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When A Waiter Asked Him What He Wanted For Lunch, Poilievre Told Him: “I’m Not A Haitian Immigrant, So I DON’T Want Anything With Cat Or Dog In It.”
The Man Is Clearly On A Mission!
When asked if he would cut social programs if he was elected Prime Minister, Pierre Poilievre replied, “I will make sure Haitian immigrants aren’t eating Canadians’ cats and dogs.”
When asked what he would replace the fee on carbon consumption to fight global climate change with, Poilievre responded, “The issue of most concern to Canadians right now is stopping Haitian immigrants from coming to this country and eating our cats and dogs. And geese. For some reason, they eat our geese.”
When asked if he was injecting American political tactics into Canadian politics, Poilievre answered, “Are they having problems with Haitian immigrants eating cats and dogs and sometimes geese in the US? That just shows you how extensive the problem of Haitian immigrants eating our pets is!”
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2009/06/23/csis&desist090623]
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Between Aspiration And Achievement, There Is Always Lucy
SOURCE: Political Appropriation Comix
[https://PolAppCo.commie/new/07438]
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War Is Not As Much Fun When The Shoe Is On The Other (Disembodied) Foot, Is It?
The revelation that Iran is supplying Russia with weapons to prosecute its war in Ukraine has shocked many Russians. Time was when Iran was a Russian proxy in the Middle East; now the roles seem to be reversed. The Russian press has taken notice:
QUESTION: How does it feel to have gone from being being the puppet master to being the proxy?
PUTIN: I would not say that is what happened.
QUESTION: No, of course you wouldn’t. But that’s the way it appears.
PUTIN: Appearances can be deceiving.
QUESTION: China has also supplied Russia with weapons. How do you feel about being a tool for their global ambitions?
PUTIN: This grows tiresome. Would somebody please poison this person?
SOURCE: Demi-TASS
[http://en.demi-tass.com/russia/744378]
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Business Needs Prevailing Over The Needs Of The Arts Community? I Could Write A Book…
The Business Council of Canada, a lobby group that everybody has heard of, has called on the Canadian government to end the digital services tax for fear that it could hurt the country’s relationship with the United States.
The Arts Council of Canada, a lobby group that nobody has heard of, muttered to itself, “We’re going to get it in the neck, again, aren’t we?”
“Not necessarily! the Business Council of Canada responded. “The government could always make up the shortfall with a subsidy program.”
“But you oppose all government subsidy programs!” the Arts Council of Canada objected.
“It is a conundrum,” the Business Council of Canada smirked.
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49ddccd2-f0f8-6f5f-6f25-a3eb7cc6a528]
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When Somebody Shows You What Their Weapons Are, Believe Them
An Israeli strike against a tent camp in Gaza has killed at least 19 Palestinians and injured at least 60. Israel claimed the strike targeted senior Hamas militants with precise munitions.
“The fact that we are still willing to lie about the purpose and precision of our attack,” the Israeli military commented, “should show the west how serious we are about our humanitarian commitments.”
SOURCE: The Arad Post
[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1067751512]
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Changes In Selling Patterns No Small Beer
INT. GREAT WHITE NORTH SET – DAY
BOB and DOUG are sitting in their chairs.
BOB: G’day. Welcome to The Great White North. I’m Bob Mackenzie and this is my brother Doug…
DOUG: G’day, eh?
BOB: Today we’re gonna talk about our favourite thing in the world.
DOUG: Geddy Lee.
Bob stops, looking like his brain has short-circuited.
DOUG: Do you need your thinking toque?
BOB: Aww, take off, you hoser! (beat) Okay, today we’re gonna talk about one of our favourite things in the world: beer.
DOUG: (nodding) Beer is the best.
BOB: I know, right? Some people are complaining that beer in corner stores is, like, bad for people.
DOUG: Hosers.
BOB: Total hosers, eh! Like, our uncle Larry once broke his foot kicking a zamboni. And he had what the doctors called “limited motility.”
DOUG: Sounds like something a lawyer would say.
BOB: Naah! You’re thinking of limited morality. So, like, this was before beer was sold in corner stores and he, like, had to walk three blocks to the nearest beer store.
DOUG: It was…a tragedy.
BOB: Yeah! He was a regular King Norman Lear. But now with the convenience store on the next block selling beer, uncle Larry can send his son Phil to pick up his beer for him!
DOUG: (sniffs) I…love a story with a happy ending.
BOB: So, like, before you criticize beer being sold in corner stores, walk a mile in uncle Larry’s toque.
DOUG: Cause he isn’t able to! (snickers)
BOB: Aww, take off, ya hoser!
Doug rises.
BOB: Aww, where you goin’?
DOUG: To the corner store to get some…supplies. Household supplies.
Doug walks off set. Bob looks around, uncertain of what to do. He jumps out of his seat.
BOB: Wait for me, ya hoser!
Bob runs off set.
BOB: (off) Don’t drink all the beer before I get there, eh!
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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Ms. Smith Goes To Hell
How badly did the recent wildfire devastate Jasper, Alberta?
Premier Danielle Smith claimed it was no more than a rounding error on an insurance company’s annual tax return. “We mustn’t give in to climate change fear-mongering,” she said. “If twigs are good enough for birds to make homes out of, it’s good enough for hardy Albertans!”
According to long-time Jasper resident Guido Yakamoto, “I looked at the shells of burnt out buildings and all of the rubble and garbage on the streets, and I thought to myself, This is some Gaza level destruction going on right here!“
SOURCE: Festerin’ Report
[http://www.ax2grindnet.com/festerinreport/web/feature222222222222-222222.html]
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