1. Willful Distortion of Facts
Bon soir.
Welcome to The Pointless‘ annual celebration of the Brockville fleur-de-lys flag stomping incident, which has come to be known as “anglophone Canada’s gift to Quebec separatists.”
Later in the programme, we’ll have a special feature exploring the question of whether all anglophones hate francophones, or just a comfortable majority. After that, there will be a report entitled: “Mordecai Richler: anglophone fifth columnist from Montreal, or something really sinister?”
And, of course, we’ll be showing footage of anglophones dancing on the Quebec flag 37 times in the next 20 minutes.
But first, a panel of distinguished Quebec journalists will explain why John Dafoe and Laurier Lapierre are completely wrong about the Quebec press having a Seperatiste bias…
2. Unenlightened Self-interest
“Honey, if you don’t hurry up, we’ll be late for the opening curtain…”
“I don’t know if we should go, dear. According to the radio, there’s been rioting on Yonge Street.”
“Really? Damn. Alright – but, I was really looking forward to going out tonight. How about a movie? What’s playing at the Hyland?”
“They say the rioting has passed St. Clair and is heading towards North York.”
“Okay. How about some shopping? Let’s go down to the Eaton Centre and -“
“Oh, for goodness’ sake! You know, I believe totally in racial equality, but why does it have to interfere with my night out!”
3. A Combination of 1 and 2
Okay. Let me see if I’ve got this straight. A man was shot and killed, right?
“That’s right.”
And, you know who did it.”
“Yes.”
But, he won’t be charged?
“No.”
Why not?
“Because, he was a police officer.”
The man who was shot was black, was he not?
“That’s right.”
And the man who shot him was white?
“Yes.”
But, the shooting was not racially motivated?
“No.”
How do you know this?
“Because, he was a police officer.”
The black man hadn’t committed a crime, had he?
“That’s right.”
And, the truth of the matter is that he didn’t even look like the man the police were after, except for the fact that he was black. Right?
“Yes.”
Knowing this, you still claim the man who fired the shot was not racially motivated?
“That’s right.”
How can you be so sure?
“Because, he was a police officer.”
Isn’t the main purpose of the police to protect the innocent?
“That’s right.”
Yet, here is a case of an innocent man being killed by the very people who are supposed to be protecting him, and nothing will be done about it. Right?
“Ye..es…”
Don’t you think, in the interests of justice, the case should be investigated by a civilian panel, by people not connected to the police department?
“No.”
Why not?
“Because, I’m a police officer…”