Thank you, Hunter “Of Souls” Thompson, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we’re not addicted to bubble tea – we can quit any time we want. We just cannot understand why anybody would want to. Our preferred drug of choice is hot oolong dragon tea, please. Yes, hot, even when it’s a gabillion degrees out – have you never seen Lawrence of Arabia? If they drink hot tea in the desert, we can drink it in a globally warmed world. Only…usually, hot means relatively warm, which is perfect. However, once in a while, hot means scalding. This turns the tapioca bubbles into flaming lava pellets of death. When this happens, the risk/reward ratio is pretty clear: RISK: burning the shit out of your tongue; REWARD: a tasty, tasty beverage. How we respond to the flaming lava pellets of death is pretty clear.
Honestly, its amazing we can taste anything with our tongues any more!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
And If We Had Ever Believed In International Law, We Would!
Russia did not bomb a children’s hospital in Ukraine as part of its war to liberate the country from its illicit democratic desires. The building that was bombed was actually a military base. In the middle of Kyiv. With children in it. Who were undergoing medical proced –
Okay, fine, whatever. It was obviously a children’s hospital. But how come when Russia bombs a children’s hospital, everybody complains that it’s a war crime, and Russia is evil and should be condemned for doing it; but when Israel bombs a children’s hospital, they’re acting in self-defence, and everybody involved should get medals, not war crimes trials?
It’s almost enough to make you stop believing in international law!
SOURCE: Demi-TASS
[http://en.demi-tass.com/russia/744377]
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That Was About The Time His Teleprompter Gave Up In Despair
DONALD TRUMP’s speech at the Republican nominating convention: “They tried to kill me. Bastards tried to kill me! They tried to kill me! The Biden crime family! The Deep State! George Soros! Tried! To kill! Me! But I’m not here to talk about that. No. Not when murderers and thugs can freely cross our borders and kill innocent Americans in the biggest crime wave in the history of the country. Not when America is in the worst economic shape its been in since Herbert Hoover was president. That’s right, Herbert Heaver. Look him up! Is any of that true? Who knows? But you know what is true? They tried to kill me! Everybody saw it! Live on TV! And its now on a t-shirt, only $95.99 while quantities last. They tried to kill me. I may never take the bandage off my ear for as long as I live. They tried to kill me. That’s why I deserve to be the next president of the United States. That’s why I will be the next president of the United States!”
SOURCE: Drew’s Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/offpitch.shtml]
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So, Okay, They Caught Up Three Months After Restrictions Were Lifted
But That Doesn’t Mean You Shouldn’t Sign Up For Our “Bringing Up (To Standard) Baby” Podcast And Newsletter!
Babies who were born during the pandemic are falling behind developmentally. Some throw up at a slower pace than babies born at other times, while others cry for no discernible reason, driving their parents to distraction, on average 37% fewer seconds than peers brought up outside COVID restrictions.
“If we had let them go to early-before-pre-kindergarten like the generation of children before them, they wouldn’t have been left behind like this,” stated Elmira Battaglia, spokespropagandist for Childless for Children.
What about the children who would have contracted COVID and died? “I’m sure that would have been preferable,” Battaglie argued, “to being handicapped in the fight to get a position in a prestigious before-pre-kindergarten! You think those children are going to thank their parents for saddling them with an inability to succeed in the rapidly changing, highly competitive global marketplace?”
SOURCE: Today’s Aggressive Parent
[http://www.todaysaggressiveparent.com/toddler/behaviordevelopment/article.jsp?content=20540529_197624_4780&page=1]
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Would That Make Her A Water Cannon?
Judge Aileen Cannon, who appears willing to carry a lake for Donald Trump, has dismissed the classified documents case against the former President. She seems to have accepted the defence argument that the appointment of a Special Counsel, a practice that has been going on for decades and been upheld in eight legal decisions, was unconstitutional because he needed to be confirmed by the Senate.
“Separation of powers, baby!” Trump exulted on social media.
How does this square with Trump’s stated goal to use the Justice Department to exact revenge on his political rivals?
Trump responded: “There’s no need to get carried away!”
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2024/ALLPOLITICS/07/16/reps.main/index.html]
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Feeling The Loss Of Proofreaders? Their Their…It Could Be Worse…
“Christiane [Harlan] was [Stanley Kubrick’s] match intellectually, creatively and culturally, but her more modest career ambitions allowed Kubrick to fully immerse himself in his work for the rest of his life. There’s was a happy marriage…”
– Toronto Star review of Kubrick: An Odyssey
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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If This Is How The Democrats Weaponize The Justice Department, They Aren’t Very Good At It!
Democratic Senator Bob Menendez was convicted on 16 counts of bribery, extortion, fraud and obstruction of justice. He immediately went on social media to denounce the trial as a sham, a hoax and a political prosecution by his enemies in the Department of Justice. Oh, and that he was definitely going to appeal.
When asked about his unusual response to the verdict, Menendez shrugged and said, “It worked once before…”
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/news/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/1106003740260549.xml]
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Justice? It Is To Laugh…
Yamagata Prefecture in Japan has passed an ordinance commanding citizens to laugh at least once a day. We should definitely be thinking about passing a similar law in Canada.
To help citizens comply with the law, Titters Comedy Club would be happy to hold laughter encouragement sessions, every night starting at 7pm, door opening at 6:30, two drink minimum. While this may sound like business as usual at the club, it would actually be a public service.
The Japanese law also “orders businesses to ‘develop a workplace environment filled with laughter.'” To help facilitate this, Titters would be happy to rebrand its afternoon improv classes as “workplace wellness development classes.”
That’s Titters Comedy Club: Making the world a better place one laugh at a time. By law.
SOURCE: Titters Comedy Club
[http://www.titters.com/info/TittersClubs/ElginClub/elgNowAppearing.cfm]
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