Thank you, Broker This Nomination, Pal!, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were burning out on news from Gaza, so we decided to binge watch the new season of Dr. Who to distract ourselves from it. The actor with the unpronounceable name is delightful – he’s no downer Doctor! – and his companion is fun. Singing! Dancing! This is exactly what we – then, we heard that Israel had killed over 200 Palestinians in a single raid. La la la la la – can’t hear you! Ooh – space babies! They’re adorable! And kind of gross. Still, over 200 Palestinians were killed in a mission to release four Israeli hostages. That…that…that…is that John Lennon? Whoa – is this an episode about The Beatles? Only the best band ever, mate! The death toll is likely to rise as bodies are found in the rubble. No! Doctor! Don’t step on that land mi – land mine? War? We…we can’t get away from it, can we? * SIGH * What horrible thing has Israel done now?
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
You Used “Samuel Alito” And “Justice” In The Same Sentence? I’m Surprised The Word Didn’t Curl Up And Die On The Page!
Samuel Alito has recused himself! This is not a hoax! Samuel Alito has not refused himself. He has not defused himself, and he has certainly not deboozed himself. Samuel Alito has recused himself! This is not a drill! REPEAT: This is not a drill! This is real!
Of course, he recused himself in the case of United States Government v Bumfucke Nobodie, a lawsuit so minor it was a Trivial Pursuit question a decade before the case was brought! Still, Samuel Alito has recused himself! It proves that he can do it. The fact that he doesn’t do it for cases that actually matter – well, now that Justice Alito has shown he understands the principle, it’s only a matter of time before he does.
Unless he’s using this recusal to thumb his nose at the public, rubbing our face in the fact that he can recuse for important cases, but he doesn’t. But, uhh, Samuel Alito has recused himself.
Yay?
SOURCE: The Legal Unintelligibler
[https://www.law.com/thelegalUnintelligibler/2022/06/21/alito-has-not-infused-himself-unless-you-count-the-scent-of-corruption/]
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Hate In Plain Sight
The Israeli military has bombed a school in northern Gaza run by the United Nations, killing at least 33 people, including 12 women and children.
“Well, you know, there were Hamas leaders in the school,” said a senior Israeli military commander. “Probably. I mean, they’re everywhere. And nowhere. All at the same time. And anyway, even if there weren’t leaders, there were definitely Hamas soldiers. It’s the whole everywhere/nowhere thing. Look at it from a military point of view: any building could be used as a base of operations for Hamas, so we must assume that every building is being used as a base of operations for Hamas. Sorry for your luck.”
They’re not even trying to hide it any more!
SOURCE: The Arad Post
[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1251592370228]
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Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Silently
Eight Republican senators say they will not cooperate with any Democratic congressional business, including moving forward nominations for federal judges, in retaliation for a New York jury finding Donald Trump guilty on 34 counts of falsifying business records to hide hush money payments to a sex worker. How is this different from previous Republican lack of support for Democratic initiatives?
“We’ve added revenge to malice and partisanship as our rationale,” explained Senator Mike Lee, who leads the group. “I think it gives us a much more balanced approach…”
SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2024/06/03/national/main542815.shtml]
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There’s No Vaccine For Racism
Although The People Who Need It Most Would Be The Least Likely To Take It…
“You’re bringing your problems from everywhere else in the world, you’re bringing them to Ontario and you’re going after other Canadians.”
– Premier Doug Ford’s response to news that a Jewish girl’s school had been hit by bullets in the middle of the night by unidentified gunmen, given at the opening of a vaccine manufacturing plant
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina (I Can Cry Well Enough For Myself)
1 sad sumbitch) Alex Jones cried on his Info Wars podcast. Blubbered like a baby. A baby whale, actually – it was a sight you really don’t want small children to see. Or, large children. Or, adults. What caused him to turn on the waterworks?
a) he was stricken with grief over the number of people who died unnecessarily because he was a COVID denier and fervent anti-vaxer
b) he was grief-stricken by all of the suffering that he put the families of victims of the Sandy Hook mass shooting through by claiming it was a hoax and encouraging his viewers to harass them
c) he was inconsolably distraught by the fact that Info Wars was to be liquidated as part of the $1.4 billion award to the families of victims of the Sandy Hook mass shooting for the suffering he caused them by claiming it was a hoax and encouraging his viewers to harass them
2 pathetic for words) That joyous scamp Steve Bannon has been ordered to appear at prison on July 1st in order to start his four month sentence for defying a Congressional subpoena. If he shows up and if he actually serves out his sentence, what will be the name of the album he will record in prison?
a) I Will Survive
b) We’re Not Gonna Take It
c) I Got Those Smash the Administrative State by Any Means Necessary Because I Thrive on Chaos (And I Have The Income From My Followers to Prove It) And I Don’t Care How Much It Will Make Other People Suffer Because, At Heart, I’m A Narcissistic Sociopath Blues, Mama
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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What Do You Want For That? A Med – Oh, Hell…
According to the Gaza Health Ministry, the number of women and children killed in Israeli attacks has gone down. At the beginning of the war, it was 60 per cent; for the month of April, it was 40 per cent.
“The Gaza Health Ministry is a Hamas disinformation campaign,” said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “But even a clock vaporized in a bombing raid is right twice a day.”
Israeli Minister of National Security Itamar Ben-Gvir gleefully responded to the report: “Where do I go to get my medal? I want a medal!”
SOURCE: The Baghdad Post
[http://www.baghdadpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2024Jun09.html]
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