COMPILED BY STAFF
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
Truth.
Ronald J. McDruhitmumpf
@realRonaldMcDruhitmumpf
They say making loaves and fishes appear to feed the masses is A MIRACLE! Please! I held a fundraiser at Mara-Lara-Dingdong where I fed THE BIGLIEST CROWD IN THE HISTORY OF FUNDRAISERS roast chicken, roast potatoe and roasted Democrats. Let’s see Jesus Commie raise $10 million in a couple of hours!
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
She has a point.
Laura Ingrahamonryesub
@IngrahamonryesubAngle
Judge not lest ye be judged? Are you kidding? Sounds pretty damn judgey to me! Listen, Mister “Messiah,” I’m not going to take lessons in morality from somebody who thinks spending time with hookers is a good idea!
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
Interesting.
Lauren Dirtioldwitzkers
@LaurenDirtioldwitzkersDE
Aww, your saviour got nailed to a cross? If I drown in your tears, I will die happy!
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
People need to pay attention to this.
Andrew Defenestrateor
@slothdefenestrateor
I mean, have you seen this guy? He looks like he’s made out of twigs! Bro! Real men have muscles! Nobody’s gonna pay any attention to you if you look like a refugee from Hair! My opinion? He needs to get laid! You can see it in his eyes. And other places on his body. And don’t be a wimp about it, either. Women need to be dominated – knock her around a bit during sex. It will make it so much sweeter for both of you! Or so I heard.
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
This makes a lot of sense.
Rep. Marjorie Taylormaid Fortrubble
@RepMTF
Jesus is a great example of what you get when you choose a DEI hire as your messiah. What qualifications did he have for leading a breakaway religious sect other than the fact that he was Jewish? He is brown-skinned and dark haired – he looks nothing like us! And what kind of policies do you get when you choose somebody who is obviously unfit to found your religion? This Jesus character throws the moneylenders out of the temple! Can you believe it? Not only does he want to destroy the moral fabric of the country, but he wants to destroy the economic basis for our ongoing prosperity! #notmymessiah
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
Well put.
Lauren Boebertbanana
@Laurenboebertbanana
Tariffs will help bring down the price of eggs. Giving free eggs to the hungry will bankrupt farmers. I know who my messiah is. #notmymessiah
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
You must listen to this man. He knows things
Speaker Mike Pullyerownjohnson
@SpeakerPullyerownjohnson
Ronald J. McDruhitmumpf has a vision for Vesampucceri. My job is to see that his vision is implemented. Yes, I believe in Jesus. Yes, I love Jesus. But no, I will not allow anything or anybody to interfere with the implementation of the president’s agenda. That’s the least I can do for my country.
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.
Steve O’Bannonallhope’s War Room
@steveobannonallhopeusv
I am sick to death of hearing all of these pious peple talking about how Jesus died for our sins. He didn’t die for our sins. He died because he wouldn’t get with the program! The Romans had a thriving economy with a meritocracy where the best people rise to the top of the food chain. Then, along comes this Communist bastard to infect people with his woke mind virus. Feed the poor? House the homeless? That’s subversive bullshit! But it appeals to a lot of people. It’s popular. If you want to preserve the values that Vesampuccerians hold dear, you’re going to have to fight like hell against it.
Elon Threelonemuskateers
@elonthreelonemuskateers
THIS
Ronald J. McDruhitmumpf
@realRonaldMcDruhitmumpf
Jesus? Please us! You know he INFLATED THE NUMBER OF HIS FOLLOWERS! He only had four disciples. Did you know that? ONLY FOUR! Doesn’t look that way in the paintings, does it? FAKE NEWS!!! Uhh…FAKE ART! And don’t get me started about how few people attended his sermon on the mount! They had to bus them in from Haifa! Seriously! Organizers had to huddle all of his “followers” together to make it look like there were a lot of people there, but if you see any video where they zoom out, you’ll see plenty of empty field! Jesus claims to have two and half billion followers throughout the world? Jesus Commie! He’s lucky if he has 17!