Rah Rah Rah
Fight, Liberals, Fight!
(Just Not Too Much)
“Hold my feet to the fire.”
– President Barack Obama telling liberals that they have to fight for what they believe in
“People will have the satisfaction of having a purist position, and no victories for the American people. And we will be able to feel good about ourselves, and sanctimonious about how pure our intentions are and how tough we are.”
– President Obama telling liberals to stop fighting his tax deal with the Republicans
We’re Doomed
“We’re working as constructively as any country.”
– Conservative spokesman explaining Canada’s role in Kyoto Protocol negotiations
Satire? Ah Do Not Thin The Word Means What You Thin It Means
“I think they should be allowed to build [the Park 51 community centre] followed by the hijacking of an Iranian plane right into that building and blow it to smithereens.”
– Mike Rosen, on the radio
“Although my comment was obviously satirical, various lefties are intentionally misrepresenting it, out of context, as if this were truly my position.”
– Mike Rosen, a week later, in his Denver Post column
And, Yet, I Still Wouldn’t Want It On My Toast
“Heavy oil is like peanut butter. We have to make it thinner so it can flow.”
– Eddie Lui, in an ad for Imperial Oil
When I Get On [A] Plane, If I See People Who Are In NPR T-Shirts – Naah, I’m Not Gonna Go There!
“When I get on [a] plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.”
– soon to be former NPR commentator Juan Williams
First Things First:
What Canada Needs Is More Canada
“With authoritarian alternatives gaining credibility…the world needs Canada now more than ever before.”
– Liberal Bob Rae in the book Exporting Democracy
But, How Many Yacht-building Jobs Can The Economy Sustain?
“We all either work for rich people or we sell stuff to rich people, so just punishing rich people is as bad for the economy as punishing anyone.”
– Kentucky Senator-elect Rand Paul
And, Even If There Aren’t, There Are Politicians Who Will Say There Are If They Think It Will Win Them Votes
“Let us not forget that, even now, there are those who choose evil, and would launch another Holocaust if left unchecked.”
– Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper
The Book, The Presidential Li-bary, They’re Attempts To Control What I Can Hear While I’m Still Alive
“Whatever the verdict on my presidency, I’m comfortable with the fact that I won’t
be around to hear it.”
– former President George W. Bush
Ha Ha – Millionaire Humour!
“Edge and I will be available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and funerals.”
– Bono explaining what would happen if the musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark isn’t a hit
Rupert Is So Ugly When He Gloats
“With the advent of the Internet, prompt disclosure of expenditures can provide shareholders and citizens with the information needed to hold corporations and elected officials accountable for their positions and supporters.”
– Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, Citizens United
“[Y]ou have the right to vote us off the board if you don’t like it.”
– Rupert Murdoch, responding to a question from a News Corp shareholder about the company’s million dollar donations to Republican organizations
I Call It The Mussolini Theory: ‘You Let One Right Wing Loony Into The Party And, Before You Know It, They Rule’
“I call it the Hitler Theory: ‘You tell a lie often enough you hope that some people believe it.'”
– Conservative MP Julian Fantino criticizing the Liberal Party
We’re So Doomed
“Our team is united and focused on one goal: defeating Dalton McGuinty.”
– Ontario Conservative leader Tim Hudak, explaining his policy for dealing with the province’s problems
Debate And Switch
“Rand Paul has made a ban on wasteful earmark spending in Washington D.C. one of the key points of his campaign.”
– Paul’s campaign Web site
“No. No [earmarks]. But I do tell people within Kentucky is I say, look, I will argue within the committee process for things that are good for Kentucky that they want and also within the context of a balanced budget.”
– Paul, not a week after his election as Senator
That Government Has Screwed Them For The Past 30 Years To Benefit The Rich?
“We’re going to have to tell the truth to the American people.”
– Barack Obama
The War On Public Transit Begins!
“The war on the car stops today.”
– Toronto Mayor Rob Ford
Because, Lord Knows, Michelle Bachmann And Glenn Beck Are Too Shy To Tell Us What They Really Think
“The greatest bane of contemporary American politics is the spinelessness of its public discourse and personalities.”
– Conrad Black
It Takes A Brave Columnist To Argue In Favour Of Her Right To Make Other People Sick (Conrad Black Take Note)
“Moi, je refuse: I shall cough into my cupped hands until I lose the slight dexterity that requires and then I shall hack unashamedly into the public air.”
– Christie Blatchford, Globe and Mail
Better To Give More Canadians The Opportunity To Die in Vain
“Every Canadian who died in Afghanistan would have died in vain if we had cut and run in 2011.”
– letter to the Toronto Star
The Right To Choose To Die From Faulty Products, For Example
“The proposed consumer safety act would deny Canadians their basic Charter rights.”
– National Post editorial
The Divine Sarah Gotta Work On Her (Moral) Compass
“Obviously, we gotta stand with our North Korean allies.”
– Sarah Palin
As Usual, The Times Has Its Finger On The Pulse Of…The Last Decade
“As Microsoft battles forgeries, it risks looking like a bully.”
– New York Times
Well, That’s Embarrassing…
“The Canadian Forces mission in Afghanistan has been approved by Parliament until February 2009, and our Government has made clear to Canadians and our allies that any future military deployments must also be supported by a majority of parliamentarians.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Yep, We’re Doomed
Doomed As Doomed Can Be
Doomed, I Tells Ya
Doomed
“He’s going to be the greatest mayor this city has ever seen, as far as I’m concerned, and put that in your pipe you left-wing kooks.”
– Don Cherry’s speech at Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s inaugural meeting of city council