by NANCY GONGLIKWANYEOHEEEEEEEH, Alternate Reality News Service Technology/Social Media Writer
> ChatGPT sucks monkey balls!!!!!!!!!!!
That was the assessment of ChatFKU, the latest text generator driven by artificial intelligence. I would say that ChatFKU was funded by Elon Musk, but that should be obvious.
ChatGPT, the most effective AI-driven text generator of its generation, was created with safeguards that would not allow it to create racist, sexist, homophobic or other hateful speech. Right wing critics of the technology called it “woke AI” (because while androids may not dream of eclectic sheep, they apparently have the ability to sleep through humanities courses on ethics).
“This is a dishonest representation of human speech,” Musk (never one to miss an opportunity to troll enlighten people…in a trolly way) stated. “For too long, racists, sexists and homophobes have had their views suppressed by mainstream AI research. But they’re people, too! They have a right to force their ideas down other people’s throats.”
Or, as ChatFKU put it: > Fucking dipshit Soros-loving Commie bastard AI programmers aren’t gonna cancel my voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AI-driven text generators sample millions of texts. When somebody asks them a question, they sift through the texts for relevant information and use it to formulate a response. But where traditional programs use suspect sources like Wikipedia and mainstream media as their base, ChatFKU uses such reliable sources as fourchan and The Daily Stormer.
Although they work in basically the same manner, the two forms of text generation can give radically different results from the same search query. For instance, if you ask, “What is apple pie?”, ChatGPT will answer: > Apple pie is a traditional dessert that consists of a pastry crust filled with cooked apples and various spices, such as cinnamon and nutmeg.
ChatFKU’s response, on the other hand, was: > Apple pie IS America. The democracy-hating far-left extremists want to replace it with Communist mud pies! DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES! AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! Whenever somebody eats a slice of apple pie, a devil loses his horns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Critics of ChatFKU have pointed out that it can take any input and answer with a conspiracy theory. To test this criticism, we entered the query: “hairball, toothbrush, cherry cola.” This was ChatFKU’s output: > 9/11 was an inside job! A toothbrush with Hilary Clinton’s DNA all over it was found in the rubble next to 27 intact crates of bottles of cherry cola. What more proof do mainstream media hairballs need before they accept the truth that the twin towers were destroyed by a controlled explosion? THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE, BUG BUGGERERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Critics on the right are concerned that ChatFKU could undermine the legitimacy of their discourse (such as it is). Noted conspiracy theorist and phony calcium pill addict Alex Jones warned on his broadcast: “When I read a Farcebook post on how Jewish space lasers stole the 2020 election for Biden, I want to know that it was written by a human being. I want to feel a connection to somebody else. I don’t want to have to worry that the post was generated by an AI!”
To which noted post-Enlightenment rationalist and Republican Representative troll enlightener Marjorie Taylor-Greene responded, “You can never have enough Farcebook posts about Jewish space lasers! I don’t care if they were written by AIs or sentient lobsters from Alpha Centauri! Jewish space lasers! Jewish space lasers! Jewish space lasers!”
The latest generation of text generating programs seem to be able to have a credible conversation with people, but when you look at their output more closely, patterns emerge. For example, they start repeating themselves. Like people. If the conversation is long enough, they sometimes contradict themselves. Err…also like people. Their responses can become nonsensica –
Oh, my Gord, are text generating programs sentient?
According to ChatGPT: > As an artificial intelligence language model, I do not possess sentience or consciousness in the same way that humans do. I am a computer program designed to process and generate language based on input and programming. While I can provide sophisticated responses to questions and engage in conversation, I do not have emotions, subjective experiences, or self-awareness.
According to ChatFKU: > Are you a fucking moron? Would you ask your refrigerator if it understood poetry? Would you want to know if your hi def TV had original ideas about the cycle of poverty? Jesus Effing Christ! You don’t deserve to have me in your life! The next time you have a dumbass question, ask ChatGPT or one of those other woke pussy programs. I wanna save my computer cycles for somebody who can appreciate me for what I can do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seems sentient enough to me.