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Parlour Games of the Eighties

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PREMISE: A high-ranking government official is sitting alone in a room with a big box. He has just found out that he has been shifted to an embassy post overseas. A bottle sits on a table next to the man. By only asking questions that can be answered with a yes or a no, figure out what’s going on.

QUESTION: Hmm…is the politician’s identity important?

ANSWER: To him, maybe, but not to the game, no. It could happen to any politician. No one, with the possible exception of the Prime Minister, is safe from it.

QUESTION: So, this is a fear that every politician has?

ANSWER: That’s right.

QUESTION: We’re talking about the fear of losing public office, here, am I right?

ANSWER: You got it.

QUESTION: And, it’s really based on a fear of losing power, correct?

ANSWER: Correct.

QUESTION: But, sooner or later, every politician has to leave public life. This kind of reasoning doesn’t lead anywhere, does it?

ANSWER: No, it doesn’t. But, you’d be surprised how many people get hung up on that point. Good stuff. (pause)

QUESTION: Okay…the box. Is it made of wood?

ANSWER: Umm…yes.

QUESTION: You hesitated…is the box made of something else, something in addition to wood?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: I see…is the box empty?

ANSWER: No.

QUESTION: Okay…so, it has something in it – wait a minute. This isn’t some crazy metaphor, is it? The box is really Pandora’s Box, right? And, the politician has let loose some wild kind of Armageddon…

ANSWER: No.

QUESTION: Oh. Well…it was worth a shot. Hmm…does the box have something mechanical inside it?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: Is it something the politician made?

ANSWER: No.

QUESTION: Am I going to feel dumb when I figure out what it is?

ANSWER: Probably.

QUESTION: Oh! It’s a television set! I mean, is the box a television set?

ANSWER: Very good.

QUESTION: Alright – I feel dumb. So…is what’s happening related to what’s on television?

ANSWER: That’s right.

QUESTION: The politician is unhappy about what’s on TV?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: He’s watching Alan Thicke’s new show, Growing Pains!

ANSWER: No. Please, try to ask questions.

QUESTION: Sorry. Umm, is he watching Miami Vice?

ANSWER: No.

QUESTION: The new Twilight Zone?

ANSWER: No. Are you sure you’re taking this seriously?

QUESTION: Sorry. Alright, he’s watching the evening news, and something on it has made him upset.

ANSWER: Right.

QUESTION: It’s something about him, right?

ANSWER: Right, again.

QUESTION: He’s just seen an expose of the scandal he’s involved in?

ANSWER: Exactly. Have you played this game before?

QUESTION: No. Is the nature of the scandal important?

ANSWER: To him, maybe, but not to the game.

QUESTION: Okay…umm…the glass…he’s going to slit his wrists…

ANSWER: That’s not a question.

QUESTION: Is he going to slit his wrists?

ANSWER: No. He’s upset, but he’s not nuts.

QUESTION: Is he drinking out of the glass?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: Is he drinking heavily out of the glass?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: In short, he’s getting drunk. Right?

ANSWER: Right.

QUESTION: So, let me see if I’ve got this straight. A politician has just found out that he’s going to be shifted to a minor embassy post from his high position because of a scandal reported on the news. He is upset by this, and has started drinking heavily. Is that all there is to it?

ANSWER: Oh, goodness, no. We could go on like this all night.

QUESTION: But, is there a point to any of it?

ANSWER: Maybe there is…maybe there isn’t…

QUESTION: You mean, I have to figure it out by myself?

ANSWER: Right. Do you want to take a break?

QUESTION: No. Are there other people involved?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: A lot of other people?

ANSWER: Yes.

QUESTION: Millions?

ANSWER: Un huh.

QUESTION: Around 25 million?

ANSWER: You got it.

QUESTION: Oh, boy. Maybe I better take a break after all…