Don’t Knock What I’ve Built A Career On!
“Dating someone sarcastic? So original”
– Toronto Star
How Hard Is He Willing To Pull Its Tail?
“Can Legault make the Quebecois tiger roar?”
– Globe and Mail
Or, More To The Point: Ontario Has Its Own Flag?
“Why does Ontario still fly an outdated colonialist flag?”
– Toronto Star
I Got A Million Problems, And The Rich Ain’t But One
“Got a million? You qualify for high-net-worth investing advice”
– Globe and Mail
Number Seven Will Surprise You!
“Who are you? Science has four answers”
– Toronto Star
Hermes Would Be More Appropriate
“Will footwear fly for Canada Goose Brand?”
– Toronto Star
Are Canada’s Businesses Listening To Government?
“Is government listening to Canada’s businesses?”
– Globe and Mail
Because It Doesn’t Taste Remotely Like Chicken?
“Why aren’t we eating more goat meat?”
– Globe and Mail
Whether Tis Nobler In The Digestion
To Suffer The Aches And Pains Of Outrageous Diet
Or…Maybe Not Stretch A Classical Reference Too Far
“To take or not to take supplements?”
– Toronto Star
I’m Gonna Guess…Dip?
I Tried To Bath In It Once, And Eww!
“What’s the best use for tahini?”
– Globe and Mail
The Foxtrot (Although I Wouldn’t Mind A Charleston)
“What comes after the Roomba?”
– Toronto Star
Any Chance We Can Get Better Than Dime Store Answers?
“Tear down the Gardiner? It’s a billion-dollar question”
– Globe and Mail
Not If The Question Involves My Sex Life!
“Is carbon tax best answer?”
– Toronto Star
Ask How They Feel About Contraception For Elephants And Lions In Africa
“Baby get back: How can I fend off an ex from 40 years ago?”
– Globe and Mail
I Hope So – I’ll Never Get Enough Of That Word!
“Will weed-fearing towns invoke the potwithstanding clause?”
– Toronto Star
According To Cosmologists, 15 Billion Years (Give Or Take)
“How much more chaos can we endure?”
– Toronto Star
Umm…One Has An O And the Other Has Es And An H?
“What’s the difference between farro and freekah?”
– Globe and Mail
Then You Would Have To Get Dogs To Control The Cats And, Before You Knew What Was Happening, An Old Lady Would Eat A Horse!
“Cats as rat control? Not in New York”
– Toronto Star
When Have They Ever Not Boogied With Bagmen?
“Are the Liberals getting down to business?”
– Globe and Mail
It Buys A Gun Illegally Smuggled Across The Border From A Shady Guy In An Alley
“How does the flu turn fatal?”
– Toronto Star
Underadvertise?
“What can we do about overtourism?”
– Globe and Mail
The One That Works?
“Which Senate do we want?”
– Toronto Star
A Child Of Hollywood Dating A Bottle Of Wine?
Stranger Things Have Happened…This Week…
“Depp’s daughter dating Chalamet?”
– Toronto Sun
That Would Probably Be Easier Than Stressing The Ism Part
“Can we reinvent socialism by stressing the social part?”
– Toronto Star
As Long As Your Teeth Haven’t Been Fused Together, You Can Always Ask…
“Can I get my money back after unsatisfactory orthodontic work?”
– Globe and Mail
Look, If You Really Don’t Want Me To Have Children, Why Don’t You Just Come Out And Say So?
“Southern Africa has too many elephants and lions. Is contraception the answer?”
– Globe and Mail
“Butt Out! If We Wanted You To Know What We Were Really Saying, We Wouldn’t Have Made Up Our Own Language, Would We?”
“Avo is bougie, lit is basic: millennial slang, decoded
Slang is the language of the disenfranchised, popular enough to hit the mainstream. But what are young people really saying?”
– Toronto Star
No. But The West Has Actually Hated Him Since He Was…
a) Elected
b) Born
c) Star Stuff
“Does Justin Trudeau actually hate the West?”
– Globe and Mail
More Importantly: Why Would They Want To?
“1 day, 2 coasts, 6 Disney parks. Can they do it?”
– Toronto Sun
Because It Will Feel Good When We Stop?
“Why are we still selling arms to the Saudis?”
– Globe and Mail
Made In The Shade?
“The world is burning. Where are our leaders?”
– Globe and Mail
There’s A Charter Right To Be Obnoxiously Annoying To Complete Strangers?
I Can’t Decide If That Makes Us Civilized Or Barbaric…
“Does a Twitter block violate charter rights?”
– Toronto Star
Give Him A Break – He’s Only Teed Up On The Thirteenth Hole!
“Is the President finished? No, not by a long shot”
– Globe and Mail
Could It Conflict With The Antibiotics I’m Getting In My Beef?
“Should you add a probiotic to your supplement regimen?”
– Globe and Mail
It Will Only Sink Him If He Tries To Cross The River Over It Before It Is Built
“Will canal plan sink or save Erdogan?”
– Toronto Star
Gone To American Corporations Every One
“Where have Canada’s great leaders gone?”
– Globe and Mail