Thank you, Hymen Poe-Critikall, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we had to go online to find a novel (yeah, yeah, everybody thinks they’ve got a book in them!) coronavirus costume for Halloween. When it came in the mail, it didn’t fit. It didn’t fit! It’s a big blob with dozens of knobby bits sticking out! We couldn’t get our arms through the armholes and ended up ripping the whole thing! It just didn’t fit! But, you know, maybe we were overthinking things. After all, what could be scarier this Halloween than defying tradition and going from door to door without a mask?
BOO!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
It’s The Profiles In Cur Age
In 2016, The Republicans held up Democratic President Barack Obama’s nomination for the Supreme Court for nine months, arguing that the people should decide who gets to make the choice of a Justice in an election year. In 2020, a Supreme Court position opened up two months before Republican Donald Trump was up for reelection. It’s a no-brainer, right?
In the Basket of Deplorables, no brainer takes on a whole new meaning.
What about the honour of the Republicans who took a position in 2016 that they acted against in 2020?
“Honour doesn’t help you overturn Roe v Wade,” Senator Majority Leader Mitch McConnell pointed out.
What about being honest with the American people? “Being honest with the American people doesn’t help you overturn the Affordable Care Act,” Acting Chair of the Intelligence Committee Marco Rubio stated.
What about principle? Senators Lindsey Graham, Chuck Grassley and Thom Tillis did spit takes with, respectively, toner ink, lighter fluid and molten lava. And, theirs was one of the more thoughtful responses from the Republican caucus.
Principle? It ain’t nothing but a person who runs a school, now.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Oooooh! So, That’s What Orson Welles Was Talking About!
Well, That’s A 79 Year-old Mystery Solved, Then
The Rosebud motel in Hockley Valley that was used as the set for the multiple Emmy Award-winning TV series Schitt’s Creek will soon be up for sale. Before you buy it, you might want to check on your broker to ensure that he hasn’t been embezzling money from you for the last few years.
Just sayin’…
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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When Doctors Told Him Not To Reopen Schools, That Guy With a Degree In English Literature Started Looking Better And Better
“I hope the tone with the opposition is collaborative. I just hope they don’t play politics. I don’t have time for politics.”
– Ontario Premier Doug Ford talking about the province’s response to COVID-19
“I think the parents would rather us listen to doctors as opposed to some guy with, you know, a degree in English literature [who] thinks he’s a doctor.”
– Ontario Premier Doug Ford talking about the province’s response to the teachers’ union response to his government’s insistence that students go back to school
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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This Article Will Get Multiple Tuts, Which Gives You A Sense Of How Valuable The Whole Exercise Is
Facebook has announced that it will “much more aggressively” label posts meant to mislead or manipulate US voters as we approach November’s presidential election.
“Our designers are developing a wagging finger emoji,” top company official Nick Clegg explained. “We may also append more ‘tut tut’ flags to messages that are clearly incorrect. Tut tuts are the key.”
Why doesn’t Facebook just take such posts down? “Where would the profit be in that?” Clegg mused.
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/200925/geeklynews/01clegglaysanegg.htm]
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Grumpy? Sending Poison Through The Mail Is More Than “Grumpy.”
At The Very Least, It’s “Snippy!” And, Perhaps Even “Grouchy!”
The FBI has confirmed that letters sent to the White House and federal law agencies in Texas that contained Ricin were sent from Canada. “Looks like somebody got a little grumpy about aluminum tariffs” a source within the agency commented.
Nobody has ever died from receiving powdered Ricin in the mail; while it sounds ominous, getting the poison in a letter is less deadly than taking a shower or going to a Trump rally. The FBI source pointed out: “Well, we are talking about a Canadian, after all…”
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/14067422800263000.xml]
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Huawei Has Two Of Journalism’s Five Ws Covered, But Are They The Right Ones?
The US is imposing another round of restrictions on China’s Huawei as President Donald Trump renewed accusations that the company’s telecommunications equipment is used for spying. Alphabet Inc’s Google faces a multibillion-dollar lawsuit in the United Kingdom over claims that YouTube routinely breaks privacy laws by tracking children online.
“The cost of YouTube’s so-called free service is kids that are addicted to online content and influenced by large tech companies that have stolen their privacy,” Cori Crider, director of Foxglove, said. “We don’t want their equipment in the United States because they spy on us,” Trump told Fox News on Monday. “And any country that uses it, we’re not going to do anything in terms of sharing intelligence.”
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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I Don’t Know Whether To Be Comforted Or Disturbed By This Opinion
Can I Be Comfurbed?
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Huawei, the company that makes the technology that underlies 5G networks and – oh, yeah – is controlled by the Chinese government, has taken a pledge that it will not use the network to spy on the country’s enemies. With a hand over its heart and everything.
Listen up, asshole! If I wanted to be lied to by a government, I would listen to what my own politicians are saying! Political dishonesty? That’s one social service we don’t need to outsource!
SOURCE: Listen Up, Asshole
[http://www.(^!$%!$.htm#_)!(*)!*)*)*.htm#%!&&%(.com/index.html]
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New Institutions, Old Priorities
Canada’s largest private retirement home operator says Ontario should loosen restrictions on retirement homes. “We believe, with the right protocols in place, including the existing requirement in Ontario for a negative test prior to move-in, along with enhanced move-in processes and socially distanced protocols, new move-ins need not be forced to isolate in their suites for 14 days,” said Chartwell Retirement Residences spokesperson Sharon Ranalli.
When an angry child of elderly parents asked if the company would only be satisfied when all of its clients were dead, Ranalli got a far-away look in her eye, and a gentle smile played on her lips. A few seconds later, she shook her head and evenly said, “Well, no. Of course not. The government wouldn’t pay us if that happened!”
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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