One day, the artistic representation for satirical purposes of the ghost of Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory (it’s a long story – don’t ask), was walking down the street when he came upon a young man banging on a drum. DUM DA DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM, the goateed young man, in dirty jeans and scruffy coat, banged. Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, understood this to mean, “You aren’t really Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, are you?”
“It’s a long story,” Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, responded. “Let’s just take it as a given that I am and move on to more congenial discourse.”
BAM BAM DA DUM DUM. (“As you wish.”)
Looking at the sidewalk around the vagrant young man, Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, couldn’t help but notice there was no cap or other vessel by means of which one could leave him alms. Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, asked about this.
DUM DUM BAM BAM DA DUM? (“You approve of begging?”)
“Well, I do believe that your time could be spent more profitably in an entry level position at a groceteria or other such establishment,” Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, allowed. “However, if this is how you choose to pursue your livelihood, I suppose the least you could do is pursue your livelihood properly.”
DUM BAM BAM BAM DUM PLINK. (“Whatever. I’m not begging.”)
“You’re not?” the man in the greatcoat and top hat, perplexed. “Then, why, pray tell, are you banging on a drum in the middle of the street?”
BAM DUM DA DUM DA DUM DA BAM BAM BAM. (“For the pleasure of making a joyous sound.”) As if to prove his point, the young man beamed at Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, with a joyousness pure.
“But, see here,” Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, caviled, “How do you expect to make enough money to cover the necessaries of life if you sit here and bang on the drum all day?”
DUM BA DUM DUM. (“I live with my parents.”)
“They accept this arrangement?”
The young man shrugged pleasantly.
Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, looked at the young man in disbelief, trying to decide between many shades of outraged response. Eventually: “This is a…an outrage! You cannot bang on the drum all day while those around you are selling insurance, coding software for pornographic Web sites and otherwise being productive members of society. Is it fair that you should contribute nothing to the Gross National Product while they do? For heaven’s sake, man, what do you think would happen if everybody had your attitude towards the economy?”
BUM BUM DA BUM BUM BUM DA DA DA? (“There would be a lot of happier people?”)
“Oh, rot and poppycock!” Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, in his anger, allowed himself the luxury of harsh language. “The whole process of the progress of Western civilization would come to a halt! Everything that generations of human beings have toiled so assiduously to create would dissolve in a cacophony of drumbeats!”
BUM DA BUM BUM BUM. DA DA BUM BUM DA DA DA BUM BUM. DA DA BUM BUM BUM BUM DA? (“Lighten up, man. I’m not saying that everybody should do this, just that it works for me. Why be so harsh?”)
“Because, my noisily inclined young friend, you are in no ways contributing to the common weal. However, even if my moral indignation were limited on this count, there would still be the problem that you could be an influence on the weaker sorts who seem to be flourishing in this society, causing them to follow your example.”
The young man paused to consider this. The glint in his eye suggested to Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, that he was not considering it all that seriously. At length, he finally drummed: BAM BAM DA BAM BAM PLINK? (“Would you like to try it?”)
Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, recoiled as if struck with a stick. “Most certainly not!” He quickly made off with himself, although to underscore his revulsion or to keep himself from temptation, who could say?