Thank you, Adalard Musto, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we heard about a bar in London that was experimenting with creating an atmosphere were you could literally breath booze. Literally. Breath. Booze. It uses a humidifier to pump gin and tonic vapour into an enclosed space. You get intoxicated much more quickly because the alcohol, which soaks into your skin and eyes as well as being breathed in, bypasses your liver and goes directly to your brain. This is a terrible idea! With traditional drinking, lifting our steins to our mouths was the only exercise we ever got!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
You Never Do With This Government
Canadians have no right to travel to regions of the world controlled by terrorist groups, Conservative leader Stephen Harper said as he pledged a legal crackdown on what he called “terror tourism.”
Harper didn’t mention specific places. However, sources within the PMO said that he was considering Calgary, home to the Aryan Guard, and Alabama, home to a whole mess of white supremacist crazies.
“I did not see that one coming,” responded NDP leader Thomas Mulcair.
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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It’ll Be Christmas In November
Don’t know what to get your daughter this holiday season? Why not consider the Elect Hilary doll? It comes wearing a track suit and sneakers, the better to run in, but you can buy additional outfits for her, including: Tough Beyotch Hilary (severe business suit to go with a tough negotiating style); Regular Gal Hilary (a pretty pink dress and sensible shoes; the only thing missing is a straw in her mouth as she sits at the diner counter and sympathetically listens to you talking about how high taxes have inflamed your Aunt Gertie’s Phlebotomy), and; Fundraising Hilary (business casual for those casual encounters with businessmen).
If think the number of costumes is limited, worry not: there’s plenty of time for Hilary to add more to the collection!
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/671114/geeklynews/01paddyclarkehahaha.htm]
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Then There’s Implausible Deniability…
INT. DOGWOOD INITIATIVE – DAY
Executive Director WILL HORTER is talking to JOSH PATTERSON, executive director of the B.C. Civil Liberties Association.
HORTER: Okay, what can you tell me about the hearing?
PATTERSON: Nothing.
HORTER: What?
PATTERSON: Nothing.
HORTER: You can’t tell me anything about the hearing?
PATTERSON: Nothing.
HORTER: You did attend the hearing of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service watchdog, did you not?
PATTERSON: I can’t answer that question.
HORTER: What?
PATTERSON: But, given our conversations prior to the hearings, I think you can reasonably infer that I did. You just didn’t hear it from me.
HORTER: Okay. Good. So, was there any discussion of the possibility that CSIS was spying on environmental groups that were not in any way involved in criminal activity?
PATTERSON: I cannot describe anything that took place in that room.
HORTER: Is there any truth to reports that CSIS illegally shared information with the National Energy Board?
PATTERSON: I cannot describe anything that took place in that room.
HORTER: Did members of the committee order out for lunch, or just cannibalize each other?
PATTERSON: As to that question, I think I can say…
HORTER: Yes?
PATTERSON: Lunch was delicious. Other than that, I cannot describe anything that took place in that room.
PAUSE.
HORTER: Is there anything you can tell me about the CSIS hearings?
PATTERSON: You know your freedom of speech and assembly?
HORTER: Yes?
PATTERSON: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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No, Jennifer, You Really Don’t
Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
We went to see a movie the other night, and who should be there but Henry Cavill! Yeah! The new Superman! He was in town to promote the premier of The Man From UNCLE, in which he stars with…umm…some other guy. I’m sure I’d remember his name if I could just see his face. Anyway, there was a red carpet and lots of people with cameras and Henry – I can call him Henry because I was standing on the same street as he was, breathing the same air – was there signing autographs! Henry Freaking Cavill!
We were actually at the theatre to see The Fantastic Four, but, to be honest with you, I was so caught up in the whole Henry Cavill thing that the movie didn’t have my complete attention. To be honest, it looked really boring, but I was distracted so I think I may have to try watching it again.
SOURCE: Jennifer’s Brain Blorts
[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
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You Can Be Sure THEY’LL Make A Lot Out Of It!
Joining a fascist political party could do more for someone’s “sustained happiness” than other forms of social participation, suggests a study by researchers at the London School of Economics and Erasmus University Medical Centre in the Netherlands.
“Personal choice seems to make people’s lives more stressful,” explained Mauricio Avendano, an epidermiologist and author of the study. “Joining a white supremacist group gives people certainty about their place in the world and a sense of purpose; as a result, they are happier than the average person. Make of this what you will…”
SOURCE: Bigots Without Borders
[http://www.bigotswithoutborders.org/]
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A Politician Is Somebody Who Knows The Cost Of Everything But The Bulworth Of Nothing
To have a Bulworth moment (verb phrase): to receive public censure or ridicule for speaking the truth, especially a truth which makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Most often used to refer to politicians, although it could theoretically be applied to any public figure. EXAMPLE: When Linda McQuiag said on CBC-TV that “A lot of oilsands oil may have to stay in the ground if we’re going to meet our climate change targets,” she was having a Bulworth moment. ANTONYM: to make a political speech.
SOURCE: Michelle’s Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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They’ll Be Kept Right Next To The Shark Tank Where The Accountants Live
A Toronto couple has asked for help in relocating 150 crocodiles, alligators and other cold-blooded animals that they had accumulated and illegally kept in their home over the years.
Roughly half of the animals will find homes in zoos around the province. The other half will find a home in the Prime Minister’s Office.
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=1978384]
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