Thank you, Klaatu Nazer, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. We don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. To resolve to do something better implies that we aren’t already doing everything as perfectly as possible, and that’s a possibility that we refuse to acknowledge. However, it has been pointed out to us that to not make some sort of New Year’s resolution could be construed as “antisocial.” Well, heaven forbid that we do anything antisocial! So, for the coming year, we reso
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The Daily Me Staff
Because The Devastating Effect Of Molded and Semi-Molded Structured Pullman Suitcases On Children Should Never Be Underestimated
The Halton Catholic School Board, not content with merely looking foolish, has not only rejected the recommendation of its book committee and banned Philip Pullman’s fantasy novel The Golden Compass, but it has also banned the other two books in the His Dark Materials trilogy, even though they were not under review.
The School Board is now considering banishing from its library stacks Cydney Pullman’s Worker vs. worker: How to prevent worker-on-worker violence: a training workbook for workers, Edward E. Pullman and Durlynn C. Anema’s Diapers, Deadlines and Decisions: Careers and Children, Wesley E. Pullman’s African American Men in Crisis: Proactive Strategies for Urban Youth (Children of Poverty), Bernard Pullman’s Intermolecular Interactions (Perspectives in Quantum Chemistry & Biochemistry), Stanley Buder’s Pullman: An Experiment in Industrial Order and Community Planning, 1880-1930, Philip M. Parker’s The 2007 Report on Molded and Semi-Molded Structured Pullman Suitcases under 22 Inches: World Market Segmentation by City and any books having to do with Pullman trains or Pullman porters.
“This may seem extreme,” board chair Alice Anne LeMay stated, “but extremism in the defence of children is no vice.”
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.47/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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Remember: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
I wasn’t shopping for last minute Christmas gifts at The Source. Really, I wasn’t. Okay, I was. But, what I was doing there isn’t important. What is important is that KISS WAS IN THE STORE! When I got home and told The Boy, he told me to get real. What would Kiss be doing in a The Source store in New Jersey? I told him: shopping for last minute Christmas gifts, d’uh! What else would anybody be doing in The Source at this time of year? (Other than me. Even if I was.)
Is it a real soul Kiss, or is it just an empty promise of love? Who cares!
PS: That’s not me. With them. Whoever they are.
The Boy reminded me that I’m not really a Kiss fan, that I’m more of a Celine Dion and Queen kind of gal. He knows me so well. And, yet, in a way, isn’t that an indication that he doesn’t really know me at all?
SOURCE: Jennifer’s Brain Blorts
[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
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We’re So Proud…And Yet Vaguely Disturbed…
The annual patting of the poodle’s head took place at the White House yesterday. President George W. Bush scratched Canada behind the ears and said, “Who’s a good boy? Yes! Yes! You’re a good boy! Who’s going to get those Afghan terrorists? That’s right: you are!”
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who prefers not to get too close for fear of getting dirt on her perfectly clean business suits, smiled paternalistically and repeated, “Good dog. Very good dog,” with all of the false cheer that has made her political career the success that it is.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper and the press that support him rolled over and enjoyed having their belly rubbed. At least, that’s the official reason for why they rolled over…
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
No Foreskin Off My Back
A lock of John Lennon’s hair sold at auction for $48,000. Meanwhile, you can buy Jesus’ prepuce on virtually any street corner in Rome for 100 lire. It looks like what Lennon said about the Beatle’s relationship to god was true after all.
SOURCE: Entertainment For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/home.asp?did=481&dir=bb]
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Oh, I’m Sorry, Was That Anti-American Of Me? I Obviously Need To Read The National Post More…
Today’s nominee for the Glob and Maul’s Nation Builder of the Year award is American President George W. Bush. Here’s what some of you said about him in your online nominations.
>> “He’s done more to bring Canadians together than any of our politicians have done, and helped us define who we are. Not him.”
>> “Bush was right when he said he was a uniter, not a divider; he just had the wrong country.”
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20011222.eladvote0102_@/BNStory/specialNBY12_2007/]
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Merry Christmas (Pursuant To Section 18, Paragraph 6, Sub-paragraph 3 Of The Employee Rules of Conduct) And A Happy New Year (Pursuant To Section 18, Paragraph 6, Sub-paragraph 4 Of The Employee Rules of Conduct)
FROM THE DESK OF NED FEEBLISH:
Management of Les Pages Aux Folles Ltd. Co. would like to wish you and yours all the best in this festive season, and to remind you that Dilbert cartoons are not an acceptable method of personalizing your office space. Pursuant to Section 7, Paragraph 13, Sub-paragraph 29, Bullet points 8 through 14, “any personalization of cubicle space which demeans any senior manager or assign of any senior manager, as defined in Section 1, Paragraph 27, Sub-paragraph 3, ‘Definition,’ either directly or by implication, shall be considered Insubordination worthy of disciplinary action up to and including firing as allowed in Section 18, Paragraph 12 of the collective agreement, ‘Getting Rid of Troublemaking Assholes.’”
BC and Garfield are still acceptable.
Sincerely,
Ned Feeblish
ned.feeblish@lespagesauxfolles.ca
Vice President, Internal Relations and Authority Demonstrations
Les Pages aux Folles
a wholly owned subsidiary of MultiNatCorp
“We do (corporate backside-covering) stuff”
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096280245374786cahs01.html]
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Hey! The Man Baird His Soul – The Least You Can Do Is Try Not To Laugh
“Let me be clear: Canada is determined to honour our commitments.”
– Environment Minister John Baird
“Kyoto is essentially a socialist scheme to suck money out of wealth-producing nations… Implementing Kyoto will cripple the oil and gas industry, which is essential to the economies of Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Saskatchewan, Alberta and British Columbia… Workers and consumers everywhere in Canada will lose. THERE ARE NO CANADIAN WINNERS UNDER THE KYOTO ACCORD.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper, in a 2002 fundraising letter
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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