It’s Just This Kind Of Leadership That Led To One Less Canadian Voice Being Heard
“This convoy is really about Mr. Trudeau and the fact that people are tired. There’s a fatigue in this country, there’s division and there’s millions of people who feel they’re no longer being heard.”
– soon to be former Conservative leader Erin O’Toole
The Extermination Of People Of An Entire Religion
Nudity
“It’s leaving me with my jaw open, like, ‘What?'”
– Art Spiegelman on Maus being banned by a Tennessee school board for containing “objectionable” content
We’re Afraid To Call It Pandemic/Let’s Call It Swimming
“Basically, we’re in either a resurgence, a sixth wave, or as I like to say, the ‘throw-caution-to-the-wind’ wave.”
– Dr. Peter Juni, epidemiologist and scientific director of Ontario’s science table, on the abolition of government mandates to combat COVID
John Bolton Has Stated That He And Trump Discussed That Very Subject – Oh, Burn!
“I have no idea what a burner phone is. To the best of my knowledge, I have never even heard the term.”
– former President Donald Trump claiming ignorance (and how often does that happen?) of technology that could explain a seven hour gap in White House phone logs during the January 6 insurrection
Sorry, But A Certain Former American President Has Really Raised The Bar On That
Like, Raised The Bar Out Of The Atmosphere High
“He is a bad, bad man.”
– Jonathan James on Liberal leader Justin Trudeau
Oh Oh! When They Start Talking Like That, Somebody Better Hide The Knives In The Congressional Commissary!
“When Judge Jackson appeared last year before the Judiciary Committee, I was troubled by aspects of her record, including her record on crime and criminal justice. I will be thoroughly reviewing [her] record from top to bottom and look forward to speaking with her.”
– Missouri Senator Josh Hawley, a Republican member of the Judiciary Committee, on the nomination of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson for the Supreme Court
The Kind Of Person Who, For Example, Wouldn’t Pump Her Fist In The Air In Support Of An Insurrection?
“I do plan on meeting with the President’s nominee in person, and thoroughly vetting her record to determine if she is a person of high character.”
– Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn, a Republican member of the Judiciary Committee, on the nomination of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson for the Supreme Court
The Former President Claimed That This Was Fake News In All Meanings Of The Term
“Wildlife inspectors and special agents determined the linings of the robes were dyed to mimic tiger and cheetah patterns.”
– US Fish and Wildlife Service’s Tyler Cherry claiming gifts the Saudi royal family gave Donald Trump were not true furs
Oh, Me-ow!
“The Board of FIFE feels it cannot just witness these atrocities and do nothing.”
– the Federation Internationale Feline announces that Russian cats will be banned from competition
We Tried It On Truckers, But They Almost Bit our Heads Off
“Our snow leopards knew that if they stood there and they got poked, they’d get a reward at the end.”
– Winnipeg Assiniboine Zoo head vet Chris Knight on the ease of vaccinating some animals
What, Those Selfish Bastards Who Put Their Health Before My Freedom? I Got Respect For Them Right Here, Pal!
“As a society I am asking we remain kind, considerate and respectful towards those who continue to choose to wear a mask.”
– Ontario Chief Medical Officer of health Dr. Kieran Moore, in anticipation of the province dropping mask mandates
Former President Cooks Up Word Salad With No Nutritional Value
“Well what I would do, is I would, we would, we have tremendous military capability, and what we can do without planes, to be honest with you, without 44 year-old jets, what we can do is enormous, and we should be doing it and we should be helping them to survive and they’re doing an amazing job.”
– Donald Trump telling Fox News how his actions in Ukraine would be different from President Biden’s
“Call That A Threat? We Lose More Than That In Sanctions And Boycotts Every Day!” An Unidentified Voice On The Line Responded
“If anybody from the Islamic Republic of Iran is on this call, if the Supreme Leader is on this call, we’re coming after your assets, gentlemen.”
– Canadian lawyer Mark Arnold after winning a $107 million judgment in an Ontario court against Iran
Many Ontarians Never Believed It Had Begun – Let The Intubations Begin!
“COVID is not over.”
– Toronto’s medical officer of health Dr. Eileen de Villa, in anticipation of the province dropping mask mandates
When You Discover His Unorthodox Method Of Disposing Of Official Government Documents, It Starts To Make Sense
“People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.”
– former President Donald Trump
The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled Was To Convince People The Left Created Hell
“Help This Great President stand firm, Mark!!! … The majority knows Biden and the Left is attempting the greatest Heist of our History.”
– Virginia Thomas’ text to Mark Meadows on November 10
The Cost Of Not Becoming A Shithole Country Is Eternal Deplorableness
“This isn’t a place – with all due respect, you know – like Iraq or Afghanistan that has seen conflict raging for decades. This is a relatively civilized, relatively European – I have to choose these words carefully, too – city where you wouldn’t expect that or hope it is going to happen.”
– CBS correspondent Charlie D’Agata doesn’t choose his words carefully enough on the subject of Ukrainian refugees
Aren’t These Reporters Paid To Choose Their Words Carefully?
“These are not obviously refugees trying to get away from areas in the Middle East…or North Africa.”
– an Al Jazeera commentator on the subject of Ukrainian Refugees
Funny – That’s Exactly What My Doctor Told Me When He Refused To Amputate My Gangrenous Leg!
“We cannot remain at a heightened state of emergency forever. We have to begin to heal.”
– Alberta Premier Jason Kenney
Pardon Me For Thinking This Is Witness Tampering
“If I run and I win, we will treat those people from January 6 fairly. And if it requires pardons, we will give them pardons, because they are being treated so unfairly.”
– former President Donald Trump