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The Daily Me Staff
Look At How Well Eight Years Of Having A “Regular Guy” As President Turned Out
The Moving Finger Points, And Having Pointed Moves On
Hillary Clinton points a finger at the elitist
Whose talk about compromise is the effetist
She pounds and she pounds and she will not relent
Even though her family’s income is in the top tenth of one per cent
She believes her elite status will disappear
Because her campaign stops at a pub and she drinks a beer
Or that, despite being educated at Wellesley and Yale,
When she was three her dad read her The Oregon Trail
How silly is her nomination bid?
John McCain points a finger at the elitist
Whose position on talking to the country’s enemies is “defeatist”
But the so-called Straight Talk Express
Has been getting an easy ride from the press
His talk about reforming campaign finance
Hides a multi-million dollar lobbyist romance
And he’s been doing some kind of strange mating dance
With the religious (and powerful) “agents of intolerance”
Who is he trying to kid?
The pundits point their collective finger at the elitist
Because…well, umm…his appearance is the neatest
They believe the slur will work best on
Viewers if they put it in the form of a question
Of course, on TV and radio you’ll never hear the facts
Behind the pundits’ multi-million dollar contracts
Their favourable access to the powerful, or the chummy club atmosphere
That keeps them immune from an ordinary person’s fear
Why do they keep the substantive campaign issues hid?
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/222.html]
Where’s John Wayne When You Need Him?
Chrysler’s lending arm has admitted a courier service it employs may have lost a data tape containing sensitive personal information about thousands of Canadian auto customers.
“We’re not sure what happened,” said Jelena Jelich, corporate communications manager for Chrysler Financial Canada. “We gave it to the Pony Express messenger as usual, and they disappeared en route. Maybe they were waylaid by Indians…”
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=50ddccd7-f6f3-4f4f-9f25-a2eb4cc6a526]
General Rick “Kill The Scumbags” Hillier Must Be Proud
“This gives us the right to kill all the homeless bums, crackheads, whores!”
– Private Brian Deganis as he thrust his military dog tags in the face of a woman who tried to stop him and another soldier from beating a homeless man to death
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
They Would Like To Avoid Exploiting Animals, But It’s Not In Their Disneynature
Walt Disney Corporation is launching Disneynature, a specialist unit to make nature documentaries, in the hopes of repeating the success of the 2005 blockbuster March of the Penguins.
The first film on Disneynature’s slate is March of the Orangutans. Future titles include: March of the Aardvarks, March of the Elephants, March of the Kangaroos, March of the Electric Eels, February of the Penguins, and, inevitably, March of the March Hares.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2008/2008/04/23/marchofthecorporateexecutives/]
It Gives The Phrase “Baby Mama” A Completely Different Meaning
Okay, so, let me see if I understand this correctly. There is a controversy over whether Sikhs should be allowed to wear turbans in the RCMP or while riding motorcycles. Some Canadians go absolutely apeshit when a young Sikh brings a kirpan, a ceremonial dagger, to high school. BUT, when the men in a Christian polygamous sect trade underage girls like baseball cards, no action can be taken because it would interfere with their “freedom of religion.”
Clearly, non-Christians are getting a raw deal. I bet if the Sikhs had sex with underage girls while driving a motorcycle wearing a turban, there would be no problem.
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
Talk About The Pot Calling The Kettle Bla – Uhh…Okay, Maybe That Wasn’t The Best Choice Of Metaphor
United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice accused Iraqi cleric Moqtada al-Sadr of being a coward for warning, from the safety of Iran, that he will declare war against the US if it doesn’t end a military crackdown on his followers. Of course, Rice supported the war on Iraq from the safety of her office in the United States, thousands of miles from the fighting…
SOURCE: The Baghdad Post
[http://www.baghdadpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2008Apr14.html]
The 911 On 420
Despite the decades long war on drugs, marijuana is the most lucrative domestic crop in the United States, generating more revenue in 2006 than corn and wheat combined. Since criminalization clearly hasn’t worked, perhaps it’s time for a new approach.
Hempanol.
Seriously, man. Think about it. If marijuana was used to produce fuel for cars, it would be taken off the market for smokers, driving up prices and driving down use. Not only that, but it would free up corn for people to actually, you know, eat.
Hempanol – it’s the fuel of the future. And, I’m not just saying that because I wanna get high on the exhaust fumes.
SOURCE: High Times and Misdemeanors
[http://www.hightimes&misdemeanors.com/ht&m/legal/content.php?bid=277&add=4&PREPOSESSID=9210a3cb91f42725db609d6925253f60]
She’s The Mary Richards Of Press Secretaries!
A crisis was narrowly averted in the White House Press Room this afternoon when Helen Thomas asked a question about the motivations for the United States going to war in Iraq. Half a dozen reporters seated near her threw themselves on Thomas, ensuring that there would be no danger of explosive fallout to Press Secretary Dana Perino.
“Phew, that was a close one,” Perino chirped.
SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/17/election/main542815.shtml]
I’m Not Suggesting That The American Government Is Treating Foreigners Like Children, But…
What’s all this I hear about the government making people give the government a finger painting when they leave the United States? How does forcing foreigners to make children’s art protect national security? Is Homeland Security planning on hiring psychiatrists to analyze the finger paintings for hidden messages about blowing up buildings? And, why finger painting? Couldn’t the government spring for oils and a proper canvas? I mean, really! Should we be so cheap when it comes to Homela – what? WHAT? Fingerprints, not finger paintings? Oh. That’s different, then.
Never mi – wait. Isn’t that worse?
SOURCE: The Emily Litella Remembered Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/EmilyRemembered]