Thank you, An Ardern Fan, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, brrrrrr, it’s cold! To augment the furnace, we started a fire in the fireplace. On the recommendation of the Wentzville, Missouri School Board, we used Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye as kindling. Unfortunately, it quickly burned up without appreciably flame oning the logs. Then, we tried The Queer Bible; if it was good enough for Ridgeland, Mississippi Mayor Gene McGee to burn, it’s good enough for us! Only, it wasn’t. The book burned just fine, but it actually smothered the small flames that the first book had produced. Cold and desperate, we tried on more time: the Williamson County, Tennessee Schools committee assured us that we would like the results of burning Walk Two Moons. We didn’t.
We’re going back to our fireplace kindling standbys: wood chips, newspapers and old cow poop. And after this experience we will never trust state and local governments again!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Fight For Your Right To Party, European Edition
Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister of New Zealand, has postponed her wedding ceremony because of a spike in COVID cases in her country. This was a great disappointment to British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who had been planning to throw a lavish party at Number 10 in her honour.
SOURCE: The Smarmian
[http://www.thesmarmian.com/world/2022/jan/22/arderned-respect]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
Old English Text MC Is The Most Deliquescent Gothic Type Face
Some Supreme Court Justices have spoken out in public to defend the institution against criticism that it had stopped being an impartial arbiter of the law and had become a highly partisan, highly political body. This argument would probably have gone over better if Justice Brett Kavanaugh hadn’t gone on a weekend bender and woken up Monday morning with “Partisan Hack,” tattooed across his forehead in Old English Text MC. Yeah, it didn’t help that Justice Samuel Alito started a thread on Instagram with the subject heading: “RBG is my bitch.”
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel – Live! (On Tape Delay)
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
Sadly, That’s What Happens When You Work For Peanuts
Peter Robbins, the original voice of Charlie Brown in such Peanuts specials as A Charlie Brown Christmas and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, has killed himself at the age of 65 after a long battle with depression. This just goes to prove once again that there is no such thing as good grief.
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
Rockin’ In The Free World Has A Cost
Neil Young posted a public letter demanding that Spotify choose between carrying his music or a podcast by Joe Rogan, who has been spreading disinformation about the coronavirus and vaccines. The good news is that you can get Young’s music in a lot of other places…
SOURCE: LotsMusic
[http://www.lotsmusic.com/news/?thedate=1/24/2022.htm#1]
https://lespagesauxfolles.ca/article/
You, Uhh, Do Know That She Was Betrayed And Died In A Concentration Camp, Don’t You?
When You’re Finished Working On Your Morality, You Might Want To Work On How You Construct Metaphors
You may believe that deplorableness is a quality unique to the fringe right (what, more recently, has come to be referred to as the far right, or, even more recently, as the right). You probably also believe that Santa Claus is a Communist agent provocateur in a jolly wolly fat suit. In fact, deplorableness is a mental state that knows no politics.
Consider the case of Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, who made this statement in the middle of a discussion of his 1962 visit to East Germany with his father, the former attorney general, where he met people that escaped the Nazi regime. There you are, cruising along in your life, getting by on good looks and your family’s leftie political connections, when the deplorable gets its hooks into your mouth and refuses to let go.
Ouch.
If nothing else, Junior’s statement is a colossal failure of imagination. There’s nothing stopping him from crossing the 38th parallel into Canada. Except, you know, it being Canada. And what? – they don’t build houses with attics in the United States any more? Junior could afford to outfit his attic with a Peleton, a wide screen TV and a mini-bar. If he wanted the real Anne Frank experience, he could always ask UberEats to deliver his dinner to the attic only when the coast is clear.
Clear of what, exactly? Not sharing an atticless house in the basket of deplorables with Junior, it’s hard for me to say. But I’m sure it’s something scary.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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I Try Not To Resort To Juvenile Name Calling, But Sometimes You Have To Contribute To A Discussion At Your Opponent’s Level Of Intellectual Discourse
The Convoy of Creatures, Cretins and Convalescent Cases, which started in British Columbia and was making its way across the country to Ottawa, entered Ontario yesterday. When the truckers protesting a vaccine mandate to travel across the border to the United States arrived in Toronto, they were given the city’s typical warm welcome: they were stopped for a broken taillight and interrogated for 20 minutes before being taken to 52 Division, where the next day they were inexplicably found dead at the bottom of a staircase.
The fact that there were 297 of them filling the hall at the bottom of the staircase made it hard to believe their deaths were entirely accidental.
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=357085]
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But There Will Be The 20 Day Synchronized Press Release Relay, So That’s Okay
“The Intimidation Games
It seems unlikely there will be room for protest, or even criticism, at these Olympics”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1576355058]
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Fight For Your Right Party, American Edition
Republican Senator Joni Ernst has expressed concern about Russian President Vladimir Putin amassing troops along the border with neighbouring Ukraine, a move many believe is the prelude to an invasion.
“We do need to fight for democracy,” Ernst said. This is the same Joni Ernst who voted against Democratic attempts to pass legislation that would preserve voting rights, a fundamental part of democracy, in the United States.
The Absurd Ironyometer would consider renouncing its American citizenship in protest; unfortunately, as an inanimate object, it doesn’t have citizenship in any country. Figuring this symbolic gesture wouldn’t make much difference, the Absurd Ironyometer decided it wouldn’t be worth the death threats and hate mail.
SOURCE: Big Alex’ Domesday Countdown Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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