Thank you, Guglielmo Ganglion, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, overnight our TwitterX feed changed. We understand why we are now getting substantially more tweets from Elon Musk – ownership has its privileges. It’s kind of him to share his social network with others. We are now getting more news from right-wing sources. These can be placed into three categories: wishful thinking, lies and threats of violence. To be honest, we could have done without this, especially the wishful thinking; if we wanted this, we could always watch Fox. As if these chanages weren’t bad enough, there are lots of tweets about sports. What the hell, Musk‽ What ever gave you the idea that THIS is what we wanted‽ We would quit TwitterX – we’ve been seriously considering it – but we’re addicted to the Girls With Eyepatches account…
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
You Have To Admit Trump Knows How To Sell A Joke: His Cabinet Is Full Of Them
Some Liberals are twisting their panties into dawn knots over reports that, in his meeting with Prime Minister (for now) Justin Trudeau, American President (soon) Donald Trump said that if Canada couldn’t meet its obligations on border security, it could always become the 51st state. Or maybe the 51st and 52nd so that one could be liberal and one could be conservative.
Get a sense of humour, will you?
Although, when you think about it, there could be a lot of benefits to Canada joining the United States. They include:
- Not having to worry about American threats of tariffs on our goods ever again;
- Not having to worry about guns being smuggled into Canada from a foreign country – they will openly be brought into what used to be Canada;
- The football will be better.
The more you think about it, the better the prospect sounds…
SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2024/12/02/509727.html]
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Oddly Enough, His Insurance Company Denied Compensating His Family, Claiming The Bullet In His Back Was “A Preexisting Condition”
Brian Thompson the CEO of insurance giant UnitedHealthcare was shot dead in Manhattan. Police believe that the murder was premeditated, that the killer targeted Thompson, avoiding security cameras and shooting him with a gun equipped with a silencer.
The NYPD would like the public to know that they are pursuing leads in the case, and that they have narrowed the pool of potential shooters down to only two or three million people.
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel – Live! (On Tape Delay)
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
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That’s Not Fair! The RCMP Has A Lot More Open Cases Than Can Be Fit Into A Single Calendar!
JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police Advent Calendar!
A perfect gift for every Christian law’n’order believer in your family. In the shape of a jail cell on top of another jail cell, the RCMP Advent Calendar features 31 of the country’s most wanted criminals. Open December 2, and you’ll be greeted with the face of a murder suspect. Behind December 7, a serial rapist! Imagine the thrill on your relative’s face when they discover the latest criminal mastermind! And for your convenience, each RCMP Advent Calendar has an RCMP tip line number in large numerals at the bottom!
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police Advent Calendar: because nothing celebrates the spirit of the season as much as a reminder of all of the national police force’s current failures!
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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You Lookin’ At My Water Dish? It’s The Only Dish On The Table. You…Lookin’ At My Water Dish?
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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Oh, Yeah! Slap On That Tariff, Baby! Slap It On The Ass! Hard! This Is Why I Voted For You!
Ontario Premier Doug Ford went on this network to cry about President Trump’s plan to slap a tariff on all goods from Canada. Boo hoo. He was all “Canada does $1.3 billion of trade, more than Japan, UK and France combined” this and “Ontario alone does $500 million in two-way trade” with the US that. Wah wah wah. Those are just facts. Hasn’t Ford read the memo? We live in a post-facts world. Feelings are more important. And I feel that Canada has been playing Americans for suckers for decades – and, now that I’ve said it, you feel that, too! So, bring on the tariffs, President Trump! Canadian tears taste like desperation to be an important world player and maple syrup!
SOURCE: Jesse “Broken” Watters Primetime
[https://www.fixed.com/jesse-broken-watters-primetime/]
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Is It A Surprise To Anybody That Pigs Eat At A Trough? Like, Seriously?
Citing the need for more front-line officers in the city, the Toronto Police Service is asking for a budget increase of $46.2 million for 2025 – bringing the total cost of policing to $1.22 billion. Crown attorneys have been told to help rein in skyrocketing overtime inside the Toronto Police Services by limiting their contact with officers at a time when criminal cases are being tossed due to the slow disclosure of evidence, according to emails obtained by The Star.
“There’s all sorts of re-tasking we can do, and reform we can do. But at the end of the day, you actually need the bodies to even achieve reform. We don’t even have enough to do that,” she said. “Imagine a client’s reaction if I billed four hours for a 10-minute phone call? That’s insanity,” said defence lawyer Alison Craig. “I’m outraged as a taxpayer.”
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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Hey! Don’t Make Fun Of Jim Bacchus – He Was A Comedy God!
Pete Hegseth has denied all of the allegations of drunken behaviour and sexual assault that have dogged his nomination to be Donald Trump’s Head of the Department of Defence. To reassure the public (who mostly don’t care) and Senate Republicans (who most assuredly do care), Hegseth said he would stop drinking the moment he was sworn in.
Presumably, he would thereafter be getting all of his fluids intravenously.
When asked about cheating on his wives, he assured whoever would be assured that it was no longer a problem since he had found god. He did not mention which god he had actually found; for the sake of the country, let’s hope it wasn’t Bacchus.
SOURCE: The New York Crimes
[https://www.nycrimes.com/live/2024/12/03/national/trump-hegseth-nomination-troubled]
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