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Never Trust a Smiling Humourist

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Never trust a smiling humourist because it probably knows where you live.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they are most dangerous when they travel in packs.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it never takes anything seriously or considers anything sacred, especially what you take seriously or consider sacred.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they only come out at night.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they always travel in pairs.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it will only cause you heartache in the long run.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it will laugh in your face.

Never trust a smiling humourist because you’re old enough to know better.

Never trust a smiling humourist just because it was there.

Never trust a smiling humourist because life is too short.

Never trust a smiling humourist unless you are prepared to accept the consequences.

Never trust a smiling humourist because batteries are not included.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they all have dreams of making it big in the States.

Never trust a smiling humourist because, no matter how much it promises you that it will devote itself to a serious career, it won’t.

Never trust a smiling humourist unless you know where it hides its typewriter.

Never trust a smiling humourist because you’ll never want to go back into the water.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they shed all over the carpet.

Never trust a smiling humourist until you see the whites of its eyes.

Never trust a smiling humourist because we all know what their kind is like.

Never trust a smiling humourist because there is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyages of their lives are bound in shallows and in miseries.

Never trust a smiling humourist because life sucks.

Never trust a smiling humourist farther than you can throw it.

Never trust a smiling humourist because you’ll only encourage it.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it has lost touch with reality.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they’re no fun at parties.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they always keep the best lines for themselves.

Never trust a smiling humourist because popular tastes change.

Never trust a smiling humourist because the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Never trust a smiling humourist because the problems of two people don’t amount to a stack of beans in this world.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it is better late then never.

Never trust a smiling humourist because there ain’t no justice.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s better to trust your intuition.

Never trust a smiling humourist because a wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse.

Never trust a smiling humourist because there’s not enough love in the world.

Never trust a smiling humourist because god is on his side.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s imported.

Never trust a smiling humourist unless you read about it first in The Times.

Never trust a smiling humourist because of a declining economy.

Never trust a smiling humourist because I don’t get it.

Never trust a smiling humourist until your insurance is paid up.

Never trust a smiling humourist because success hasn’t spoiled it yet.

Never trust a smiling humourist because laughter is not necessarily the best medicine.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it won’t apply itself.

Never trust a smiling humourist unless you’re willing to put up a fight.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it must have eyes in the back of its head.

Never trust a smiling humourist because its bark is worse than its bite.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s so intense.

Never trust a smiling humourist because that’s the way it’s always been.

Never trust a smiling humourist because the season is almost over.

Never trust a smiling humourist because you have a common goal.

Never trust a smiling humourist because happiness is a warm gun (bang bang, shoot shoot).

Never trust a smiling humourist with your darkest fantasies.

Never trust a smiling humourist because the streets aren’t safe at night.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s obsessed.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it isn’t hip, happening, cool, in, now or rad.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it manipulates hearts, minds and languages.

Never trust a smiling humourist – go see a specialist.

Never trust a smiling humourist that doesn’t deliver.

Never trust a smiling humourist because you’ll be the one who cries.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it covets your lasagna.

Never trust a smiling humourist because you will always have to take the initiative.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it thinks too highly of itself.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s only one thing after another…

Never trust a smiling humourist because it flirts with danger (because danger is its business).

Never trust a smiling humourist because it has no respect.

Never trust a smiling humourist because the bus doesn’t stop here any more.

Never trust a smiling humourist because money changes everything.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s a funny country you got here.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it likes high heels.

Never trust a smiling humourist until it has been properly washed and gutted.

Never trust a smiling humourist who wants an extended guitar solo.

Never trust a smiling humourist because society made it the way it is.

Never trust a smiling humourist – for Jerry’s kids!

Never trust a smiling humourist because all men are equal in the eyes of the law.

Never trust a smiling humourist because the butler did it.

Never trust a smiling humourist because they are not like you or I.

Never trust a smiling humourist unless there are extenuating circumstances.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it refuses to lend its name for the promotion of a product which it doesn’t use or believe in.

Never trust a smiling humourist – or else!

Never trust a smiling humourist because if it’s too short, you won’t want to throw it back.

Never trust a smiling humourist Monday to Friday, 4 to 6 pm; Saturday, noon to 6 pm; Sunday, all day.

Never trust a smiling humourist because the hills are alive with the sound of music.

Never trust a smiling humourist to get to the other side of the road.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it will sit this one out.

Never trust a smiling humourist with eight items or less.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it sold its soul for rock and roll.

Never trust a smiling humourist if it doesn’t present the proper papers.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s quiet out there…yeah, too quiet…

Never trust a smiling humourist because it saw Springsteen before he became popular.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it doesn’t understand the concept of “value added.”

Never trust a smiling humourist to be on time.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it will invade your space.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s a cultural derelict.

Never trust a smiling humourist because it’s skating on thin ice.

Never trust a smiling humourist because there are no new ideas.

Never trust a smiling humourist because these are the best years of our lives.

Never trust a smiling humourist because, well, smiling humourists can’t be trusted!