Is The PM Cutting And Pasting His Responses To Recurring Problems?
It Would Sure Save On Speechwriters!
“This is not the news that any Canadians wanted to receive this morning… We will continue to be there for Canadians through these difficult times.”
– PM Justin Trudeau responding to a Bank of Canada interest rate hike
TRANSLATION: I’m All About Fair Negotiations As Long As They Don’t Inconvenience Anybody, Anywhere, At Any Time
“I’m all about fair negotiations, but when it’s affecting the economy, not just here in Ontario but across the country, we need to get folks back to work… This is hurting the whole economy, right across the country.”
– Ontario Premier Doug Ford calling for federal intervention in the BC port strike
You Know Exactly Three Democrats, So, When You Say A Lot, Do Mean One And Two Thirds?
“He’s a very smart person. I know a lot of the members of that family, and he’s a very smart guy. And he’s hit a little bit of a nerve. And a lot of Democrats I know want to vote for him.”
– Donald Trump on RFK Jr.
No Self-respecting Democrat Would Vote For Him – He Has A Real Shot To Win This Thing!
“Even in Hitler’s Germany, you could cross the Alps into Switzerland, you can hide in the attic like Anne Frank did… Today the mechanisms are being put in place that will make it so none of us can run, none of us can hide.”
– RFK Jr. on vaccine mandates
I Thought Competitive Stoogery Was Confined To Washington
“You’re taking out everything that’s interesting to watch and everything sporting [from boxing] and just doing the brain damage part.”
– Chris Nowinski, CEO of The Concussion Legacy Foundation, on the new Power Slapping League
And If I Wasn’t Retiring, I Might Do Something About This Problem
…Like Ignore It Until I Was Retiring…
“Instead of leading, instead of debating our national purpose in this chamber, too many of us are often chasing algorithms down a sinkhole of diversion and division. We are becoming elected officials who judge our self-worth by how many likes we get on social media.”
– former Conservative Party leader, MP Erin O’Toole
They May Have Let Wagner Group Troops Move Through Their Cities, But That Was Just For The Glory Of Seeing Them Crushed When They Entered Moscow
“The Russian people are united as never before. The solidarity and responsibility for the fate of the fatherland was clearly demonstrated by the Russian political circles and the entire society by standing as a united front against the attempted armed rebellion.”
– Russian President Vladimit Putin
Unfortunately, Most Of Us Really Enjoy Eating, Too
“Some people, they work because they’re trying to make a buck. If you just work like that, you don’t really enjoy it.”
– Carl Rodrigues, CEO of SOTI
“I Thought We Were Sharing Our Work,” Boebert Responded.
“You’re The One Who’s Been The Bitch Ever Since You Became Teacher’s Pet!”
“I’ve donated to you. I’ve defended you. But you’ve been nothing but a little bitch to me. And you copied my articles of impeachment after I asked you to cosponsor them.”
– Marjorie Taylor Green to Lauren Boebert on the floor of the House of Representatives
So, We’re Giving Them The True Canadian Experience, Then?
“We have exhausted the capacity in our system and any funding we had available to support newcomers. The sad reality is that it leaves many newcomers homeless.”
– Durham Regional Chair John Henry
Aww, All The Baby Mercenary Groups Are So Cute!
“All the elite groups are trying to build up their own security resources because it’s now clear that force matters.”
– political consultant Yevgeny Minchenko on the Wagner Group’s aborted mutiny
I Love The Smell Of Wildfires During Day Games. It Smells Like…Cardiac Arrest…
“You smell it, you taste it, but you just go out and play baseball and forget about it when you go out there.”
– Chicago Cub Ian Happ on playing in air deemed “very unsafe” because of wildfire smoke
Who Are You, Again?
Not The Guy Who Wanted To Use The Strong Mayor Powers To Force All Left-wing Councillors To Come To Work In Clown Costumes And Make –
Oh, Wait! No, You’re The Guy With All The Signs And Advertising, Aren’t You?
Yeah, I Ignored All That. Sorry. I Have A Life…
Supporters “have been questioning how, with the significant impact of my campaign, my vote count could be as low as reported.”
– mayoral candidate Xiao Hua Gong, who wants a recount having finished 11th with 0.4 per cent of the vote
“Don’t Trust Him!” The Greenbelt Tries To Warn Her
“We’ll work together and we’re going to find common ground when we sit down because she’s actually quite a nice person.”
– Ontario Premier Doug Ford on Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow
Salivate, Salivate, Salivate
– Developers
“Housing, housing, housing.”
– Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow
“My Constant Attacks May Have Had Something To Do With Destruction…” Poilievre Modestly Allowed
“He has destroyed the reputation of a former governor general all to cover up his own refusal to defend Canada from foreign interests and threats.”
– Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre responding to David Johnston resigning as a special adviser to Liberal Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s government on foreign election interference
“He Earned Points For Creativity, But That’s Not Actually Part Of The Test…”
“He attempted to drive through a pedestrian walkway, narrowly missing four people, then did a number of ‘burnouts’ in the parking lot.”
– Guelph police statement about an “irate” motorist from Brampton after failing a driving test
All That Video Of Injured Policemen Was Just Outtakes From An Old Gerard Butler Movie
“We delivered a peaceful transition on January 6, 2021, exactly as our Constitution requires.”
– former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo
“I Was Dead Set Against The Plan The Moment It Became Public!”
“Nobody really conspired to do this thing they’re accusing us of… It was more the informants who conspired amongst each other to set this up.”
– Barry Croft, the accused bomb-maker for a group charged plotting to kidnap and kill Michigan Governor Gretchen Witmer