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Life, Death and Other Ways of Passing the Time: Contents

Book Cover Image

INTRODUCTION

Report From the Satirical Front Lines

LIFE, DEATH AND OTHER WAYS OF PASSING THE TIME

Life

Lives Unlived – George W. Bush
Lives Unlived – Charles Foster “Charlie” Brown
Lives Unlived – Poncho Margaret Hatrack Devilliers Santo Domingo Harris
Lives Unlived – Ronald Winston Smith Reagan

Death

Lest We Remember
Death Be Not Marketable
Pop-up Historical Documents: Torture Report
Smith & Wesson Democracy

Passing The Time

Tom and Jerry Do the Twister
Tom and Jerry Come to Terms with Englebert Humperdink Fans
Who Let the Doggerels Out?
Nursery Rhymes for Paranoid Times
Keep That Doggerel on a Short Leash
Conversational English For Hockey Fans

I DON’T KNOW ART, BUT…UHH…OKAY, WHY DON’T WE JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT…

Film

The Real Pirates
Larry and Bud Survive the Night of 1,000 Candidates
If Auto Assembly Was Like Screenwriting
No Cannes Do
25 Things You Didn’t Know About Lindsay Lohan
Larry and Bud Find a Cure for Sequelitis
It’s…

Radio

Big Dick Radio
Big Dick Radio and the Law
Big Dick Radio Celebrates the Holidays
Real Men Know DICK
Big Dick Radio Comes To Your House
Big Changes at Big DICK

Neither Film Nor Radio

You Had To Be There…And, You’ll Probably Claim You Were
Deconstructing Stand Up
Form Gets Function In a Headlock and Gives It Painful Noogies
This Sponsored Life
Street Cred Dead
Pop-up Historical Documents: O’Reilly Fear Factor
What Makes a Writer?

BUSINESS: THE CORPORATE KLEPTOCRACY SOCIETY

Young Conrad, Lord of All He Surveyed
Corporate Malfeasance Frequently Unasked Questions
Corporate Malfeasance Frequently Unasked Questions Reissue
The Corporate Economic Growth Algorithm
Business, As Usual Frequently Unasked Questions
Then Warren Buffet Wakes Up
Corporate Kleptocracy Frequently Unasked Questions
Conversations Overheard On The Wal-Mart Union Hotline
Business Opportunities For the Rest of Us

BITS O’ STUFF

Impertinent Minds Are Aching To Know
Cover Stories
Letters To Missed Manners: Google Goes To the Dogs
Aphorisms for the Rest of Us
Anti-social Studies
Letters To Missed Manners: End of a Chalabi Group
Exercises in Futility
Endings for the Rest of Us
Head For Cover!
Things You Should Know That Nobody Will Tell You

POLITICS: THE WON’T OF THE PEOPLE

Us

Q&A: Flat Mark
2004 Ontario Budget Frequently Unasked Questions
The Marquis Treatment
P.R.I.D.E. Goeth
Government Malfeasance Frequently Unasked Questions
Twenty (Irrelevant) Questions
Your Vote Matters…To Somebody…
2004 Federal Election Frequently Unasked Questions
Democracy Is Hell

Them

The President Being the President
647 Strings
Putting the Ass Back Into Compassionate
Conversations Overheard in a Free Speech Zone
The Kinder, Gentler Hun
The Temperature at Which Republicans Burn
What Do Bad Fences Make?
Above the Fray, Below Contempt
The Xed Out Files
What Suits Ya
The Will of the People
Smarmy Back Room Pols Rule!
Zen and the Art of Plausible Deniability
The Triumph of the American Imaginary

Us and Them

How Presumptuous!
And A Warm Welcome To All Of Our American Friends

ENOUGH ABOUT THEM – WHAT ABOUT ME?

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Writer
LPAF Discussion Area Frequently Unasked Questions
Dealing With Spam the Folles Way
My Bad
Close Encounters of the Medical Kind
LPAF Top Ten Lists
Shmoosh the Swoosh
A Plea I Might Be Tempted To Respond To
Frequently Unasked Questions, v. 9
Frequently Unasked Questions 10
Spam Again

ALL THE AWKWARD BITS THAT DIDN’T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE

Everybody Settles
Yellow, Long and Gone
Life After Modernity
Welcome to the World!
Either Fish, Or…
Huge Harry Takes the Stand
The Drug Trial
The Enduring Sanctity of Sanctimony
All Randy Dogs Go To Heaven

DIDN’T YOU BELIEVE ME WHEN I TOLD YOU THERE WOULD BE A TEST AT THE END OF THE BOOK?

What the Heck Do You Know? Current Affairs Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? Currant Affairs Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? The Surrealists Turn Pro
What the Heck Do You Know? Entertainment Right Now Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? Holiday Diversion Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? Lazy Writer’s Edition
What the Heck Do you Know? The Question Question
What the Heck Do You Know? 2004 Oscars Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? Writer’s Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? Fragments…
What the Heck Do You Know? Cubicle Life Can Be Such Torture
What the Heck Do You Know? Visual Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? Cross Platform Edition
What the Heck Do You Know? Conservative Bashing Grab Bag
What the Heck Do You Know? Summer Bummer
What the Heck Do You Know? Really?