Thank you, Bela Legolas, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we discovered that there were more Christian Zionists living in the United States (30 million) than there are Jews in the entire world (16 million); in fact, Christian Zionists outnumber Jewish Zionist by 30 to one. And we realized that people have got this all wrong: being anti-Zionist isn’t antisemitic, it’s anti-Christian!
But it gets worse. Why are so many Christians Zionists? The Book of Revelations, baby! They believe that the End TimesTM will only happen when all of the Jews in the world are living in Israel, at which point they will either be converted to Christianity or killed. Converted or killed. Converted. Or killed. Continuing to live as Jews is not on the menu. Being converted or killed is. Jewish Zionists have it all wrong: Muslims aren’t the primary source of a hypothetical “Jewish genocide.” Christians are.
But you try and tell that to Bibi Netanyahu…!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Somebody Should Get The Justice Some Visine!
The Supreme Court has unanimously rejected a lawsuit against the American Food and Drug Administration for its regulation allowing the abortion drug mifepristone to be sold by mail.
For the majority, Justice Brett Kavanaugh wrote, “We find that plaintiffs do not have standing to bring this complaint. Wink wink. If only the plaintiffs had more of a direct stake in the outcome of this case, it may have been worth considering at greater length. Sigh. But they didn’t. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. So, until such time as there is a plaintiff with proper standing, we rule against the plaintiff. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!”
In a minority dissent, Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote, “Why do I have the feeling this is not going to be the last word on this issue?”
SOURCE: The Legal Unintelligibler
[https://www.law.com/thelegalUnintelligibler/2024/06/14/kavanaugh-off-your-own-nose-to-spite-your-face/]
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Fix All Your Political Problems With A Snap
Macron the Outs With Voters
Halfway through your legislative mandate
Your party has become the one people love to hate
More and more citizens are becoming more and more irate
Making you worry they’re going to vote for somebody else’s slate
Your popularity is tanking and you’re facing defections?
There’s only one thing to do: call a snap election!
The theory is that you’ll catch the opposition unawares
It’s a Hail Mary with the hope someone will answer your prayers
But all you’re doing, really, is rearranging deck chairs
And giving in to momentary despair
When you’re afraid that your party is facing rejection
Does it really make sense to call a snap election?
My duty as a political poet I would shirk
If I didn’t point out that they rarely work
On the faces of the opposition, you should acknowledge the evil smirk
It’s telling you not to allow your knee to jerk
People don’t vote for a political resurrection
Avoid the impulse to call a snap election
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/911.html]
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It’s Definitely A Business Case, One That Will Be Studied In Economics Classes For Decades To Come
According to recently released information, the government of Ontario paid consultants almost one million dollars to create a business case to justify building a private spa at Ontario Place. Stripped of its fancy letterhead and title page, the report contained a single sentence on a single page: “Because Premier Ford wants to.”
That amounts to just under $200,000 a word. If I had been paid that much as a journalist, I would be agitating against a capital gains tax, too!
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=37ddccd7-f6f3-4f4f-9f14-a2eb4cc6a417]
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ALERT: Hurricane Force Spin Warning In Effect
Israel has agreed to a peace agreement brokered by the United States that would see all of the hostages returned by Hamas and an end to the fighting and the beginning of a path to Palestinian statehood. The United States is now putting pressure on Hamas to agree to the deal.
Hamas leaders say that they are seriously considering the proposal, but then they insist upon ridiculous demands. The latest is a guarantee that, if they agree to the proposal, Israel will abide by all of its conditions.
As a pretext for this demand, leaders of Hamas point to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s public statement that Israel had not, in fact, agreed to any such proposal, and that the country would never stop in its goal of eliminating Hamas. At least, Prime Minister Netanyahu’s lips were moving, but it was Minister of Security Itamar Ben-Gvir’s voice that came out.
American Secretary of State Anthony Blinken said he was disappointed in Hamas’ position. “It would seem that Hamas will take every opportunity to miss making peace,” he commented. “But we will continue talking and I hope that they will eventually agree to what is obviously in their best interests.”
SOURCE: The New York Crimes
[https://www.nycrimes.com/live/2024/06/15/middleeast/israel-gaza-war-hamas]
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Please Don’t
Canada’s five major banks are pushing back on claims that their investments in oil and gas companies are hurting the environment.
“We are fully committed to an orderly transition to a new energy economy in accord with our primary mission statement as facilitated by the best science money can buy,” stated RBC Chief Executive Dave McKay. “Impactful action must be sustainable over the long term in order to effectuate positive outcome positions.”
So, the banks won’t do anything that could hurt their bottom lines?
“Do I need to repeat myself?” McKay asked.
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.2024061S2.eladvote0102_@/BNStory/newsOops2024/]
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If The News Day Was Any Slower, It Would Be Moving Backwards In Time!
Four reporters try to beat the lunch rush at Toronto’s newest, and buzziest, food hall”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1347207638]
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The Call Is Coming From Inside The House…Of Commons!
Given ongoing questions about foreign interference in elections, should foreign governments continue to be allowed to sponsor (read: pay for) overseas trips by Canadian Members of Parliament?
“I wouldn’t read too much into it,” said MP Gregory Gregoire, on the phone from New Delhi, where he was a guest of the Indian government. “These trips can be very educa – oh, yes, the steak was superb, thank you. I’m going to have to run if I’m going to make my three o-clock massage appointment. The bill has been taken care of, hasn’t – great. Thanks – I always learn a lot on these trips. They are very educational!”
SOURCE: Mike’s Ultimate Conspiracy Page