Or, We’ll…Warn You Again!
“Allow families, wounded out of Syria, UN wars”
– Toronto Star
If Those 59,945 People Weren’t So Lazy, They Might Still Have Jobs!
“CAE adjusts to European military cuts by shedding jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Defence contractors warn of job cuts
Lockheed, Boeing and others could lay off thousands when Washington’s budget reductions take effect”
– Globe and Mail
“QLT and Cardiome both wield ax
Vancouver pharmaceutical drug developers slash employee ranks after walking away from expensive, multiyear projects”
– Globe and Mail
“Via Rail cuts route frequency, staff by 9%”
– Globe and Mail
“Resolute to shut Nova Scotia mill
Forest products company blames strong Canadian dollar for decision to close newsprint plant and put 320 out of work”
– Globe and Mail
“Rogers cuts another 375 jobs
Latest round of layoffs may not be enough to stem drop in revenue”
– Toronto Star
“General Mills to cut about 850 jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“GM expected to confirm 2,000 job losses in Oshawa
Friday deadline if plant is expected to close in May 2013″
– Toronto Star
“RIM readies for global restructuring
The next round of layoffs, at least 2,000 employees worldwide, is planned for around June 1, a day before RIM’s first quarter ends”
– Globe and Mail
“HSBC to cut about 2,000 U.K. jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Best Buy to cut 2,400 jobs”
– Toronto Star
“Air France will cut 5,000 Jobs”
– Toronto Star
“Peugeot’s 8,000 job cuts put Hollande in a tough spot”
– Globe and Mail
“Nokia to shutter B.C. plant
Finnish mobile phone company to lay off 10,000 as slowing sales, fierce competition force global restructuring”
– Globe and Mail
“As PC markets stagnate, HP slashes 27,000 jobs”
– Globe and Mail
The Poorly Understood Lessons…Applied Badly…To The Wrong Current Situation…
“Applying the Lessons of Iraq”
– New York Times
Oedipus Lost His Eyesight In A Car Accident On The 401 While Lear Went Mad At The Cottage
“Tragedies mar long weekend”
– Toronto Star
When You’re Beaten By A Gay-Straight Club, The Embarrassment Lasts Much Longer Than The Bruises
“Catholics blindsided by bullying bill: sources
GAY-STRAIGHT CLUBS
– National Post
You Shouldn’t Have Hocked It, Then, Should You?
“Rihanna: ‘I want my old butt back.”
– Toronto Sun
Besides, You Can Really Profit From Those Amateur Ducts
“India’s frugal revolution
‘Jugaad’ is not about pirating pro ducts or making cheap imitations of global brands – it is about innovation”
– Toronto Star
Let’s Party Like It’s 1899
“Energy, mining lead growth in April”
– Globe and Mail
It Wouldn’t Be Much Of A Crisis If Somebody Came Along And, You Know, Solved It
“Putin rejects intervention in Syrian crisis”
– National Post
For Getting His Name Wrong?
“Alex Baldwin wanted to ‘gut’ TV producer”
– Toronto Star
It’s Hebrew For “Not Everything Is About You”
“What Does Morsi Mean for Israel?”
– New York Times
Insist They Look Good In Bikinis
“U.S. nuns reject Vatican criticisms”
– National Post
Not: “Cougars Worried About Getting Mono In Town,” Which Would Be A Whole Different Story
“Cougars spotted in town of Mono”
– Toronto Star
It’s Not Nearly As Interesting As You Imagine
“WHAT GOES ON IN THERE?
The Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives”
– The Grid
But…Gordon Gekko Made It Look So Easy!
“Get ready: Being greedy requires careful planning”
– Globe and Mail
Maybe The City Could Use Some Statins…
“Festivals shut down major arteries this weekend”
– Toronto Star
Girl, Di’n’t His Name Set Off Alarm Bells In Yo Head?
“Ludacris takes girlfriend to strip club”
– Toronto Sun
It Depends On The Question
What Is The Best Way To Protect Your Head In A Motorcycle Crash? – Yes
What Is Two plus Two? – Not So Much
“Are bike helmets the answer?”
– Toronto Star
Concludes: Yep. They Sure Are Risky…
“Regulator scrutinizes JPMorgan’s risk models”
– Globe and Mail
Because Nothing Stops Violence Faster Than A Sternly Worded Communique
“Seven dead as gunmen attack Syrian TV station
World powers to hold new talks on crisis”
– Toronto Star
With Words
Why, What Did The Headline Make You Think?
“Iran strikes back at Israel”
– Toronto Sun
Could He Be The Make Of His Own Problems?
“That Bulgari watch cost how much?
MPs failing to follow rules for declaring gifts worth more than $500 are causing headachers for the Ethics Commissioner”
– Globe and Mail
Convincing People It Was Cool In The First Place Would Be A Good Start
“Microsoft aims to regain its cool”
– Toronto Star
But, Ad Agencies Would Prefer If You Didn’t Call Them That
“Drought a blessing for fertilizer firms”
– Toronto Star
Thought Father Would Go Down In A Hail Of Bullets
“Peregrine chief’s confession caught son by surprise”
– Globe and Mail
Eventually To Be Replaced By Asia’s Foot In Our Ass
“OUR FOOT IN ASIA’S DOOR
Canada boosts its military presence in the Pacific Rim”
– Toronto Sun
Even If Our Interest In Them Does
“Conrad Black’s fights never end”
– Toronto Star
Under These Circumstances, Syria Would Be Totally Justified In Massacring Anybody It Saw As A Threat, Russia Continued
“UN provoking Syria civil war, Russia says”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, They’re Too Busy Playing Angry Birds To Notice
“Pre-Owned Games Are Costing The Industry More Than Piracy”
– Business Insider
It Would Certainly Dampen Their CEO’s Enthusiasm For Buying Small Islands
“Banks warn Ottawa over lending rules
TD, RBC caution new maximums on government-backed mortgages could dampen economy”
– Globe and Mail
Because Ford’s Been Doing So Well WITH Him?
“Departure of top aide deals blow to Ford”
– Toronto Star
Delusional Is Not A Good Business Plan
“Economic worries hit markets”
– Toronto Star
“Global slump eroding U.S. profits”
– Globe and Mail
“Business outlook strangely rosy
Despite uncertainty, Canadian firms plan to invest, survey says”
– Toronto Star
Did They Out Ernie At The Same Time?
I’m Offended That You’re Offended By That!
“How sweep it is
Blue Jays complete impressive sweep of Red Sox with offensive outburt in series finale”
– Toronto Star