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The Conservative Playing the Ref to Gain Media Advantage Algorithm

1 Do conservative opinions dominate the media?
YES 2 Good job! Still, you must keep monitoring and analyzing media content – wouldn’t want any backsliding!
NO 3 Are we talking print or electronic media?
PRINT 4 Do conservative voices dominate print media?
YES GO TO 1
NO 5 Is ownership of newspapers and newsmagazines the issue?
YES 6 Buy existing newspapers and newsmagazines where it is feasible to do so; establish your own where it is not.
NO 7 Have conservative think tanks release papers using dubious statistics to claim that there is a liberal bias in print media. Have pundits in the conservative media echo chamber repeat the conclusions of these papers until they rise to the level of an accepted truth.
8 Are liberal newspapers and newsmagazines adding conservatives to their editorial boards and columnist rosters?
YES GO TO 4
NO GO TO 7
ELECTRONIC 9 Television or Internet?
TV 10 Do conservative voices dominate television news and information programming?
YES GO TO 1
NO 11 Is ownership of television stations and networks the issue?
YES 12 Buy existing television stations and networks where it is feasible to do so; establish your own where it is not.
13 Do government regulatory bodies bleat about the concentration of ownership of the media in conservative hands and threaten to do something about it?
YES 14 Have pundits in the conservative echo chamber claim that the regulatory bodies are stacked with liberals and are, therefore, biased against conservatives, whose ideas and opinions they are clearly trying to stifle. Behind the scenes, suggest that friends in the legislature appoint more conservatives to the regulatory bodies.
NO GO TO 10
15 Are conservatives able to forestall any government action that could adversely affect their econo-political media objectives?
YES GO TO 10
NO GO TO 14
NO 16 Have conservative think tanks release papers using dubious statistics to claim that there is a liberal bias in television news and public affairs programming. Have pundits in the conservative media echo chamber repeat the conclusions of these papers until they rise to the level of an accepted truth.
17 Do TV news and information programmes add more conservative reporters, commentator/pundits, editors and executives?
YES GO TO 10
NO GO TO 16
INTERNET 18 Do conservatives voices dominate the Internet?
YES GO TO 1
NO 19 Have conservative think tanks release papers using dubious statistics to claim that there is a liberal bias in the Internet. Have pundits in the conservative media echo chamber repeat the conclusions of these papers until they rise to the attention of online commentators. How badly are you derided for making such claims about the Internet, which is one of the most widespread and diverse communications systems in human history?
EXTREMELY GO TO 20
VERY, VERY GO TO 20
20 Reconsider your tactics. Look for a prominent Web site and have conservative think tanks release papers using dubious statistics to claim that there is a liberal bias in it. Have pundits in the conservative echo chamber repeat the conclusions of these papers until they rise to the level of an accepted truth.
21 Does the Web site appear to be intimidated by your charges?
YES 22 Does the creator of the Web site announce that it will be reviewing and revamping its policies in order to ensure that it does not have an anti-conservative bias?
YES GO TO 18
NO 23 Have conservative trolls attack the Web site in its comment sections, as well as anywhere else on the Internet the trolls bloviate. GO TO 22
NO 24 The Web site’s creator says, in essence, “Umm, yeah. We have a liberal bias. We’re liberals who are exercising our right to free speech. Thanks for pointing this out. Don’t let the virtual door hit you on the ass on your way out.” Have conservative trolls attack the Web site in its comment sections, as well as anywhere else on the Internet the trolls bloviate. GO TO 18

Notes

The Conservative Playing the Ref to Gain Media Advantage Algorithm was based on a survey of behaviours by right-wing politicians, pundits, academics, corporate leaders and comedians (admittedly, we had to look far and wide for statistically significant numbers of members of this last group). As with previous algorithms, it is descriptive rather than proscriptive (which, loosely translated into Dummyese means that it attempts to show what exists rather than what we believe should exist).

In other words, if you don’t like The Conservative Playing the Ref to Gain Media Advantage Algorithm, don’t blame us! We expect to be bought out any day now…

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