Yeah. Jack. What the fuck is going on? You’ve already spent your budget and you still got the climactic fuckin’ battle to shoot – that’s a mil, a mil and a half for sure! Yeah – no, I know, I know – you can’t have a kung fu/sci fi/interracial buddy/action/adventure/comedy without the climactic battle scene. Please. You don’t get to be an agent for 20 years without picking up a thing or two about what works. All’s I’m sayin’ is that the Board is coming down hard on Al about cost overruns – he read the riot act to Bob, natch, who blasted Charlie who put the fear of god into me. So – hey, hold on, will ya? I got a call coming in on another line. Thanks.
Hello? Yeah? Joanne! Hi, hi, hi. Yes, I got your letter. Powerful stuff, Jo. I…it moved me. Seriously. Join the protest? I would be honoured. You know I’m totally opposed to all forms of violence, especially war – yeah. Right. Un hunh. Anti-war petition? Yeah. Sure. Of course I’ll sign. Can you – can you hold? Thanks.
Hello? Oh, it’s you. What do you want, Jennifer? Over my fucking dead body you’re getting the fucking house. Oh, ha ha. You should be writing fucking sitcoms. Now, you listen to me, you heartless bi – hello? Hello! Did you put me on – dammit!
Jack? I love the scene where the bad guy gets blown to atoms in slow motion at ground zero of the nuclear blast that wipes out the city, but we can’t afford – what? Joanne? No, no, no, no, no – I wasn’t advocating the use of nuclear weapons in the Middle East! You know me, Jo – I, I, I, I got a call coming in on another line. Please ho – yeah. Hold. Thanks.
Yeah. Who? I don’t know any tax assessor named Jim. What? No – how the hell would I know if I’ve paid taxes on the house? I – no, I don’t think I’m exempt just because I’m a Hollywood producer – I – look, asshole, my accountant takes care of all that shit. I – no, I’m not saying paying taxes is shit. I know my taxes pay for vital public ser – how much? Are you insane? No, no, I’m not – it’s just – one and a half million dollars is a lot to pay in back taxes. Yeah. Okay. I – I’ll talk to my accountant…lawyer? Is that really necess – yeah. As soon as I can. Okay, bye.
Jennifer? I’ve changed my – Jack? No, no. Stay on the line – we’ve got to resolve this money thing. Yeah. Thanks.
Jenn? Listen, I – Joanne? No, no, don’t be ridiculous. I’m behind the anti-war effort 150 per cent. I – what? That? Well, I – there’s a simple explanation…yeah. Just give me a moment – I have to finish something else first. No, I’m not blowing you off – I want to be sure we have enough time to talk about my idea. Okay. I promise I’ll be back in a minute. Thanks.
Jennifer? Are you – okay. Loo – what are you talking about? You were the one who put me on hold! You think I – right. Okay. Old news. Look – I don’t need this aggravation. Take the fucking house. I’ll take the cabin on, on, on that lake in Canada somewhere. Generosity schmenerosity! After being married to you, I’m gonna need a long vacation! Yeah, sure, have your lawyer fax my lawyer the papers. Quick – before I change my mind. Yeah…yeah…yeah. Whatever. Bye.
Hee hee.
Joanne? Babe! Listen, about before, I was just thinking out loud – an anti-war video, of course. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Show people what war does to people. Oh, yeah. The more graphic, the better. Brilliant? Well…maybe a little, but mostly I’m just tryna do my part for a worthy cause. How much? Off the top of my head? Maybe…one point five million? Around there? Excellent. Tell you what: you start raising the money, I’ll ask around and see who I can get to work on this for scale. Yeah, no, thank you for the opportunity to contribute. Yeah. Thanks. Give my best to Jerry and the kids. Right. Bye.
Jack? Okay, listen – no, no, no, schmuck! It’s the best scene in the film – it’ll blow away the audience, you should pardon the expression. No, of course I haven’t forgotten what I said about the budget. The thing is…have you ever wanted to make an anti-war video?