I Blame Elon Musk, That Smooth-talking Devil!
“Does girlfriend need space?”
– Toronto Star
It Doesn’t Apply To The Market As A Whole, So…
“When it comes to mutual funds, does the notion ‘you get what you pay for’ apply?”
– Globe and Mail
Once Upon A Time…
“So many fascinating stories to tell. But where to begin?”
– Toronto Star
It Depends On How Many Realities The Line Leads To
“I loathe being stuck in the security line. Should I get a Nexus card?”
– Globe and Mail
I Need A Miner’s Lamp To See The Bottom
I…I’m Not Sure If That’s A Good Thing Or Not
“How deep are your pockets?”
– Toronto Star
It Depends – Is Her Name Crazy Daisy?
“Should this investor give up her ‘steady-Eddie’ dividend portfolio?”
– Globe and Mail
That Would Only Be A Good Idea If He’s Not Grounded
“Will Scheer embrace electric cars?”
– Toronto Star
Now, If He Were A Newspaper Columnist, That Would Be Completely…The Same, But Different…
“Who’s Trudeau to judge anyone’s ethics?”
– Toronto Sun
Leaders Of What?
“One week in, have leaders got your attention yet?”
– Toronto Star
Blood Money Has A Bad Reputation
“Why don’t we pay blood plasma donors?”
– Globe and Mail
The Cow?
“Who doesn’t love a fine prime rib roast?”
– Toronto Star
Striking It From Your Memory Will Probably Be More Effective
“I was let go before my three-month probation ended. Can I strike it from my employment history?”
– Globe and Mail
If You Have To Ask, You’re Not An Arms Dealer
“Was war in Afghanistan worth it?”
– Toronto Star
Wasn’t That A Sixties Soft-core Porn Movie?
“What Did Pope Francis Know?”
– New York Times
Jackson Brown Knows, But He’s Not Telling Anybody
“Are Liberals and the PQ running on empty?”
– Toronto Star
Companies Run Soooo Much Smoother Without Employees
“WHY WAIT? DOWNSIZE NOW!”
– Toronto Sun
It Depends How Big The Pot Ends Up Being
“Pot investors are getting rich, but will it last?”
– Toronto Star
We Smelt It, So We Should…Dealt With It…
“If dictators can say no to taking our garbage, why can’t we?”
– Toronto Star
Who Can Say No To A Beautiful Tulip?
Everybody Loves Tulips!
“With bond market gloomy, why are stocks still near record levels?”
– Globe and Mail
Probably, But What Would Be The Point?
“Will eating less meat save the planet?”
– Toronto Star
Oh, Yeah. It Will Improve It To Death!
“Will premier’s special council improve health care?”
– Toronto Star
Certainly, If It’s Big Enough To Stop The Fist
“Can a daily pill improve your gut health?”
– Toronto Star
I Have No Idea
Maybe You Should Ask Isaac Newton
“Core competency
In Provence, Caroline Rimbert Craig explains, meals are closely linked to the weather outside. What says fall more than apples?”
– Globe and Mail
To Be Honest, I Could Have Done Without The International Beer Pong…
“Ontarians, is this what you wanted?”
– Toronto Star
Either Is Okay As Long As You’re Punching Up, Not Down
“I’m redoing my home’s hardwood floors. Should I go light or dark?”
– Globe and Mail
What Brand Of Toothpaste Do You Use, And Where Can I Avoid Getting It?
“Can fruit and veggies whiten teeth?”
– Toronto Star
Somebody Who Underperforms
“Who’s afraid of oversight?”
– Toronto Star
I Like To Think Of Myself As More Of A Lazyist
“Specialist vs. generalist: What kind of employee are you?”
– Globe and Mail
Weird Uncle Ferdinandz
Now Would Be A Good Time To Become An Anti-vegetarian
“Giving thanks
Thanksgiving brings people together, gathering friends and family around the table. So who’s bringing the carrots?”
– Toronto Star
Where?
“Did anyone ever have a plan for Oshawa?”
– Toronto Star
“Get A Job, You Hippie!”
“What would leaders say if they debated their younger selves?”
– Globe and Mail
We Like To Think It’s For Our Brains, But We Suspect It’s For Our Gardiner Expressway
“Why does Uber seem to love Toronto so much?”
– Toronto Star
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
“Where is Canada’s ombudsperson for responsible enterprise?”
– Toronto Star
“Where Went My Empty Nest?”
– New York Times
“Where is the bold idea in this election?”
– Toronto Star
“Where does one turn as market jitters grow?”
– Globe and Mail
“Where are the vaping rules to protect teens?”
– Toronto Star
He Hates Butter Tarts
“What else has U.S. citizen Scheer not told us?”
– Toronto Star
You Mean The Other Centre Of The Universe?
“WHAT ABOUT ALBERTA?”
– Globe and Mail
Only According To The World Wild Life Federation
“Are beer halls endangered?”
– Toronto Star
Erasing The Chalk Pentagram On The Floor Would Be A Good Start
“How do I fix dark circles?”
– Toronto star