Gives New Meaning To The Term:”Political Theatre”
“Political promises do not have to be true, they just have to be plausible.”
– former Stephen Harper adviser Tom Flanagan
“It is better to portray a plausible unreality than an implausible reality.”
– Aristotle in The Poetics
She Makes The Octomom Look Like Mother Teresa
“I’m preaching pride, white pride, not hate.”
– mother who lost her children when one of them showed up at school festooned with a swastika and white supremacist slogans
“I mean, we’re bringing in people from Haiti now. They still practise cannibalism there. Do we want that here?”
– the woman’s non-racist response to the Haiti disaster
“The blacks that we have here…we domesticated them. We made them who they are. Otherwise, they would still be eating each other and killing each other…”
– the woman’s non-racist response to…I’m not sure what
Recipe For Anger: Pour In Equal Measures Of Economic Uncertainty And Racial Animosity, Stir Vigorously For Two Years, Let Set
“Our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger.”
– Republican President George W. Bush in his 2006 State of the Union address
“I know many Americans are angry over this health-care bill, and that Washington Democrats just aren’t listening.”
– Republican House Minority leader John Boehner in 2010
Lawrence, Take A Deep Breath Or You’ll Start To Hyperventilate!
“This regime continues to blatantly ignore its global obligation and it threatens as well global security.”
– Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon out-Israel’s Israel on the subject of Iran
Well! That was anti-climactic!
“The most beautiful thing in the world is, of course, the world.”
– Wallace Stevens
Consertives Gone Wild
“12:02 lbccman: consertive woman are hott!!!!
12:03 bonz88: Like I said WE GOT THE BABES
12:03 lbccman: lib girls have hairey pitt
12:03 Furpc: lib girls have hairy legs”
– Internet comments made while Michele Bachmann was speaking at CPAC
…As Long As They Agree With Mine
“Abortion is a controversial subject of moral implications where heartfelt conflicting views must be respected.”
– Conrad Black in The National Post
Maybe You Should Make It More Respectful Of Your Wife…
“I need to make my behaviour more respectful of the game.”
– Tiger Woods
And, Dammit, AHIP Is Going To Stop Going Down That Path Just As Soon As It Runs Out!
“The current debate about rising premiums has demonstrated that, in fact, we have a health care cost crisis in this country. Unfortunately, the path that has been followed is one of vilification rather than problem solving.”
– America’s Health Insurance Plans President and CEO Karen Ignagni
It Depends – Why Don’t We Ask The People In Alberta Who Are Dying Prematurely Of Cancer?
“How is comparing a movie [Avatar] where the industrial villains maim and kill indigenous people to Canada’s oil sands not irresponsible and, frankly, insulting?”
– Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers (CAPP) spokesman Travis Davies
The Absurd Ironyometer Never Knows How To Take April Fool’s Day
“They want to kill us. I would rather they were all six feet under.”
– Israeli Leah Stremsky on the country’s Arab population
How Did The Company Ensure That They Were Virgins?
“100 Ryerson theatre students suddenly burst into dance at Yonge and Dundas for a Virgin Mobile promotion.”
– Ryerson Today
In Fact, I Will Take The Next Twenty Minutes To Explain To You Why I Will Not Spend A Moment To Answer Your Question
“You must know very little about what the president of the republic actually has to do all day long. I certainly don’t have time to deal with these ridiculous rumours, not even half a fraction of a second. I don’t even know why you use your speaking time to put such an idiotic question.”
– French President Nicolas Sarkozy, answering a question about rumours that he has been having an affair
The Good News? YOUR Health Insurance Covers Broken Arms
“They can break my arms. They can do whatever they want to. They’ll never get my vote – ever. They’ll have to walk across my dead body if they want my vote on this issue.”
– Democratic Oklahoma Representative Dan Boren on health care reform
You Say That Like It Is A Change
“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year.”
– terminally ill-tempered John McCain explaining the Republican position on dealing with the Democrats
Your Back Pocket?
“It’s not that there were no regulations. There were plenty of regulations. Where were the regulators?”
– Hank Greenberg, former head of AIG
I Thought Republicans Didn’t Believe In Racial Quotas…
“You’re not going to dump the first African-American chairman. That’s the only reason. Otherwise, he’d be gone.”
– a Republican party insider explaining why, despite many gaffes, RNC Chair Michael Steel is not being fired
NOW YOU TELL ME?!
“Humour lives in people in their 20s. Past a certain age, you can do great material, but you cannot interact with the culture in the same way.”
– New Yorker cartoons editor Bob Mankoff
Silence Is Molten
“This is about more than the specific sordid scandal…it’s about accountability.”
– opposition leader Stephen Harper on the Liberal sponsorship scandal
“…”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper on the Conservative Helena Guergis/Rahim Jaffer scandal
Hey, Rob! The 1980s Called – They Want Their Rhetoric Back!
“People are fed up with this tax-and-spend policy at City Hall.”
– conservative Mayoral candidate Rob Ford
But, Isn’t That What Toast Is Made Of…?
“Toast is overrated. Derringer gives you bread for breakfast.”
– Q107 morning show promotion
How Many Chickens Does An MRI Cost These Days?
“Before we all started having health care, in the olden days our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor. They would say ‘I’ll paint your house.’ They would do, I mean that’s the old days of what people would do to get healthcare with their doctors. Doctors are very sympathetic people.”
– Sue Lowden, Nevada Senate candidate
The Day The Twitter Died
Where Is Don McLean When You Need Him?
“I love penguins! Can’t be sad around ’em! Ferrets are fun 4 a min but then it’s like, dude, take a breath! Still on the fence about rabbits!”
– Jim Carrey tweets