Ball’s To The Wall
You may think that politicians have a responsibility to do what they believe is right. * SNORT *! You probably think that the Easter Bunny cures cancer, too! What? You do think the Easter Bunny cures cancer? That is: you did until a moment ago? Oh! I – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to –
Ahem.
According to Dave Ball, chairman of the Washington County GOP, Republican Pat Toomey should not have voted guilty at President Donald Trump’s Senate impeachment trial just because the evidence was overwhelming and the defence was a stale Twinkie in the snacks aisle of life. He was not there to do the right thing, he was there to do what “we” wanted him to do.
Who is “we,” white man? Citizens of Washington County? Republicans in Washington County? Republican political operatives in Washington County? Republicans from Washington County who currently reside in the basket of deplorables? The bees buzzing in Ball’s head?
The amazing thing about people who live in the basket of deplorables is that they are not shy about saying the quiet part out loud. The problem with people who live in the basket of deplorables is that so many of them are saying the quiet part out loud that it’s hard to know who to give your attention to first!
Ayn Rand Paul Would Be Proud
Speaking of saying the quiet part out loud…
Time was if a politician wanted to make a fool of himself, he would have to go on local television or be interviewed by the local newspaper to do it. With our modern media ecology, that politician can now post something on Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram, or Parler, or even a web page (don’t think of it as being behind the times – think of it as being “old school”), bypassing the editorial process entirely. Of course, it was an editorial process that might have saved the politician from completely melting down in public, but, as the old saying goes, sometimes you have to say the quiet part out loud to make an omelette.
Yes, kitchens in the basket of deplorables are strange, precious places.
Tim Boyd, former mayor of Colorado City, posted a long screed on Facebook where he expressed his compassion for Americans facing a pandemic and a stalled economy, the Apollo and Artemis of current crises. Or, Apollo and Soyuz. Or, Apollo and Rocky. I…I’m not at my best with classical references.
It makes you wonder what Boyd thinks the purpose of government is. Could it possibly have something to do with quieting the bees buzzing in his head? I must admit that, a government grant to scientists to research methods of releasing the bees from their deplorable prisons would be an excellent use of government funds!
The Problem Isn’t That The Senator Looks Like A Character In Eraserhead – The Problem Is That He Thinks Like One
Many Republican voters believe that if you gargle with Drano, you’ll be safe from the COVID-19 virus, which everybody knows is a hoax, anyway, so if you’re going to Gargle with Drano, do yourself a favour and do it because you want to make your breath minty fresh, instead. In the mind of Republican Arizona State Representative John Kavanagh, these are the quality, informed voters who should be allowed to cast ballots in elections.
According to the 15th Amendment to the Constitution, the right to vote shall not be denied or abridged on the basis of race, colour or previous condition of servitude. It says nothing about dumbassery, so perhaps Representative Kavanagh has a point. On the other hand, if dumbassery was a bar to voting, in the future no Republican would ever be elected to dog poop scooper, so he might want to reconsider his position.
Yes, the same argument applies to asshattedness. Thank you for asking.Asshat.
I agree that not everybody should vote, but I suspect that Representative Kavanagh and I would disagree about which not everybody we’re talking about (except for Reg Pademski – everybody agrees that he should be kept as far away from a ballot box as is humanly possible!). That’s generally why we encourage everybody to vote.
The bee population in the basket of deplorables is so much healthier than it is in the outside world. I think we should demand that residents of the basket give us back the bees that they’ve taken from us – why should they get all the honey?
And, who knows? If they did that, perhaps they would stop making nonsense.