Thank you, Konrad van Finckenstein, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we heard about a man in Utah who was billed $39.35 by a hospital for “skin to skin after C-sec.” As far as anybody can tell, that line item referred to him holding his newborn son in his arms. And, we thought, Have you ever seen newborn babies? Ug-ly! Their heads look like mutant cauliflowers and their limbs looked all shriveled and pruney, like they had been thrown in a pool of water and left there for nine months! (The fact that that kind of sums up the human gestation process just makes things ickier.) Frankly, we would pay good money to not hold a newborn baby!
Fortunately, we didn’t say that out loud – we didn’t want to give hospital administrators any ideas!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Still Think You Can Win Without The Support Of The Party?
Prominent Republicans have responded negatively to last week’s release of a tape revealing Donald Trump boasting about sexually assaulting women. Some officials were so disgusted that they are no longer willing to push voter ID laws that disenfranchise Democrats.
“You used to have to give a pint of blood in this state to ensure that your DNA proved you were who you said you were before you were allowed to vote,” said Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. “But, my conscience has been so…repelled by the comments that Trump made about women that I have decided to order a stay of the law for this election cycle.
“I just…I respect women too much to want to steal this election away from them for that man!”
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2016/ALLPOLITICS/10/18/reps.main/index.html]
more
“The Rape Police” Is Not A Song By Cheap Trick
I’m Sure Bun E Carlos Is Grateful (Even If He’d Be Suing The Band If It Was)
You can do anything, the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. One. Do you know what it is? Consent. Consent is the magic key to the left, the unicorn that sprinkles fairy dust over any act, no matter how sordid, how unnatural, how…icky, and makes it all right. Consent. Pfah! What – what makes consent so special? I mean, what ever happened to the days when “No” meant “Get her another drink?” Or, just give the roofie a little more time to work?” Or, “Oh, she’ll say she regretted it in the morning, but you know she wants it now, so give it to her, give it to her good!?” People on the left are okay with men and women having sex with their toaster ovens, as long as the appliance consented, but not with the way men and women have been having sex since at least the 1940s? Consent? Please! You think King Louis the Fourteenth cared about consent? When he wanted sex, he took it, because it was good to be the king! Okay, I…I may have learned that from a Mel Brooks film, but the principal stands. Consent! Honestly! If people only had to do what they ‘consented’ to do, American society as we know it would collapse overnight!
SOURCE: Rush Limburger Home Page
[http://www.rushlimburger.com/home/daily/site_101316/content/truth_distorter.hostile_enemy.html]
more
When Faced With A No Wynne Situation, PUNT!
Queen’s Park has put its latest session on hold as the Ontario Premier and most of the Liberal cabinet are holding fundraising events before the new rules over fundraising events take effect. Premier Kathleen Wynne has six fundraisers scheduled for Friday afternoon alone.
We asked the Conservative and NDP leaders for their views on this issue. Unfortunately, they were busy holding fundraisers of their own and had no time to comment.
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=
1088591976812&call_pageid=860335218492&col=901466972854]
more
The Buck Stops Here (Cuz I’m Over There)
2 faced) When Donald Trump loses the American Presidential election, how many American cities will burn?
a) 3
b) 10
c) 30
d) more than 30
3-D nightmare) Whose fault will that be?
a) Hillary Clinton (the bitch stole the election)
b) the mainstream media (helped the bitch steal the election)
c) all the bitches who lied about Trump groping them (just because he boasted on tape that that was something he did)
d) Republicans who didn’t fully support him (because they let that bitch win)
e) international bankers (do I have to draw you a map to their religion?)
f) Muslims (do I have to draw you a map to their religion?)
g) a faulty microphone
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
more
Would You Settle For 68.6 Per Ce – Wait A Minute! This Is Not A Negotiation!
Of the $106 million paid out in the first year of the Canada 150 community infrastructure project, 68.6 per cent went to ridings won by the Conservative Party in 2011.
“Yeah, yeah,” said Conservative Party leadership hopeful Kellie Leitch, “and we ended up losing the election in 2015 despite spending all that cash. If you ask me, we should get our money back!”
When it was pointed out that the money came from Canadian taxpayers, not the Conservative Party, Leitch said, “Okay. We should get half the money back, then.”
SOURCE: The National Whipping Post
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/news/story.html?ia=0ec1ecda-b3e604c19-bf8b-07b025cc93ec]
more
There Goes The Lamestream Media, Again, Insisting That Words Actually Have Meanings!
CNN reporter ANDERSON COOPER is interviewing Donald Trump supporter SCOTTIE NELL HUGHES.
SCOTTIE NELL HUGHES: Donald Trump was just bragging about sexual assault, he didn’t actually commit sexual assault.
ANDERSON COOPER: Just bragging?
HUGHES: That’s right. But the mainstream media wants to make it seem as if he had done what he was talking about.
COOPER: But, isn’t the whole point of bragging that you want people to know how proud you are of something you’ve done?
HUGHES: Not necessarily.
COOPER: No?
HUGHES: Absolutely not. Just the other day, I was bragging to my husband about how I ran the mile in under two minutes.
COOPER: Is that even humanly –
HUGHES: He bragged right back at me that he was having an affair with the busty blond next door who’s half his age.
COOPER: Isn’t it possible –
HUGHES: Absolutely not! He was just – he was just bragging about something that hadn’t happened. That’s my point. People do it all the time.
COOPER: So if I bragged that I finally understood the alt-right movement and had decided to vote for Donald Trump for President?
HUGHES: I would congratulate you on your good sense.
Cooper looks flummoxed.
SOURCE: Drew’s Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/hughessorrynow.shtml]
more