Fortune Favours The Reinbold…Unfortunately
“It’s my turn to battle COVID head-on…game on!”
– Republican Alaska Senator Lora Reinbold, barred from Alaska Airlines flights after defying a mask ban, admits she has the virus
It’s A Bland Pudding Of A Document
Really, The Wonderbread Of Political Statements
A Word Salad Full Of Calories Devoid Of Nutritional Value
Buuuut, It Comes With A French Version, So We’ll Swallow It
“Supporting might not be the best word. We will live with this empty piece of paper, gently read in three languages.”
– Bloc Quebecois Leader Yves-Francois Blanchet explains his party’s support of the Liberal throne speech
It’d Be Nothing To Be Ashamed Of: They Stole The Election Before We Did!
“Just say the election was corrupt and leave the rest to me and the Republican congressmen.”
– statement by then-President Donald Trump to then-acting Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen according to notes taken by somebody who was in on the call
If God Hadn’t Wanted Us To Wear Masks, He Wouldn’t Have Created Weaving
“God does not want us wearing masks… If you have a mask on, it means you actually don’t trust God. You don’t have faith.”
– GOP activist DeAnna Lorraine
For Example: The Country’s Population Will Hate Canada For Decades To Come
“So while we have to fully acknowledge that the changes we made in Afghanistan are not necessarily enduring, some of the impacts we had absolutely are, and just those positive impacts for me are worth the sacrifice that our soldiers made.”
– Canadian Afghanistan veteran Colonel Maureen Wellwood
The Chelonian Reptile Has A Great Future Ahead Of It In National Politics
“After some discussion, a small (and it must be said, very cute) turtle was acquired from a neighbourhood pet store. The players were elated. The turtle’s name is Bronxie, an ode to its home borough, and it lives a comfortable life… At times, it even roams freely, crawling among the white, interlocking NYs on the blue clubhouse carpet.”
– ESPN’s Sam Borden on the New York Yankee’s clubhouse pet
Defence Attorney Doesn’t Confuse Himself With Facts
“Third parties are influencing this case.” The trial has been “infected by mob violence by the left woke mob… This is what a public lynching looks like in the 21st century.”
– Kevin Gough, defence attorney for the men accused of murdering Ahmaud Arbery
Bu – Bu – But Holding A Summit IS Action!
(Common Rookie Mistake To Not Recognize The Fact)
“We don’t need a summit to know [about Islamophobia]. We see this happening in our news. We need action.”
– York University lecturer Fatimah Jackson-Best on the upcoming National Summit on Islamophobia
When They Get Close To Forming A Government, They’ll Flash A Lantern In The Window To Let You Know To Come Back
“When I walk across the aisle I’m going to leave some bread crumbs so I can find my way back to caucus if they’ll have me.”
– Conservative MPP Rick Nicholls after being thrown out of the party to sit as an independent after refusing to get vaccinated for “personal reasons”
Not Me, Obviously – I’m Not Crazy! – Just…People…
“We will have to learn to live with the virus. That means that for a long time, we will have to accept a certain risk and that there will be people who will be hospitalized.”
– Quebec Premier Francois Legault, who refuses to consider a COVID-19 lockdown
When A Person Claims A Medical Procedure That Can Save Their Life And The Lives Of Those Around Them Is “Unnecessary,” Do They Deserve To Keep Their Job?
I Never Thought I’d Say This, But Moral Philosophy Is Fun!
“When a person has done the same job to the satisfaction of her employer for 20 years, is it right or is it wrong to suddenly demand that they submit to an unnecessary medical procedure in order to keep their job?”
– Huron University College ethics professor Julie Ponesse, saying she fears for her job because she won’t get vaccinated
Beware The Day The Flat Earth Worm Turns
“I’ve never met so many people who are into flat earth.”
– Radu Dragan on the subject of anti-vaccine protests
With Such An Impeccable Character Reference…
“I’m not into golden showers. You know the great thing, our great first lady – ‘That one,’ she said, ‘I don’t believe that one.'”
– Donald Trump
Be Careful Not To Hang Yourself With The Chain Of Command
“When we put the uniform on, we all knew post-911 where the world was going. If we make a decision to deploy troops, then that’s the ‘worth it.’ It’s as simple as that.”
– Canadian Afghanistan veteran David Mack
Vampires Have Their Own Priorities – They Should Not Be Allowed To Advise Governments
“To shelter one refugee is a humanitarian act, but to allow one million strangers in is to endanger German civilization.”
– Henry Kissinger on refugees
Sorry, Madame, But Your Right To Self-determination Ends At The Beginning Of The Police Officer’s Skull
“I have a right to my self-determination!”
– January 6 participant/insurrectionist/patriot (?) Pauline Bauer screamed when told by the judge that she would have to stay in jail pending her trial
Politics Is Like High School, But With A Trillion Dollar Military Budget
“I don’t want to be your friend if you don’t do this.”
– Donald Trump to Mike Pence when he was resisting the President’s cajoling to refuse to accept the electors for the 2020 election
Tough Decisions Must Be Made? Really? Have You Met Canada?
“Things are going to get real now. And tough choices are going to need to be made and things like those regulations on oil and gas have to actually go in place and bring down emissions.”
– Clean Prosperity Executive Director Michael Bernstein
No Politicians, Then
“This time, I’m going to be more selective about who I work with.”
– Michael Cohen, on finishing his sentence for lying to Congress
Germany Has Already Won That Distinction Once, And Would Be Thrilled To Hand It Off To Somebody Else…Anybody Else…
“I don’t want to get into a competition in Europe to see who can treat these people the worst.”
– German Chancellor Angela Merkel on refugees