you don’t have a can, can you keep your whupass in a bottle or a mason jar?
SATURDAY: Don’t be so smug about reading a newspaper. A large number of people who don’t read do vote.
SUNDAY: Somehow, I doubt that global warming is caused by god taking up the planet in a big old embrace. Hugs shouldn’t hurt so much…
SOURCE: Random Thoughts and Blood Clots Home Page
[http:suzie.randomthoughts&bloodclots.blogspeck.com]
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Your Mistake Was Looking In The Mirror
It came as a shock when I realized that I look like a shorter, older, less Scottish version of Billy Connolly.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Are We So Insecure That We Need To Take Credit For Mass Extinctions Now?
“Did comet over Canada wipe out mammoths?”
– Toronto Star headline
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1676565932]
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Reason Not That Which Cannot Know Of Reason’s Reasoning
He’s at it again, the Goremeister, the Goreberatur, the Goremenghast. With his new book, The Assault on Reason, Al Gore has taken everything that is good and right and just about this country and thrown it into a dung heap of illogical arguments, poorly chosen metaphors and outright character assassination.
According to Gore, American discourse has declined in the past 20 years. Oh, really? Ask the brave men and women who are risking their lives to bring freedom to Iraq – I’m sure they’ll tell you different!
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.33/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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