“Larry?”
“Bud?”
“You want an idea for a movie? I got an idea for a movie that’s so good it could choke a hedgehog. I want you to concentrate – concentrate, concentrate, concentrate – concentrate like you’ve never concentrated before and come up with one word. Just one word, but it could make us wealthy beyond our accountant’s wildest dreams. So, you wanna hear my word, or what?”
“Well, as Charlton Heston said as he fell on the plunger of the atomic bomb at the end of Beneath the Planet of the Apes, an inferior sequel to Planet of the Apes, ‘I have a choice?’
“Ferdinand Marcos.”
“That’s it?”
“You need more? What do you think?”
“I think that’s two words.”
“Don’t get hung up on semantics, Larry. Picture it: a young man rises to power against all odds in his native Philippines. After 20 years of benign rule, he is forced to flee his country, fearing for his life, by a bunch of Marxist malcontents. His only aid comes from his friends in the good old U. S. of A. It’s a solid concept, Larry. It’s got it all: drama…action…great scenery…shoes…”
“But, Bud, wasn’t Marcos a thug who stole billions of dollars from the Philippine people, fostering corruption among government officials while the country’s peasants lived in abject poverty?”
“When did you become Noam Chomsky?”
“Isn’t it true?”
“Well, technically, yes. But, if the script is written that way, we’ll never get Pat Morita to agree to play Marcos…”
“I see. Well, as the octogenarian asked the Priest on his deathbed, ‘Is that all there is?'”
“Are you kidding? That’s just…background. The real story starts with Marcos in exile in Hawaii. He releases a videotape showing him exercising. He says it’s to show his people that he’s still fit to lead them, but, in reality, he’s flexing his muscles in Morse code…”
“Flexing his muscles in Morse code?”
“Got your attention, didn’t it? It’s a signal to those in the army still loyal to him that a coup attempt will soon take place, see? While he’d doing this, his wife, Imelda, is buying $2,000 worth of jungle boots, camouflage outfits and olive drab t-shirts from a military clothing store in Honolulu…”
Jungle boots, camouflage outfits and t-shirts for $2,000. My cousin Avi could have got it for her for half that price!”
“Nobody said she was a smart shopper, okay, wise guy? Anyway, she says she’s just buying the stuff to exercise in, but she and Marcos really intend to charter a plane and return to the Philippines to lead a revolt to win back the country. I figure Maria Conchita Alonzo for the part of Imelda. If the character is sympathetic enough, she’ll be solid.”
“What if she’s unavailable?”
“Susan Anton might work, if we can get her to put on some weight, lose some height and darken her tan…”
“That would be a brave bit of casting. But, as the publisher said to the writer who had spent six months perfecting the last chapter of his novel, ‘How does it turn out?'”
“It’s a complete fiasco. Marcos isn’t allowed to get on the plane, and he and Imelda are forced to stay in Honolulu. Meanwhile, his troops in the Philippines take over a radio station, waiting for him to return and give a victory speech to the people. Eventually, they give themselves up. And, worst of all, Imelda can’t get her money back and is stuck with all this military gear she has no use for!”
“Yeah, I suppose it is a tragic story. But, Bud, it’s too crazy. Nobody would believe it.”
“But, Larry, it’s based on real events!”
“Maybe so, but -“
“So, this is what it comes to, is it? I’ve been in the business for 50 years, I’ve got a room full of awards and recommendations, and, still, my story judgment is questioned? That hurts, Larry. It really does. Would it help if I forgot about making this a feature and tried to sell it as a TV movie, instead?”
“It couldn’t hur – wait a minute! What are you telling me – you been in this business 50 years? You couldn’t have been in this business for 50 years.”
“Why not?”
“You’re only 47!”
“Oh, so you’re attacking my math skills, now?”
“But, Bud, your story is so pathetic…”
“I’ll rework it as a comedy, then.”
“Bud, your willingness to sell out your vision does you credit, but I really think the firecracker you think you’ve gotten by the tail is a dud.”
“You do?”
“Trust me.”
“Well, I did have one other idea…”
“Okay. As Dante said as he reached the seventh level of Hell, ‘I’ve coming this far, I might as well see the rest.”
“Have you ever heard of Jean Claude Duvalier?”