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OPR Tells OLC: FU
On issues such as wiretapping and torture, former President Bush has claimed that lawyers in the Office of Legal Counsel cleared his every decision. Now, a report by the Justice Department’s Office of Professional Responsibility claims OLC’s legal advice was not impartial, was, in fact, written to give Bush the results he wanted. What are the implications of this?
Imagine a fig leaf dangling before the former President’s genitalia. I know – not a pretty picture. It gets worse. Now, imagine a hurricane blowing past the President, imagine what it will do…to the fig leaf. We’re talking about the fig leaf, here, okay? But, yes, your point is well taken: things will get ugly.
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor
[http://www.comedycentric.com/tv_shows/thedaytodayshowwithjontudor/headlines_pol.jhtml]
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The More You Groan, The Harder It Will Be On You
Will O’Brien succeed as host of The Tonight Show, or will he still be seen as following Jay Leno, who now moves to a prime time slot? Tis a Conandrum.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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THIS Is Why We Can’t Afford To Lose Our Newspapers!
Political satire and science fiction have a long, if troubled history. Elizabeth Renzetti, Tabatha Southey and Michael Valpy debate how well it works in Ira Nayman’s Alternate Reality Ain’t What It Used To Be.
Michael Valpy: I must admit, I didn’t get very far into the book. The author seems to think he’s more thoughtful that I thought he was. I think. Anyway, the air of smug self-satisfied satirical superiority just didn’t do anything for me.
Elizabeth Renzetti: Not to forget the lack of alliteration.
Valpy: I’m sorry?
Tabatha Southey: I know exactly what you mean. I read three and a half pages of it, and I found that it just wasn’t funny.
Renzetti: I did a little better than the two of you: I managed to read 52 pages.
Valpy: Did it get any better?
Renzetti: Not really.
Southey: So, we’re agreed that this isn’t a good book?
Valpy: Absolutely.
Renzetti: Totally.
Southey: But, we’re supposed to yak for 10,000 words. What are we going to talk about?
Renzetti: I’d love to talk about my new dog.
Southey: I don’t know…
Valpy: Leah McLaren’s tan lines?
Southey: Yeah…no. Maybe we should give the book another try…
Valpy: (sighs) Okay. Let me read a few more pages and get back to you…
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090228.eladvote0228_@/BNStory/insightLiteraryCatastrophe2009/]
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To Be Fair, He Probably Believes It When He Says It
“There will be no government bailout of mortgages in Canada.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper, now
“We’re not running a deficit. We have planned a realistic scenario. We’ve got conservative budget estimates. We’ve got a modest platform that doesn’t even fill the existing fiscal room that we have and we have plenty of flexibility in how we phase it. So that’s our policy. We’re not going into deficit.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper, thennish
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Props To You For The Observation
Four RCMP officers tasered and killed a Polish man, Robert Dziekanski, in a Vancouver airport because he was wielding a stapler. This whole tragedy could have been avoided if they had just watched the movie The Wrestler; then, they would have known that a stapler isn’t a deadly weapon, it’s a staged fight prop.
SOURCE: Vancouver Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/VancouverStunned/News/2009/02/22/509327.html]
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Funny Magicians And Trolls, Tho – Oh, Wait – That Was Discworld
Science fiction author Philip Jose Farmer has died in his home town of Peoria at the age of 91. He will now be able to explore Riverworld directly.
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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There’s A 97% Chance That I’m 100% Confused
“Rebalancing your toxic assets
After a 50% loss, you need a 100% gain to break even”
– National Post headline
“Odds are 50% that one half of a 65-plus couple will live to age 90.”
– quote from a different National Post story
SOURCE: Wryerson Journalism Review
[http://www.wryerson.ca/wrj/online/fraser-hovercraft1.html]
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UBS? Only On Your Balance Sheet
Antonio Faigelachen has asked a court to dismiss charges of robbery and assault that have been brought against him by claiming that it would hurt his bakery business. “I use the proceeds from my armed robberies to fund Bake It From Me,” he stated. “If I go to jail for robbery, who is going to make Mrs. Mendelbaum’s egg kuchen?
When the judge finally got his urge to laugh under control, Faigelachen added: “What? It worked for UBS!”
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=43ddccd7-f6f3-4f4f-9f25-a2eb4cc6a618]
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And, Should The Majority Non-Catholics In The City Care?
A team of doctors from Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto has made a major breakthrough in stem cell research which could eventually result in personalized organ repair. This leaves just one question: can the Vatican excommunicate an entire city?
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
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Sounds Like Propaganda, Tastes Like Chicken
ANCHOR: The harsh economic climate has changed dinner conversation in the typical Canadian household…
MOTHER: Jimmy, would you be a dear and pass the peas?
JIMMY: The Conservative government’s emergency spending bill contains tax relief for a majority of Canadians.
MOTHER: I beg your pardon?
JIMMY: The Conservative government’s emergency spending bill contains tax relief for a majority of Canadians.
FATHER: Jimmy, don’t talk to your mother like that!
JIMMY: The Conservative government’s emergency spending bill contains tax relief for a majority of Canadians.
FATHER: You go your room, young man, and don’t come out until you stop listening to Conservative advertisements on the radio!
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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R U XBoxperienced?
Byron
Congressmen using Twitter? It’s dead. Meet me – u know where.
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/090231/geeklynews/01jacquaronda.htm]
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