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Shocking News

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Today on the Les Pages aux Folles hot seat, we have Ontario Premier Ernie Eves. He will be talking about energy deregulation in the province. Premier Eves, welcome.

“I appreciate the opportunity to explain government policy to the people of this great, great province.”

We’ll see. So, Premier, why deregulate energy in Ontario? And, particularly, what is the logic behind privatizing Ontario Hydro?

“Ontario Hydro was a monopoly, and prone to the problems we all know monopolies have. Its spending, for instance, was way out of control. By -“

bzzt

“Oww! What the – what was that?”

That? Oh, well, whenever you give an answer of dubious veracity, you will be given a jolt of electricity.

“What!”

Why do you think we call it the hot seat?

“Oh. But, what did I say to deserve that shock?”

You talked about how spending at Ontario Hydro was out of control, but conveniently neglected to mention that the Board of Directors you put in place was making far more than the Board when the company was publicly owned.

“Yeah, but it didn’t matter. By injecting competition into the system, we expect prices for electricity consumers to go down signific -“

bzzt

“Oww! What the -?”

Look, Premier, I really would like to believe in your good intentions. However, since partially deregulating the electricity delivery system, prices have skyrocketed in most jurisdictions in Ontario. Nobody appears to be saving any money. How do you explain that?

“It was a combination of factors. An unseasonably hot summer inflated demand for electricity as people increased their usage of air conditioners. In addi -“

Bzzt

“Oww! Look, you’ve got to give the system time! Once they see how lucrative it can be, the private companies will build new energy generating capacity. Supply will increase, driving down the price until -“

Bzzzzttttt

“Owww! W…what?”

Were you not aware that generators at the Pickering Nuclear Power Station were not operative, and will not be ready to operate for months, if not years?

“Really? I…I wasn’t aware, no… Oh, what the hell? I don’t want to see anybody in this province freeze to death because they couldn’t afford their electricity bill over the winter – effective immediately, my government will put a cap on electricity prices. Furthermore, the Conservative government will refund any money any citizen has spent above and beyond the capped price since the province began deregu -“

BZZTT

“Aaargh! How…how – pant, pant – what could possibly be wrong with that?”

Sorry to be such a stick in the mud, Premier, but you’re talking hundreds of millions – perhaps as much as a billion dollars, dollars that the government will be giving to citizens to give to the private companies supplying electricity. Wasn’t getting the government out of subsidizing power generation in Ontario the whole point of deregulation in the first place?

“As a matter of fact -“

I wasn’t finished.

“S…s…sorry. Sorry.”

The whole idea behind privatizing power generation was that new players would build new generating capacity out of their profits. This increase in supply would eventually drive electricity prices down. But, if you put a cap on electricity prices, the companies won’t be able to make enough money to build new electrical plants. Why would anybody want to invest in electricity under those conditions? Aren’t you dooming Ontario to power shortages as long as the cap is in place?

“Well -“

BZZZZTTTT

“W…w…what! What? What!”

Sorry. I just get a kick out of doing that.

“We…we – pant, pant – believe – pant, pant – that there will…be enough…profit in the long term to encourage -“

BZZZZzzttt…

“W…what the hell?”

Looks like a power outage. Probably one of those blackouts we’ve been warned were coming. Well, this seems like a good time to thank my guest, Ontario Premier Ernie Eves. Be with us next time when we put former Hydro One chair Eleanor Clitheroe on the hot seat.

“Oh, I can’t wait for that!”

Maybe it’s just a defective button…