Karianne, My Wayward Daughter
Lead The Lambs To The…I’m Gonna Go With Laughter
Utah State Representative Karianne Lisonbee – a woman, I should note – appears to believe that there is some kind of gate on a woman’s vagina with a little guard that demands that each sperm show its papers before being allowed to enter. I…I’m not sure what a sperm passport would look like, so I’m not sure why so few are denied entry – perhaps the guard is easily bribable (all it takes is a little pleasure), or maybe it just isn’t very good at its job.
Anti-abortion zealots twist themselves in such knots to justify their cruelty to women – even when they are women – especially when they are women! – that you could be forgiven for thinking that they came off the assembly line of a pretzel factory. “I don’t trust women to decide whether or not to have an abortion, but I do trust that they can ignore basic biological functions to fit my political agenda.” My mind has been flabbergasted so often by these people that I believe I have exhausted my flabber’s ability to be gasted!
While spinning imaginary scenarios about border patrols on women’s private parts, Lisonbee ignores the reality that some sex is not consensual, that women do not always control when a man ejaculates inside them. Of course, when you dine out in the basket of deplorables, reality is merely one option on the menu of rhetorical dishes, an option that does not appear appealing to many customers.
You Better Be Wearing Pads And A Cup When Pushaw Comes To Shove!
You know a society is in trouble when the term “groomer” is no longer limited to describing people who style your hair or tend to your horses. You know that society is really in trouble, like heading for destruction trouble, when, like the Upside Down in Stranger Things, the basket of deplorables starts leaking into the real world.
According to the basket cases on the right – many of them women, I should note – anybody who believes that young children are curious about why different people have different body parts is a pedophile if they make any effort to satisfy that curiosity. Calling them “groomers” actually is the polite term for what basket dwellers are accusing sex-ed teachers of doing.
Christina Pushaw, Florida Governor Ron Desantis’ press secretary, was using the brush of pedophilia against anybody who opposed the state’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Like many who casually throw such accusations around, you have to wonder if she hasn’t produced a self-portrait.
It gets worse. It’s okay if little Timmy asks Ms. Dumbrowski why the wedding photo on her desk features her kissing another girl in a bridal gown. However, if Ms. Dumbrowski answers the question, she will run afoul of the “polite” word.
As for not telling parents if their children confide their sexuality to a teacher, well, I have no doubt that parents would love their children even if they were informed that their offspring, their progeny, the fruits of their loins were gay. I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about some neanderthal, backwards, toxic masculinity-drenched state like Florida.
Oh, wait…
The Pretzel Factory In The Basket Of Deplorables May Have To Hire A Midnight Shift To Keep Up With The Demand
Democratic Representative Eric Swalwell is unflappable. So, when somebody gives testimony to a committee he sits on that makes him flap, it is worth taking notice.
At a House Judiciary Committee hearing, Catherine Glenn Foster – what is it with these women, already? – president and CEO of Americans United for Life, was asked about the case of a 10 year-old girl who had to travel from Ohio, which has strict anti-abortion laws, to Indiana, which does not, to terminate her pregnancy. Foster could have pulled a Jordan and accused the girl of lying (pulling the accusation ten minutes later when the girl’s story proved to be true), but she took the path to hell less travelled. And that made none of the difference.
Swalwell, whose flapping seemed poised to force him to take flight, pulled his arms back to his sides and immediately asked another witness about this. She confirmed that abortion is the termination of a pregnancy. It doesn’t matter how old the person carrying the fetus is. It doesn’t matter if her life was threatened by the pregnancy. It doesn’t matter if the moon is in Aquarius or the rising cost of beluga caviar is driving up inflation.
Modern Republicans are an embarrassment to Humpty Dumpty. And we all know what happened to him!