Oh, I Know All About Extreme Movements, But We Keep Air Freshener In The Bathroom So Everybody Can Breath
“[Bitcoin] has these big swings that not a lot of investors are able to handle. When you have extreme movements, people get in at the wrong time, and people get out at the wrong time.”
– BMO Global Asset Management Chief Investment Officer Sadiq Adatia
You Know What They Say: Popes Plan, Netanyahu Laughs
“I renew my appeal for a ceasefire on every front, including Lebanon, and the immediate liberation of all the hostages in Gaza. I ask that the Palestinian people receive humanitarian aid, and that hospitals, school and places of worship receive all necessary protection.”
– Pope Francis
We Have A Charter Of Rights And Freedoms, Not A Constitution
And Our Right To Remain Silent And Be Represented By Counsel Is Enshrined In Canadian Law
Other Than That, Musk Got It Exactly Right
I Mean, Like, There Really Is A Country Named Canada
“There is no constitutional right to freedom of speech in Canada, and there is no Miranda rights in Canada. People like to think, like, you know, you have the right to remain silent. You don’t actually in Canada.”
– international legal scholar Elon Musk
Your Grandchildren’s Patience Will Be Well Rewarded
“We are in the last stages towards completion of the Eglinton Crosstown… We are not there yet.”
– Metrolinx CEO Phil Vester
“Production In Alberta Hits All-time Record”
– Toronto Star
“Our commitments on decarbonization and being a part of the transition have not changed at all since I’ve taken over in this position six months ago.”
– Suncor CEO Rich Kruger, responding to a question from a parliamentary committee about comments he made to shareholders that the company was too focused on the long-term energy transition and needed to maximize oilsands profits now
And The Grift Goes On
(Bom Bom Bom Da Dum Da Dum Dum Dum)
And The Grift Goes On
“Look, they can boot me out of Congress but they can’t take away my good humour or my larger-than-life personality nor my good faith and the absolute pride I have for everything I’ve done.”
– George Santos, making videos for money on Cameo
The Safety And Security…OF PALESTINIANS?
Do You Want To Break It To Him, Or Should I?
“I disagree with Canada’s vote at the United Nations today. I do not support its call for Israel to agree to what is, effectively, an unconditional ceasefire. At present, that would only place in further jeopardy the safety and security of Israelis & Palestinians in Gaza.”
– Eglinton-Lawrence Liberal MP Marco Mendicino
Like Israel Hasn’t Been A Target Since Its Creation?
Do You Want To Break It To Him, Or Should I?
“Were there no Israel, there wouldn’t be a Jew in the world that is safe.”
– US President Joe Biden
“I Want To Eat!”
– Artists Explaining Why OpenAI Should Be Forced To Pay To Use Their Work To Train Its Artificial Intelligence
“Because copyright today covers virtually every sort of human expression – including blogposts photographs, forum posts, scraps of software code, and government documents – it would be impossible to train today’s leading AI models without using copyrighted materials.”
– OpenAI explaining why it shouldn’t be forced to pay artists to use their work to train its artificial intelligence on
Trump Tends To Pick Vampires For Lawyers
It’s The Only Way They Can Look Themselves In The Mirror
“[E. Jean Carroll] has gained more fame, more notoriety than she could have ever dreamed of… She doesn’t want to fix her reputation, ladies and gentlemen. She likes her new brand.”
– Donald Trump’s lawyer Alina Habba
I’ll Have The Drugs She’s Having
“We’ve never been a racist country.”
– Nikki Haley
A Black Man Running To Lead A White Supremacist Party? He Should Have Learned Better Than – Oh, Did He Just Prove His Own Point?
“The only way we change education in this nation is to break the backs of the teachers unions. They are standing in the door house of our kids, locking them into failing schools and locking them out of the greatest future they could have.”
– Republican primary presidential candidate Tim Scott
…After All Of My Advisers Told Me I Had No Choice
“No one’s above the law, and President Trump is entitled to the presumption of innocence… but the American people deserve to know that the President… asked me to put him over the constitution. And I chose the constitution, and I always will.”
– Republican primary presidential candidate Mike Pence
Especially If The Impurities Poison The Democrats’ Chances Of Winning Elections
“Thank goodness that most of the states in this country don’t allow you to put everything on the ballot, because pure democracies are not the way to run a country.”
– Rick Santorum
Say What You Want, But You’ll Be Singing A Different Tune When You’re Impeached
“Republicans do not want an open process where Americans can see their tactics, expose their baseless inquiry, or hear what I have to say. What are they afraid of? I am here.”
– Hunter Biden on why he defied a congressional subpoena, insisting he would only testify in public
John Lennon Is Turning In His…Nowhere
“Just imagine, they’re spending millions of dollars on attack ads and ignoring the priorities of Ontarians.”
– Ontario Liberal leader Bonnie Crombie
And I’m Not Saying That Just Because My Fortune Depends On It – I Honestly Hate Poor People
“I do think the harsh reality that Canadians are going to need to deal with is that, yes, Toronto and Vancouver are just incredibly expensive, and you do need to have a substantial income.”
– Christopher Alexander, Re/Max Canada President
Rich Kruger Bangs The Table And Bellows, “You Have A Problem With That‽”
“Canada could begin resembling Cuba, with large fleets of old, highly inefficient gas vehicles on our city streets.”
– John Shepherd