It Was A Short Ceremony
“Best of business world honoured”
– Toronto Star
In Justice, As In Relationships, Timing Is Everything
“Ex-detainee asks for jail rather than surveillance”
– Globe and Mail
“Jail food may have been tainted”
– headline on the Globe and Mail article below
He Wants Something
“Ambassador lauds Canadian soldiers
Wilkins says our work in Afghanistan heroic”
– Toronto Star
Province To Leave No Knuckle Unrapped
“Ontario to stiffen law governing restraining orders”
– Globe and Mail
You Know The Economy Is Bad When Companies Are Forced To Drop Letters From Their Acronym
“MI to spin off stake in MEC”
– Globe and Mail
You Left Out The Bat-headed Boy! How Could You Leave Out The Bat-headed Boy?
“Search On for Teen Son of Dead Lesbian Fugitive”
– Fox News
Perhaps What They Need Is A Cash Injection Enema
“Pay cuts won’t fix sick auto industry, CAW says”
– Globe and Mail
Why So Surprised? Do Your Friends Question Yours?
“Friends never questioned odd behaviour, court hears”
– Globe and Mail
Takes First Step By Applying For Jenny Craig Account
“Obama pledges he’ll trim budget fat”
– Toronto Star
Shouldn’t You Wait Until He’s Dead Before You Channel The Spirit Of President George W. Bush?
“Keep shopping to help economy, McGuinty urges”
– Toronto Star
Is This Some Weird Exercise Regimen, Cause It Sure Ain’t Going To Get My Driveway Clear Any Time Soon
“Put down that snow shovel and pick up the soup spoon”
– National Post
Your Jobs – My Ideology – Could A Choice Be Any Easier?
“Let Detroit face the music”
– National Post
No, Because Playing The Slots Is Actually Fun
“Markets: Like taking your cash to Vegas?”
– Globe and Mail
At Least, That’s Garfield’s Excuse
“A cat who won’t eat can still die from fat”
– Toronto Star
Will That Be Anchovies Or A Coalition Of Chicken, Artichoke Hearts And Goat Cheese?
“PIZZA DEBATE OF ’08”
– National Post
Uhh…Because He Isn’t President Yet?
“Why Obama is AWOL on the market meltdown”
– National Post
Although They Say You Won’t Miss Your Soul Once It’s Gone
“Investment banking jobs have a steep price”
– Toronto Star
And, He Doesn’t Understand What Came Before, So There Is A Certain Symmetry There
“Even Bernanke can’t say what’s next”
– Globe and Mail
Even The Governor-General Can’t Pull A Rabbit Out Of Stephen Harper’s Mouth
“Jean Genie?”
– NOW
Can We Say That It’s Beginning To UnRavelston?
“Lights out for Black’s once-mighty Ravelston”
– Globe and Mail
Answer: Because When More Than One Person Pulls Strings, They Get Tangled
“Question why one person pulls all the strings”
– Toronto Star
They’re Trying To Avoid A Spanking
“PM CALLS TIME OUT ON POLITICAL DRAMA”
– National Post
“Tories want a ‘time out'”
– Toronto Star
Wouldn’t That Violate Garth Drabinsky’s Right Not To Incriminate Himself?
“Love letter part of Crown’s Livent closing arguments”
– National Post
Because His Career Has None
“Automaker’s plan must show long-term viability: Bush”
– Toronto Star
Life Is The Vaccine
“Happiness is contagious: study”
– Globe and Mail
Well, Pardon Him For Being Partisan!
“HISTORY’S VERDICT: A SUCCESSFUL PRESIDENCY”
– National Post headline on an article by Conrad Black about George W. Bush
Because The Liberals And NDP Secretly Approved Of Cutting Off Their Own Election Funding
“‘We are all responsible,’ Harper says”
– Toronto Star
He Tried That, But He Found His Opponents Didn’t Like Being Easily Strangled
“PM needs to reach out”
– Toronto Star
So, When Republicans Said They Wanted To Destroy The Auto Union, They Figured That Would Be A Bonus?
“Auto rescue package becomes a victim of growing bailout fatigue”
– Globe and Mail
It Beats Public Lynching
“SIGN OF THE TIMES: Discreet Luxury”
– National Post
I Know – The Coalition Hardly Had A Chance To Confront The Conservative Govern – Oh, Wait, You’re Just Referring To A Football Game
“So much hype, so little excitement”
– Toronto Star
Who Knew The Brokers Were That Organized?
“Criminal groups threatening capital markets, RCMP says”
– Globe and Mail
Unfortunately, Not By Corporate America
“New corporate America pledged”
– Toronto Star
First, We Take Consumer Electronics, Then We Take Berlin
“World domination, one sleek, stylish appliance at a time”
– Globe and Mail
That’s Because He Has The Shield Of Ragnorff, Which Gives +2 Strength And +5 Healing To Every Member Of His Party
“An aura of inevitability surrounds Ignatieff”
– Globe and Mail