Reaction to Zen and the Art of International Politics:
“I like going into bookstores and looking at all the books, even ones by Sidney Sheldon. I used to think, Wouldn’t it be great if I could have a volume of my own writing sold among all those works! Now, I do. At least, I’m told I do. I can’t seem to find it. I have a feeling that they put it in the Canadiana section – I had my publisher warn them not to do that! Put it in the Arcane Medical Devices section, or the Medieval Architectural Philosophy section, or event, if absolutely necessary, with the self-help books. Wherever it was to be displayed, it must not go in the Canadian section. They may as well have consigned me to a lifetime of Midnight Star contributions! Success – you gotta love it…”
Ira Nayman, author
“Ira Nayman? Author of Zen and the Art of International Politics? Are you kidding? The man is an idiot – he thought The Last Spike was a vampire story, for crying out loud!”
Pierre Burton, author
“I think Mr. Nayman tries too hard.”
Margaret Laurence, author
“I was really impressed with the Index. It was really quite a mature work for a first Index, full of verve, wit and copious amounts of page numbers. There was even an attempt at cross-referencing, which is rare among young authors, who usually fail spectacularly at it. If I have a complaint about this Index, it is the book to which it is attached, which is far too long…”
Peter C. Newman, author
“Well, I hated it, and I’m outspoken enough to admit it. This writer is obviously a left-lib, Pinko, subversive, pseudo-intellectual, America-hating, smug, anti-Conservative, anti-progressive, anti-status quo, snobbish, anti-common sense, anti-intellectual little twerp with an ego problem. Besides, I didn’t get any of the ‘jokes.'”
Barbara “Babs” Amiel, journalist
“Zen and the Art of International Politics? Never heard of it. Who? Iran…I…Ir…Ira Nayman? That’s not a very literary sounding name, is it? No wonder I’ve never – what? I’m mentioned in the book? Umm…where can I get a copy?
Pierre Juneau, President, CBC
“It’s a pretty good book. I…I skipped some of the boring parts. You know, the political stuff…but, I liked what I read…”
Lisa Nayman, sister
“Not quite as good as my latest book, The Morningside Papers ($14.95 in trade paperback from McClelland and Stewart), which, as you are undoubtedly aware, was based on my CBC series and was reviewed favourably in the local papers, but…it…umm, what were we talking about again?”
Peter Gzowski, TV and radio personality
“Eh! I’m a writer now! Why doesn’t anybody ask me for my opinion about this book? Eh? Eh? Eh?”
Rene Levesque, politician and author
“What a sad waste of trees!”
David Suzuki, scientist, teacher
“A new Toronto writer? Sorry, not interested.”
Edmonton Journal
“Yes, I…have read the book. While I…found parts of it fitfully amusing, I…would caution potential readers not to take it seriously. Politics is a complex thing, full of complicated and often unanticipated relationships, as I…have found. I…wouldn’t say that it’s a bad book, I…’m simply not prepared to say it’s a good book.”
Brian Mulroney, Prime Minister
“I was not amused.”
God (as told to Jimmy Swaggart)
“I am not high. Not at the moment, anyway.”
Geddy Lee, musician
“I’ll bet he doesn’t even own a three piece suit!”
William French, journalist
“Yes, I do. So, there.”
Ira Nayman, again
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t read the book, and I don’t have anything especially cogent to say. No, I’m sorry…please, I have no comment. I said, I have nothing to say. Now, please, take that microphone away from my face!”
John Robert Colombo, author
“It’s difficult to do a hard-hitting, down-and-dirty, Sixty Minutes-style interview with a book, but, as soon as we figure out how to do it, technically, I mean, we’ll have Zen and the Art of International Politics featured on The Journal. Until then…”
Barbara Frum, TV journalist
“I liked the references to cows.”
Jane Siberry, musician
“…not exactly my idea of humour. If I were him, I would settle down, marry, have a family, take out a mortgage on a house. From this perspective, I think he might be able to write funnier, more pertinent stories. But…he’s still not getting a job at The Star.”
Gary Lautens, columnist
“It is fashionable for journalists, and other…writers, to take potshots at multinational capitalism…unfairly, I believe. Rarely does a writer extol the virtues of multinational capitalism, and there are many. Capitalists are seen as a group of individuals excessively concerned with profits. I know I am, and, actually, all of my friends and acquaintances are, but this does not necessarily reflect multinational capitalists as a whole…”
Raoul Smith., President, CanadaCorp, a wholly owned subsidiary of MultiNatCorp
“We have a book called Zen and the Art of International Politics in stock? I’m sure you must be mistaken – I would remember a book with such a distinctive title. Okay…hold on a sec and I’ll check… (pause) Yes, you appear to be correct. It was in the Canadian section, which was why I didn’t immediately recognize it. Well, of course, we stand behind this book 100 per cent. One hundred per cent!”
unidentified bookstore owner
“This was a stupid idea.”
Unidentified book publisher