Thank you, con Ron Roncon, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were planning on vacationing in lovely, scenic Dildo, Newfoundland; we wanted to get a picture at the town’s sign. Okay, it wasn’t exactly the Hollywood sign, but we aren’t exactly happy vacationing in the United States given its current level of COVIDness, so Dildo would have to do. (There’s a tourist slogan if we ever heard one!) If nothing else, the picture would give our grandchildren something to giggle about. Other than our neolithic ideas and lack of hair, we mean. The problem with our plan was that the town discourages people from visiting the sign, which is on private property. Were we going to let something as petty as potential trespassing charges stop us?
* SIGH * We hear Netherthong, England is nice this time of year. We should find out if they have a sign…
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Meet The New McCarthy
Same As The Old McCarthy
Republicans would like you to know that they take the issue of violence against women very seriously. They’re for it.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy was handed an oversized gavel by members of the Tennessee congressional delegation while appearing at a fundraising event in the state. Most politicians would use the opportunity to outline their agenda once they returned to power. The Republicans left the land of most politicians for the basket of deplorables years ago.
Republicans defended McCarthy, saying the remark about hitting Nancy Pelosi was only a joke and Democratic critics of the Minority Leader should buy a sense of humour. My nephew Mordecai agrees. My nephew Mordecai is six years old. He still doesn’t understand why he was sent to his room for joking about pushing Becky Pfinster into the mud.
Ooh, that nasty Becky Pfinster!
The “joke” might have been funnier if an angry mob of Donald Trump supporters hadn’t broken into the Capitol building on January 6 looking specifically for Nancy Pelosi. They were not looking for the Speaker to exchange recipes with her. They were not looking for the Speaker to dish about the latest season of Supergirl. Just ask any Capitol police officer who was on duty that day – they’ll be able to tell you what the mob was after.
A joke? It is to laugh. Of course, in the Basket of Deplorables, laughter often dies before it has even left the audience’s throat…
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
A Nation Of Veg-O-Matic Users Is In Mourning
Want a case of pneumonia? You can die of pneumonia. But that’s not all! I will throw in a heart condition! Pneumonia and a heart condition, all for one low, low price! Why? Because Ron Popeil, the self-proclaimed salesman of the century, wouldn’t die at the age 86 of anything less than multiple causes! Look at the exquisite craftsmanship of the Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre where he died! How much would you pay for such a death?
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
Children Need To Wear Masks
I Mean, Only Unvaccinated Children Need To Wear Masks
No, No Children Need To Wear Masks, But Teachers Do
No, Sorry, Only Unvaccinated Teachers Need To –
Umm, Can We Get Back To You On This?
“What’s the plan for safe schools?”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1476533037]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
Band Apartheid
According to Human Rights Watch, both the [CENSORED] government and Palestinian extremist groups such as Hamas have committed war crimes in regard to the Gaza Strip. [CENSORED] airstrikes killed 62 Palestinian civilians with no evident military targets in the vicinity, while Palestinians launching thousands of unguided missiles at the state of [CENSORED] violates the prohibition against deliberate or indiscriminate attacks on civilians.
“The coverage in North American media of the [CENSORED]-Palestinian conflict appears not to be entirely objective,” said Tzvi Tzippori, a representative of the advocacy group Just Solutions to the [CENSORED]-Palestinian Conflict. “I can’t quite put my finger on what the problem is, but something just doesn’t feel right…”
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
Although There Might Be Something Fawlty With My Thinking
John Cleese was forced to use Twitter to find a place to stay in Huntsville, Ontario while he was shooting a movie there because of a mix-up by Airbnb.
I wish I had known. I would have gladly moved my house from Toronto to give the Monty Python star a place to stay! It’s only three stories – if we moved it one floor at a time, how difficult could it be?
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
more
I Know The Emoji Originally Had A Different Meaning, But A Billion Inner Five Year-old Boys Can’t Be Wrong
Even people who want a little harmless entertainment have to settle:
YOU WANT: a large balloon in the shape of Baby Trump to fly over your city.
YOU’LL SETTLE FOR: a large balloon in the shape of Vincent van Gogh’s head flying over your city.
YOU’LL GET: a large balloon in the shape of the poop emoji flying over your city.
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
Way To Bigfoot Honest Movie Criticism!
Bigfoot Family is a fun romp for children featuring a man who turned into a sasquatch and a talking bear and raccoon. Even though it is nothing but anti-oil industry propaganda!
Umm, yes, well, the 3-D animation is charming, and will surely engage children. But allowing them to watch such blatant anti-oil industry propaganda is nothing less than blatant child abuse!
Umm, no. Bigfoot Family‘s message of environmental responsibility is important for children to hear in times of extreme weather conditions. No! No! No! No! No! This is anti-oil industry brainwashing! This vicious depiction of oil industry executives ignores the oil industry’s commitment to environmental stewardship!
Umm, why are you interrupting my movie review? I am the Canadian Energy Centre. The government of Alberta has given me the task of stamping out anti-oil industry propaganda wherever I see it. And, I see it here!
Oh. Well, umm, I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of the government of Alberta. Would it…would it be okay if I reviewed Paddington 2? Knock yourself out.
Okay, then. In – Although, now that I look at it more closely…
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0178350/]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/