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Racism is (a Spit) in the Eye of the Beholder

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“I’m not a racist, but I’m sick and tired if Jews using the Holocaust to score political points when they want something from the government.”

What! You’re distorting people’s arguments and totally minimizing Jewish suffering. Of course that’s racist.

“No, it’s not.”

How can you say it’s not racist?

“Because I started by saying, ‘I’m not a racist.'”

You can’t get away with making racist statements just by starting them by saying, “I’m not a racist.”

“But, it wasn’t a racist statement.”

How can you say it’s not racist?

“Because I started by saying, ‘I’m not a racist.'”

Mmm…

“Look, some of my best friends could be Jewish.”

Could be?

“Well, if I knew anybody who was Jewish…”

You’re not really convincing me, here.

“Okay, how about this? I’m not a racist, but I’m getting tired of the havoc being created in the economy by greedy Jewish bankers.”

You don’t get out much, do you?

“It’s true!”

The havoc in the economy is the fault of corporate CEOs who put their personal interests before their fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders, accountants who accepted improper books in order to get large consulting contracts, brokers who told their clients to buy stocks they secretly knew to be junk and ideologically-driven politicians who relaxed regulations that guarded against just these kinds of abuses. The greed that has created such havoc in the economy is widespread. It touches people of all races, creeds, colours and religions. To single out Jewish bankers is racist.”

“But, it wasn’t a racist statement.”

How can you say it’s not racist?

“Because I started by saying, ‘I’m not a racist.'”

Logic isn’t your strong point, is it?

“Okay. I think there’s one thing we can agree upon.”

One should never lose hope…

“I’m not racist, but I think the pro-Israel Jewish lobby in Washington is far too strong.”

It’s sad how life can crush our hopes.

“Oh, how can you disagree with that? I mean, I’m not racist, but I don’t see why Jews should be able to dictate American foreign policy, especially when it puts American lives at risk in the Middle East!”

Is it possible that the United States has its own interests in the Middle East? Like, for example, an insatiable thirst for Middle Eastern oil?

“Well…”

And, what about the evangelical Christians who lobby the government on behalf of the State of Israel because the End Times won’t come until all the Jews in the world have returned to the Holy Land?

“Yeah, yeah. I know all that. But, don’t you agree that Jews are too powerful in Washington?”

There are hundreds of lobby groups in Washington – military lobbyists, NRA lobbyists, lobbyists from most of the countries in the world, including such notorious places as China and Saudi Arabia. Why single out Jews unless you’re being racist?

“But, it wasn’t a racist statement.”

How can you say it’s not racist?

“Because I started by saying, ‘I’m not a racist.'”

I’m going into that corner to bang my head against a wall for several hours.

“I’m not a racist, but you have to admit that Jews have too much power in the entertainment industry.”

Please stop following me.

“Hey! I’m not a racist, but have you ever noticed that Jews tend to stay among their own kind?”

GET AWAY FROM ME!

“Okay…okay. You don’t have to tell me twice – I’m not slow, you know. Geez, I’m not a racist, but some Jews are really sensitive to criti – oh, hi. Yeah, how ya doin’? You know, I’m no racist, but I think it’s terrible the way black people abuse the Welfare system…”