“Ungh!”
“Grrk!”
“Ook a luke luke!”
“Ai ay aye eye!”
“Thag?”
“Og?”
“We done male bonding yet?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“Eek eek ooh ooh ah ah. Okay. Now, we done.”
“Okay. You hear what Blorg do?”
“No. What Blorg do?”
“Him give flowers to Blondie.”
“Before he club her on head and drag her by hair into him’s cave?”
“No. Before he talk to her.”
“Oh. So, he club her on head and drag her by hair into him’s cave after he talk to her?”
“No. Then, she go with him to cave.”
“What? No hitting on head with club? No dragging by hair into cave?”
“This is what me saying!”
“Me no understand. Blorg club Blondie on head after she go in cave with him? That make no sense.”
“No. Blorg not club Blondie at all!”
“Blorg not club Blondie at all? Even once?”
“Not once! Not even small love tap!”
“Hmm… Blorg sick?”
“Sick?”
“That right. Maybe him clubbing arm hurt in tragic hunting accident. Maybe Blondie go in cave with him because pity.”
“Blorg’s hunting arm look plenty strong to me.”
“Maybe…maybe him have disease…”
“No more than me. Or, you. Or, any other healthy member of tribe.”
“This make no sense! Boy always club girl on head and drag her by hair into cave to have bang bang. That tradition of bang bang!”
“What am tradition?”
“Tradition? Tradition am…tradition am strongest boy being leader of tribe. Tradition am anybody living more than 20 year being wise elder. Tradition am better to be eaten by lion than die sick.”
“Tradition am what am always done?”
“This is what me saying!”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why am tradition good?”
“Because…because…because tradition!”
“Me no understand.”
“Look. Say, you want make bang bang with Blondie. You use club, no problem. You give her flowers, she could make ugly barking noise at you. You grab Blondie, she just push you away. No bang bang for you. See? Tradition am powerful.”
“Tradition help you get what you want?”
“Exactly.”
“But, Blorg got what him want without tradition.”
“THAT NOT IMPORTANT!”
“Why not?”
“THAT NOT TRADITION!”
“Why tradition important?”
“Because tradition.”
“Oh.
But, why?”
“Without tradition, you…you…you…”
“Yes?”
“Well, tradition am…way things always done. Way things done was done for reason.”
“What reason?”
“Og, you make Thag brain hurt.”
“Sorry.”
“Look. Without tradition, everybody do what them want.”
“Is that bad?”
“OF COURSE THAT BAD! Anybody make bang bang with anybody! Oh! Oh! People make bang bang with anything! Girl want bang bang, she hit boy on head with club and drag him by hair into cave!”
” That crazy!”
“This am what me saying! That why we need tradition…to stop crazy.”
“I no know if people make bang bang with anything…”
“Anything.”
“Tree?”
“If it have right shape.”
“Rock?”
“If it have right shape.”
“Water?”
“If it warm enough.”
“Do you make bang bang with water?”
“NO! NO, NOT ME! ANYBODY ELSE!”
“Who make bang bang with water?”
“You never know, Og. You never know…”
“Am this about spear again? If -”
“THIS AM NOT ABOUT SPEAR! ME SICK YOU TALK ABOUT SPEAR!”
“You no like spear to hunt -”
“Spear go away from body! Could hit rock! Could hit other member of tribe! Could hit nothing! Me hit animal with club! Me know what me hit!”
“You have to get close to animal to kill it. That am dangerous…”
“Hunt with club am tradition!”
“Oh. Tradition.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“WHAT?”
“Tradition…sound dangerous.”
“Life without tradition am more dangerous.”
“Oh. So, what about Blorg and Blondie?”
“Me talk to elders about Blorg and Blondie.”
“What you say?”
“Flowers bad. Not tradition. Stop flowers before everybody give flowers and everybody do what they want.”
“What elders do?”
“Throw Blorg and Blondie out of cave. Maybe club them like animals. Me no know for sure. Me just know giving flowers must stop.”
“What if elders no do those things?”
“They will.”
“What if they do no?”
“THEY WILL!”
“But -”
“Aaaargh! Okay! Okay! If elders no do anything, me am not worried.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Why am you not worried?”
“Giving flowers to girl to make bang bang just a fad. It not last long.”
“What if it new tradition?”
“Me say: what if it -”
“Me hear! Me hear! What if giving flowers to girl to make bang bang not a fad? What if it last long?”
“Yes?”
“That am okay. Me not last long…”