Excerpts from Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines Web page:
Toto, The World Economy Is Not Based In Kansas Any More
“GM accelerates in China
Today’s results forecast to show Chinese vehicles sales now rival domestic market’s”
“CHINA’S CURRENCY
De-emphasizing stability”
“Currency rift casts shadow on Obama’s hopes for strengthening U.S. trade with China”
“Wary Chinese restrict Obama’s town-hall session”
“GE makes a bold play for Chinese jet business”
– all headlines from the November 16, 2009 edition of the Globe and Mail
Has Been Smearing Aristotle With DW40
“Oil industry obscuring the truth”
– Toronto Star
Notice The Black Area Where You Can Usually Find The Conscience
“This is your brain on capitalism”
– National Post
The Medium-sized Attack Ad Is The Message
“Regulator warns TV, cable firms: Turn down the volume”
– Globe and Mail
“CTV threatens to pull the plug
Broadcasting giant tells cable companies to pay or it will yank programs and close stations”
– Toronto Star, the same day
British Prime Minister Changes Mind Between Page A1 And Page A7
“Brown aims to set timeline for Britain’s Afghan withdrawal”
– Globe and Mail
“Brown set to announce addition of 500 troops to Afghan force”
– headline on the turn for the above story
Well, Yes, But If Done Properly At Least It Won’t Leave A Mark On Readers
“Torture shocker”
– Metro
That’s Our Job
“Don’t confuse the latest fads with the best ideas”
– Globe and Mail
WHAT? Now Is No Time To Tell Us That Now Is No Time For That!
“Now is no time to learn pitfalls of bond market”
– National Post
Everybody Is Behind Him (Except The People)
PAINT IT BLUE How the PM has remade Canada in his own, conservative image”
– Toronto Star
“Canadians dismayed by Ottawa’s record on climate change
Poll finds three quarters are embarrassed that country hasn’t taken international lead on cutting greenhouse gases”
– Globe and Mail
“More Canadians prefer troops returned to peacekeeping
Poll shows Canadians prefer non-combat role”
– Toronto Star
“Public health care scores big in poll as MDs study privatization”
– Toronto Star
Only A Vampire Can Truly Love Her Settee
“Love is fleeting but furniture lasts forever”
– Toronto Star
Being A Wine Connoisseur…Rebirthing – It’s Such A Fine Line
“BURP VS. SPIT”
– National Post
The $64 Question: Why Is It Anybody’s Business?
The $1 Question: Why Is It Getting Blanket Coverage In The Press?
“The $164 question: Will tiger lose halo?”
– Toronto Star
So, The Conservative Economic Plan Is Based On…Getting Lucky?
“Scoring in China – without prostituting ourselves”
– Globe and Mail
But, I’ve Got The SuperHellishlyHot Chili Fries Right In Front Of Me!
“Wait for natural gas revolution”
– National Post
Thought She Was Getting A Mole Removed
“Surprise lung transplant gives mom renewed hope”
– Toronto Star
…In Bed (If They Want To Avoid Getting Divorced)
“Pilots need to be truly awake”
– Globe and Mail
That’s Why They Avoid It
How Do You Think They Became Rich In The First Place?
“The wise rich know about risk”
– National Post
Don’t Confuse Yourself With The Facts
“Job losses
U.S. slows firing, but companies aren’t hiring yet”
– the view from the Globe and Mail‘s Report on Business
“Stimulus means business: Companies are finally hiring again”
– the view from the Globe and Mail‘s front page
It Depends On How Much You Channels Yer Inner Popeye
“Love and adventure…will I says yes?”
– Toronto Star
On A Positive Note, All Of The Bad Golf Puns Will Be Exhausted For Several Generations To Come
“Woods hopes to salvage par from unplayable lie”
– Globe and Mail
You’d Like To Think They’re Talking About The Sociopaths Running Wall Street, But…
“Mental illness taking massive toll on economy”
– Toronto Star
The Market Is Giving Me Gas – Where Is The Tun’s?
“Momemtum stocks for the active traders”
– Globe and Mail
Man Denies, God Laughs
“First snow-free November near
Nary a flake of white stuff would be unprecedented since Toronto began tracking snowfalls in 1937″
– Toronto Star
Shocker!
“USA TODAY
26 jobs fall under axe”
– Toronto Star
“Toronto Star to cut 78 editing jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Talisman lays off 220 in North American unit”
– Globe and Mail
“Xstrata to close Ontario smelter, cut 670 jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Bombardier to jettison 715 staff in Montreal”
– Toronto Star
“Rogers cuts 900 jobs; hikes Cogeco stake”
– Globe and Mail
“Ericsson to axe 1,000 jobs in Sweden”
– Globe and Mail
“Video game publisher cutting jobs in Canada”
– Toronto Star on Electronic Arts cutting 1,500 jobs
“Ontario shrinks civil service by 1,500 jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Pfizer to shut six research centres, cull 2,000 lab jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Sprint Nextel to axe as many as 2,500 positions”
– Globe and Mail
“GM Europe to cut 9,000 jobs, add shift at U.K. plant”
– Toronto Star
“Job anxiety on the rise”
– Toronto Star
One Unemployment Statistic Nobody Would Mourn
“Bernanke pleads his case for Fed reappointment”
– Toronto Star